So Much to Blog About . . . So Little Time

Every day I think of something new that I want to blog about, and then every evening, I'm too pooped to type. So here are some topics that I've been thinking of:

Best Friends
One of my very closest friends came to visit us last week with her four-year-old son Jack. They arrived on Monday and left on Thursday and it was a wonderful visit. William LOVES my friend (I'll call her by her initials, ME, in case she doesn't want herself advertised on my blog!)--I have never seen him be so affectionate with another adult before! One day she was holding him and he didn't even want to come to me! That's pretty crazy. She is pregnant and due in November and I'm very excited for them. I think Jack will be a great big brother. He was very sweet with Seth. On Wednesday we went to a great local water park. There was a big pool with big slides and fountains, and then a baby pool with slides, and fountains that bubbled up from the bottom of the pool, and there was a sand area with a great water table. William and Jack had a blast. Seth slept in the stroller a bit, and I held him for a while, and he also hung out in the stroller and watched the pool. I think he had a good time, too. ME was such a huge help while she was here, which made me feel bad because they were supposed to be my guests! She also helped me see a major parenting infraction that I've been committing--asking William to do things instead of telling him to do things. This is another topic I want to blog about! Anyway, we loved having ME and Jack visit, and I'm hoping we'll be able to visit her in January to meet her baby and see her new house and spend time together.

Allergies
William went to the allergist this morning and had the skin-prick test for 16 different allergens. He got an immediate reaction to peanuts (so much for outgrowing that one!), and also to dust. I have been a terrible housekeeper since having kids and our house is covered in dust! Dust is something that Ed really doesn't see, so he's not much help, either. I'm supposed to get an iPhone for my birthday, and the monthly service fee is going to be a lot more than I currently pay. But now I'm thinking of bagging the phone and hiring a housekeeper instead. Ed said, "Or, you could just dust." Hmmmm--no. Anyway, William did not enjoy the skin test AT ALL, but it was over very quickly and we got to go to Target afterward, so all was well after that. Seth was perfect for the visit. He hung out in his car seat and cooed and smiled at me while we waited for the doctor. He got a bit antsy so I held him and he fell asleep and then slept in his car seat the whole time the doctor talked to me and William got his test. He was even good while we were in Target, sleeping while William played in the digger aisle!

Sleeping
William is having a bit of a sleep regression where he wants Ed or me to lie down with him and he cries and cries when we don't. He's waking once and sometimes twice a night. He settles down if I leave his door open, so that's what I've been doing. I don't think he's getting enough sleep, as he's still waking up at the crack of dawn, which is around 5:00 or 5:30 a.m., and he's not falling asleep until 00 p.m. or later, even if I try to put him down earlier. Seth, on the other hand, is doing pretty well. He's done several 6 or 7-hour stretches. More typical is 4 or 5 hours, but he'll go back to sleep after eating. Then he'll usually wake up after 2 hours. He has good days and bad days as far as napping goes. Today was a good day, and he actually napped in his swing quite a bit. On his bad days, he cat naps and he often wakes up if I try to put him down anywhere. I'm still not eating dairy, but I'm doubting if it's making a difference.

Eating
William is eating very little these days. He'd prefer a liquid diet of apple juice and chocolate milk. At breakfast, I can get him to eat a little bit of fruit. And at lunch, again, fruit. And at dinner, again, fruit. It's so hard to know if he's just not hungry (maybe because I'm giving him too much to drink), or if he doesn't like the choices I'm offering. He rarely requests anything specific, and what he seems to scarf down one night, he won't touch the next. Tonight he wouldn't touch his chicken nuggets and he started to eat a piece of broccoli, but then spit it out. So he ate NOTHING for dinner. And I didn't give him any chocolate milk or apple juice (which he did request). He drank some water before bed and that was it. We'll see what happens in the morning.

My Birthday
I turned 36 years old yesterday. Ack! I've been noticing wrinkles around my lips and eyes more and more these days. I need to spend a little time in the serious-moisturizer aisle! Anyway, I had a good day yesterday, and even got to linger in bed until 7:00 a.m.! I think that was the best treat of all. And I'm supposed to get an iPhone when the new one comes out on July 11. Woo-hoo! (If I decide to clean my house myself!)

Now it's late and I'm tired, so I'm going to bed. Maybe this will be a great sleep night for both boys! A girl can dream, right?

Pain at the Pump

And I'm not talking about gas. See this picture?

That's 36 ounces of breast milk--LIQUID GOLD--that I had to throw away after our power went out for two days. How painful is that? It may not seem like all that much, but I did not have a great milk supply with William and ended up supplementing his diet with one formula bottle a day. I never had a "stash" of breast milk for William. I hardly ever found time to pump when I was on maternity after William was born, either. So the fact that I have been pumping at least once almost every day since Seth was born, and getting anywhere from 1.5 to 4 ounces per session (I always pump right after Seth has eaten), has been very encouraging and even exciting! And the fact that I had to throw it all away just sucks.

But on the bright side, since I'm not eating dairy now, and Seth seems to be better now, all of that milk contained dairy proteins, so it's just as well, I guess. And I'm still pumping away and I'm building my stash back up again. So there's still hope! I can't say enough how relieved I am that nursing and pumping have been so easy this time around.

Seth is Two Months Old!

I can't believe it has already been two months since Seth was born. He's not a newborn anymore! He's smiling and cooing and expresses his disdain for the car seat louder than ever. He's sleeping a bit more these days, and by himself! Thank goodness. On Friday night, he slept in his bassinet from 8:30 p.m. to 3:30 a.m. That's seven hours! I'm hopeful that he'll start doing that more often. He loves the rain forest bouncy seat (a loaner from Stacey--thanks Stacey!) and has recently started focusing on the bird. He's even reached his arm towards it. I think he has eczema, he definitely has cradle cap and baby acne, but he's just adorable, in spite of it all. It also looks like he's going to have blue eyes! (Ed, William, and I all have brown eyes.)

I've stopped eating dairy (been dairy free for one full week now), and I think it's made a difference in his disposition. He's still gassy, but it doesn't seem to make him uncomfortable or cause him pain like it had been. And he's definitely sleeping better. I also think his skin looks better, but that could be because I've been rubbing lotion on him more often. I'll continue for two more weeks on absolutely no dairy, and then try things slowly to see if it makes a difference.

William, meanwhile, has come a long way in the last two months. I'm sure a lot of the changes would have happened anyway, even if Seth hadn't arrived, but I'm so proud of what a sweet and caring boy he has become. Although it's probably just a phrase, he always asks Ed and me, "Are you alright?" (It comes out sounding like, "Er you awight, Mommy?) And he's so earnest when he asks, looking into our eyes with this concerned look on his face. He'll say it to Seth, too, when Seth cries. Sometimes he tells Seth that he's okay. "Yur okay Sef!" This undoubtedly comes from me always telling William he's okay whenever he cries. One of the many qualities I want my children to have is empathy, and it's a hard one to teach. So I'm happy that William seems to have it. But like I said, this could be a phase!

As for our weekend, it was both productive and low-key. We didn't go anywhere any more exciting than Target and the grocery store. Ed's parents came over on Saturday to watch Seth and William so I could mow the lawn. (Ed was there but can't lift anything.) Today William watched a million videos because we were trying to get him to stay off his leg. On Saturday morning, he stumbled coming down a ladder and landed on his knee. He didn't cry or complain of any pain, but he started limping and he's been limping ever since. It's not swollen, he can bend it, he doesn't say that it hurts and doesn't flinch when you probe his foot or ankle or knee or leg. So I don't know what gives. But I'll have the doctor look at it tomorrow when we take Seth for his 2-month appointment.

Here are recent photos. First, today's photo shoot in the chair went about as well as last months!

Clearly didn't like this position:


Big brother didn't help AT ALL:


And changing positions is only going to make things worse!


Thank goodness I got these shots earlier in the day!

Tidbits and Updates

We're still here--just finding very little time to blog.

• Ed had his hernia surgery on Monday. It's an outpatient procedure, so it's a relatively minor procedure, but it's pretty painful for Ed. His parents took him to the surgery and brought him back to their house and he recuperated there for a few days. They brought him home last night. He's getting around pretty well, but it hurts him a lot to get up and down. William really missed him while he was gone, though. Ed came back last night in time to read stories to William and turn out his light. And while Ed was with his parents, my mom has been here helping me with the boys. We are soooo lucky to have family close by that are willing and able to help us out.
  


• While Ed was gone, we addressed the issue of William waking up during the night and needing us to lay down with him. Since Seth was born, Ed has been going in and laying down with him if he wakes in the night (which he does about half the time). I can't do it, obviously, because Seth is still sleeping on top of me a lot of the time, and I'm often nursing him when William wakes up. So on Sunday, I talked to William about how Mommy would come into his room and hold him for a minute if he woke up, but then Mommy would go back to her room and William would go back to sleep in his bed. He woke up that night and I went into his room and held him and put him back in his bed and left. He cried for less than a minute and went to sleep. The next night he woke up and I went in and held him and put him back in his bed and he went back to sleep with no protest. The next night he didn't wake up at all. Last night he woke up and I didn't even have to hold him. I just put his blankets over him and kissed him and he went back to sleep. So yay for positive progress! I'm hoping that eventually he'll stop needing us to come in.


• William is transitioning to the Two's classroom this week. He's moving to the new room with his best buddy Michael and 3 other kids from his class, so I think the transition will be pretty painless.
  


• William can walk down the stairs by himself now. We've been reluctant to encourage this development for fear that he'll fall down the stairs (he tumbled all the way down the basement steps almost a year ago and while he didn't get hurt, it scarred Ed and me for life!) but he's ready. I still stand directly in front of him as he walks down, though.


• I think that Seth has a dairy intolerance. I won't say allergy, although it might be an allergy because it looks like he has eczema. He's super gassy and grunts and strains and tenses up quite a bit, so I had stopped eating dairy to see if it helped. He got a lot better, but when I started eating dairy again, he started getting gassy and uncomfortable again and wasn't sleeping well. So I'm quitting dairy entirely for 3 weeks, and then I'll see if I can eat things that have milk as an ingredient (cooked milk), and go from there. It really sucks because dairy is my favorite food group. I could easily eat only from the dairy food group all day.
  


• Seth is starting to discover his hands. He'll bring them to his mouth and suck on them. His movements are also starting to be a little bit more controlled.
  


• Seth took his first bottle yesterday and had no issues whatsoever! Mom gave it to him in the car when we picked William up from daycare. So yay for that! I'll probably offer him the bottle every other day or every two days for a few weeks, and then do one bottle a day the week before he starts daycare.


• Speaking of daycare, I have less than four weeks of maternity leave left. I start back to work the week of July 14. While maternity leave hasn't really been a "break," I'm not sure if I'm ready to rejoin the working world. Six months of leave would be so much more civilized than 12 weeks!


• William's favorite books right now are My Truck is Stuck (thanks MJ!), Just Go To Bed, and I'm a Big Brother! The big brother book is awesome for after the baby's arrival. I highly recommend it for those of you who are expecting! (Lindsay and Megan :-) They have a Big Sister version, too, Megan!)
  

I'm sure there are many more things I'm forgetting, but that's enough for now. Hope to have some new pictures in my next post!

Things You Don't Want to Hear . . .

when your toddler is in a different room unsupervised: (Or so I've heard. ;-)

"Uh-oh, Mommy."

"I broke it!"

"I filled it up!"

"I open it!"

"I okay Mommy."

"I made a mess!"

And the number one thing you don't want to hear when your toddler is in another room unsupervised . . . . . SILENCE!

Seth Smiles

Here's a video of Seth's first milestones--smiling and cooing! Please forgive the cinematography. I was holding him in one arm and trying to video with the other.

Eating an Entire Container of Golden Oreos in Two Days is Not Going to Help Me Lose the Baby Weight!

Enough said.

More of What's Different and What's the Same

So back to the question of what's different this time around, and what's the same?

There's definitely a huge difference in me and my emotional state this time around. Although having an infant while also dealing with a 2-year-old is challenging, to say the least, the caring-for-the-infant part is so much easier this time. And it's not because Seth is an easier baby, because really, he isn't. In fact, Ed thinks he's a lot more fussy than William was. (I think Ed thinks that because I hardly ever let William cry for even a minute, but Seth has to hold his own a bit more than that!) I think it just makes a huge difference in knowing what to expect, and in really knowing (based on experience and not because people are telling you) that it's just a phase, and that this, too, shall pass. Maybe it all comes down to confidence.

Or maybe it's just a matter of necessity. I spend so much time and energy trying to keep William out of trouble while trying to let him explore and learn, and trying to balance discipline and love, that I don't have the time or energy to worry about exactly how long or how often Seth is nursing, or why he'll only sleep when I hold him, or what I'm doing wrong. Maybe that's the biggest difference in my emotional state--I don't feel like I'm doing anything wrong, per say. And if I am, well, whatever. With William, it just seemed like everything mattered so much. With Seth, I'm definitely much less uptight. Which is to be expected, I guess.

Another difference is that I'm successfully wearing Seth! I use the Ergo and I finally got a Hotsling! The Ergo is much easier on the back, but it's hard to keep the baby in position. He slips down a lot. Plus it's a little bulky and not convenient for on-the-go. The Hotsling is great for on-the-go, Seth seems to really like it, and it's fashionably cute! But again--a little hard on the back. And with either carrier, there's only so much you can do when wearing them. It's not easy to bend over or squat or reach up for things. But they definitely have their uses. We also have the Bjorn, but Seth doesn't like the face-in position. We'll see if he likes face out. Although I'll probably just use the Ergo for that position, too. William loved face out when he got big enough. But he never liked the slings. Maybe I didn't really give them a chance, but William never liked being held in the cradle position, either. Anyway, I think baby wearing is more of a necessity for baby #2, especially if he won't sleep on his own!

Another difference is that I know to try something many times before giving up on it. (Kind of like offering new foods to toddlers!) Swaddling didn't work well for Seth in the first several weeks, but now it's working a lot more often. He'll sleep for hours in a row swaddled. (Not every time, mind you, but more often than not!) I tried swaddling William early on, but he seemed to hate it, so I gave up. Then when he started his new daycare at 4 months, they swaddled him for naps, and it worked! I was shocked and was mad that I hadn't kept trying. The sling is the same story. Seth doesn't always like it, but it works more often than not. I tried once or twice with William and then gave up. So live and learn!

Something that is the same as last time is the frustration I sometimes feel when I use all my patience to hold Seth and let him fall into a deep sleep, and then when I finally ease him down into the swing or the car seat or the bassinet or onto my bed, he wakes up. The evenings after William goes to bed are the worst. He's usually gassy and cranky and I can hardly even change into my PJs and brush my teeth. I usually don't get dinner, and yes--Ed tries holding Seth, but that just doesn't work very well. Ed is not much of a "baby" guy, although he tries!

Seth is also unpredictable and inconsistent, just like William was. One day, he'll sleep for a long stretch in the bassinet and the next day he won't. One day, swaddling will work and I'll get a five-hour stretch of sleep at night. But the next night, it won't. One day, he'll have a long alert/happy time in the morning, and the next day, he'll be a wreck in the morning, but happy and content in the evening. Maybe I'm the unpredictable one, or the inconsistent one. Maybe I should try harder to get a "schedule" going. But even now, after two years and a routine that is mostly carved in stone, William still wakes up at a different time every day. There's just no telling. Regardless of why, it's definitely the same!

I've been working on this post for several weeks now, so I better post it before it falls into the neverland of "drafts that never get published." It feels like there are many more little things that are the same and different, but I'll have to try to save them for another post!

Maternity Leave Is Not Time Off

A lot of people have asked me if I'm enjoying my "time off" during maternity leave. As any mom knows, maternity leave is NOT time off! Yes--it is a change of pace, but it is just as stressful, if not more so, than my full-time WOH job. Here is our typical day:

Get up around 6:00 a.m. or 6:30, after having been awake in bed since about 4:00 a.m., which is when Seth usually wakes up and nurses. And when he finally goes back to sleep (if he goes back to sleep), William is usually up by then and rarely does he fall back asleep, either in his bed or in ours. If Seth is fussy, I'll try nursing him again. If not, I'll either take a shower, or brush teeth/wash face/brush hair. (Ed usually gets in the shower at 6:30.) Between the Lions is on PBS at 6:00 a.m., so we usually turn it on to keep William occupied which either gives me a chance to shower, or gives us both 30 more minutes to stay in bed.

Between 6:30 and 7:30 a.m., Ed and I juggle getting ourselves dressed, getting William dressed, taking things away from William that he shouldn't be playing with (like the hair dryer, deodorant, tampons, any bottle with a lid which he can now open, toilet paper rolls, dental floss, my makeup, etc. etc.), holding Seth, getting breakfast for William, and getting something to eat for ourselves (which doesn't always happen).

Some time around 7:00 or 7:30, depending on how our morning is going, I'll nurse Seth again to top him off before the ride to William's daycare. We usually leave the house some time between 7:30 and 8:00 a.m. We'll get to daycare any time between 8:00 and 9:00. I drop William off, get back in the car with Seth, and head home. We get home some time between 9:00 and 10:00.

Sometimes I'll stop at the grocery store or run some other errand before heading home. I usually go straight home, though, because Seth is often hungry by the time we get home, and if I try to stop, he'll inevitably end up screaming his protest, and I'll end up nursing him in the car in some parking lot.

Between 10:00 a.m. and noon, I'm usually attempting to get Seth to nap by himself after playing with him for a bit. Sometimes I try pumping after I've nursed him. If I can put him down for a few minutes, I might try cleaning up from the morning rush. I might even get a load of laundry in the wash. Sometimes I can check my e-mail or read a few blogs. Mostly, I end up sitting on the bed, watching morning TV while Seth naps on top of me. And while this doesn't really sound like "work," it can be very frustrating. He'll fall asleep and then I'll put him down somewhere, and then five minutes later, he's crying like his world has ended.

Lately, Seth has been taking a good afternoon nap. I shouldn't really say "lately." More like, there have a been a few days recently when he has taken a good afternoon nap. This has made such a difference in my mood and productivity. I've been able to sort through baby clothes and put things away and do laundry and get a head start on dinner and blog and email. There are still lots of things I want to work on, but I don't have any more "free" time on maternity leave than I did when I was working all day.

Anyway, before I know it, it's 3:00 and time to nurse Seth before we leave to pick up William. We leave the house around 3:30, and get home around 5:00 p.m. I spend the next hour and a half trying to play with William, picking up the house if I didn't get to earlier, nursing Seth, and getting William's dinner ready and sometimes Ed's and my dinner.

When Will This Week End?

On Wednesday afternoon, a crazy fast storm blew through our area and knocked down tons of trees and branches, downed power lines, and tied up traffic for hours. Our power went out at 3:00 p.m., I left with Seth to pick up William and didn't return until 3 hours later (a round trip that usually takes one and a half hours at the most), the power didn't come back on for 30 hours, and a heat wave descended on our area after the storm passed through.

William stayed home from daycare on Thursday and Friday. He stayed home Thursday because Ed had locked our van when it was in the garage (I never lock the car when it's in our garage), and the diaper bag with my keys and cell phone were in the diaper bag. By the time Ed came back to open the car, it wasn't worth it to take William to school. We got a good laugh when Ed walked into the house and said, "Don't we have a spare key?" Ummm, oh yeah. It's in the living room, in the cup with the other keys. Well, maybe not so much of a laugh as a, "holy shit--are we sleep deprived or what?"

William missed daycare today because we spent last night at Ed's parents, since we weren't sure that the power would be turned back on. Fortunately, it went back on at 8:45 last night, so when we got home today, everything seemed back to normal. I started cleaning out the freezer and the refrigerator, though. It's painful how much food I'm throwing out. My grocery bill this weekend is going to be outrageous.

I'll be glad when this week is over. I'm lost as to what day it is--this week has seemed so long. I took pictures of Seth on his six-week birthday. He's so cute, but he's got a terrible case of baby acne right now. William had it, too. Poor guy! Anyway, Seth is doing better--no more strider. But he's still stuffed up and has a pretty rough-sounding cough. I really hope he shakes it this weekend. I'm trying to nurse him a lot to keep him hydrated. He's not sleeping all that well, but after some long spells with lots of broken naps, he'll settle down for a long spell of sleep, so that's always a relief. Here are some pictures! Enjoy. And lets hope next week is much better!

ER!

Seth made his first trip to the ER. He's only six weeks old, and he's already having breathing issues. Unlike William, however, he was having stridor, which is a high-pitched squawking or crowing noise when he inhales. William wheezes, which can be heard on the exhale. Stridor happens when the trachea swells, while wheezing is caused by inflammation of the lungs or bronchial tubes. (I learned all of this at three in the morning!)

Needless to say I was scared to death, because it sounded like Seth couldn't breathe, and he felt hot. I definitely panicked. It seemed to happen so suddenly. I woke up around 1:00 a.m. because Seth was squirming a bit and after a few minutes, I started hearing the awful inhale noise and the barky cough. Ed woke up pretty quickly, too, which scared me because he sleeps through almost anything. I turned the shower onto hot to get the steam going and had Ed sit in the bathroom with Seth, and we decided I should call 911. I was that scared. The 911 operator heard Seth crying though and said that crying was a good sign because it meant he could breathe. So we decided that I would take Seth to the ER. I was so torn between feeling like I was overreacting, and then feeling like I wasn't doing enough to help Seth.

So at 1:45 a.m., Seth and I arrived at the ER. Because he was having breathing problems, he was seen right away. They diagnosed him with Croup, although it's very unusual for an infant or young baby to get croup. There could be something else going on with his trachea or vocal cords, but they treat the inflammation the same way regardless. He got an oral steroid and a nebulizer treatment, and we got to go home at 6:00 a.m. He still has the barky cough and sounds super hoarse, but the stridor is gone, thank goodness. We followed up with our pediatrician today and Seth looks good, but I've got to watch him closely.

I won't even go into all the guilty mom feelings I'm having as to why I can't seem to keep my kids healthy. Isn't breastfeeding supposed to give them better immunity? Not so in my case. The only good news to come of all of this is that Seth weighs 10 lbs, 5 oz! He's definitely eating well. Let's hope that continues. And of course, Seth is sleeping like a champ today (by himself! Not on me!). Not sure if it's because of the virus, or our night in the ER. Either way, I'll take it. Stay tuned!