Daycare Dilemma

When I got pregnant with William, we applied to four or five daycare centers, not knowing which one would have an opening when we needed it. Our number one choice was Daycare A (don't want to give too much away on my blog, here!), but the wait list for that center is notoriously long--unless you have an older child at the center, you're pretty much not going to get your baby in--so that was a long-shot. We ended up putting William in a center near our house initially, but then moved him to his current center about a month later, when a spot opened up. We weren't thrilled with the first center, so we were happy with our move to the current center.

There have definitely been things about the current center that I haven't liked, but overall, I've been very pleased with the teachers and have felt like William has been well-taken care of. I mostly had issues with the mobile infant classroom, which holds babies from 8 months old to 18 months old. First of all, I think the developmental differences are too much between those ends. It makes it very difficult for the teachers to provide quality care for all the kids. You have babies who still need to be hand-fed and who nap in cribs, and still take two naps a day, and then you have toddlers who walk and run, feed themselves, nap once a day, etc. Also, the room has too many kids--twelve total. Even though they have four teachers in the room, it's still too many kids.

Once William moved to the toddler room, however, (ages 18 mos. to 2 yrs.) I had no complaints. The teachers in that room run a tight ship and really seem to know what they're doing. There are 12 kids in that room also, which again is more than I would like, but because the kids are more developmentally advanced, it works so much better. I also love the Two's room, where William is now, for the same reasons.

So back to Daycare A. We "fell off" the waiting list after William got into his current center because I forgot to pay the annual "corporation" fee that keeps you on the waiting list. But the next year, when William was 1 and 1/2, I got him back on the list. When I got pregnant with Seth, I put him on the waiting list at Daycare A as well, just thinking that it's nice to have options. Well, guess what? We got an offer today for Seth. The infant room has an opening beginning
August 25. There is not an opening, however, for William. So that means if we accept the spot for Seth at Daycare A, I'll have to drop off the boys at two separate places for who-knows how long. As the sibling of an enrolled child, William will move to the front of the list and get offered the next available spot. But who knows when that will happen. Aghhhhh!

My first reaction was to turn the spot down, but to stay on the wait list, just to have options. I love the teachers at the current center and have established good relationships with them. It will be very inconvenient and time-consuming to do two drop-offs. It will probably add at least 15 or 20 minutes to both the morning and afternoon. It will likely be a bit traumatic to move William if a spot opens for him.

But then I re-visited Daycare A today, and I remembered why it was our first choice in the first place. For starters, the facilities are so much nicer. The playground has a separate area for the younger kids and older kids. The infant room has a separate kitchen and diaper changing area. The lead teachers in all of the classrooms have been there for at least seven years or more. The center was recently re-accredited from NAEYC and passed with flying colors. The whole place just seems so well managed compared to our current center. The center is better supported by its sponsoring institution than our current center, both financially and in other ways. The infant, young toddler, and toddler classes are all smaller than the current center.

To be fair, our current center has a new director and a new board and things are definitely improving. The center is up for re-accreditation this fall, and that can only make the center better. The new director is more supportive of the staff, which I think will make a big difference in terms of encouraging continuing education for the staff and improving morale and motivating the staff and inspiring enthusiasm. (And while I know the teachers at Daycare A are better trained and have more opportunities for training, I don't know if they're enthusiastic and motivated.) And it's possible that we (parents) can really push the issues with the mobile infant room and try to get enrollment down and the ages changed.

BUT, do I want my children to be in a center that might improve, or one that is already where I want it to be? If I think Daycare A is a better center, and I want what's best for my children, then maybe it's a no-brainer. The reasons I would stay at our current center would be the relationships that I've formed, the convenience, and some measure of sticking with the devil I know. Maybe I'd just be trading one set of problems for another. No place is perfect. There will always be issues that come up. But my gut keeps telling me that Center A is a better center.

I guess for Seth, it is a no-brainer. If I didn't have to worry about William, I think I'd move Seth without thinking twice. It's William that I'm more hesitant to move. Ed thinks he'd adjust pretty quickly. I'm not so sure. He's so hesitant in unfamiliar settings, with people he doesn't know. He doesn't join in right away--he hangs back and just watches. So how long would he do that before he felt comfortable? Would the change traumatize him at this age? I guess I'm also thinking that even though Daycare A seems like a better center, how much better is it? Is it worth the hassle to go between two daycares for a while? And worth it to go through what could be a tough transition? If I don't move them, though, will I regret it? Will I think that I didn't do the very best for them that I possibly could?

I'm leaning towards switching Seth to Daycare A and hoping that a spot will open for William soon so I don't have to go between the new centers for long. And who knows--maybe once we establish a routine for the two drop-offs, it won't seem so bad. It will be hard to leave the teachers that I have come to know and trust. But I'm sure I'll establish new relationships, and in the end, it's about what is best for the kids. And I forgot to mention that Daycare A is actually less expensive than our current daycare. So we'd be getting a lot more bang for our buck. You can't beat that!

Ed is leaving the decision up to me. He thinks we should go with Daycare A, but understands it will be more difficult with the two drop-offs, and since I'm the one that has to deal with that issue, he's not pushing it. He feels comfortable enough with the current daycare that he could leave them both where they are.

Decisions decisions. I have to let Daycare A know our decision by tomorrow afternoon. I plan to sleep on it, and make a few more inquiries tomorrow. As one of my good friends said, no matter what I decide, there will be the good and the bad. Possible regrets either way. Why is life so complicated sometimes?

Troublemaker Already?

This is what William's "My Day" sheet said today:

"We began our morning outside before it became too hot. Ms. Tasha [the Spanish teacher] arrived shortly after snack and everyone was very excited. William sat down and enjoyed the songs and working with the puppets. Then he and Michael began to pull each other to the floor and laugh. They had lost their focus. We walked over to the table to watch how our other friends were following her directions. William was very sad he had to leave the group. Once he settled we went back. He followed along for about 5 mins. then he and Michael started all over again. We left again and watched the group. . . . "

The rest of his day seemed to go pretty well, so at least he wasn't a total disaster! I just love they way his teacher lets us know what's going on. Her descriptions are wonderful, and she really pays attention to each child and notices the little moments and the way they learn, and she writes with such detail. When you work full time and don't get to spend the bulk of your day with your child, these daily reports mean a lot.

As for William getting in trouble--it's that Michael! William's hanging with the wrong crowd, I'm afraid. No, no, no--I'm totally kidding. Michael is William's best buddy and the two of them definitely egg each other on. Michael is a few weeks older, but more advanced than William both verbally and physically, and he's also fearless. William is more of a follower than a leader, and is much more hesitant, but give him some time to warm up and get going, and there's no telling what he'll do. So the two of them make quite a pair. When William gets to his classroom in the morning, the first thing he says is, "Michael?"

William and Michael have been together since their earliest days in the infant room, and Michael's mom is one of those rare friends you make in adulthood who you feel an instant connection with. My friendship with her and a few other moms from daycare have been an unexpected bonus--something I didn't expect to get out of daycare!

Two in Tow, Part Two

I realized as I re-read yesterday's post that I don't have the talent to capture in writing the chaos that accompanies life with two small children. When I'm in the thick of some crazy situation, in my head I think, "This will be great for my blog!" But at the end of the day, when I face my computer and try to recreate the scene, I never seem to get it right--the sequence of the events, the accompanying emotion, the humor that makes everything bearable. With that in mind, I'll continue with my attempt to record our typical--or not so typical--daily routines.

I think I left off at the end of my workday, when I go to pick up the boys from daycare. I leave work at 4:30 p.m. and walk the two blocks to the daycare. I have to remember to get my breast pump, the breast milk out of the refrigerator, and the ice pack out of the freezer. This seems like a no-brainer, but believe me, it's very easy for me to forget these things. When I get to the daycare, I get the stroller and car seat out of the buggy room. I stop at Seth's room first. I have to pick up his bottles, get his My Day sheet, and sign him out. Then we go to pick up William. I sign William out and get his My Day. Sometimes, William is playing outside at the end of the day, so Seth and I go outside to get William. Then we head to the elevators and down to the parking garage. I get both boys in their car seats, put my purse, the pump, and the bottle bag in the front seat, and then stow the stroller in the back of the van. We usually pull out of the garage around 5:00 p.m. (give or take 5 or 10 minutes).

The commute home takes about 35-40 minutes, so we usually get home some time between 5:30 and 6:00. Usually it's closer to 5:30, but tonight, traffic was a little heavy, so we didn't get home until 5:45. Seth usually falls asleep for a 30-minute cat nap on the way home. He often gets fussy before falling asleep, though, so I've usually got my arm stretched out behind me so Seth can suck on my pinky. He has a pacifier but he can't seem to keep it in his mouth, so it's easier to let him suck on my pinky. For the past week or so, William has been watching Thomas videos on the portable DVD player. I don't normally like him to do this, because I feel like we should be using this time to talk, but I have to admit that it's made life a little bit easier this past week. It's given me a bit of time to just decompress before getting home. And even with the video on, William still chats it up a bit.

Once we're home, I get William out of the car seat and put him inside. If Seth is sleeping, I get all my stuff out next. If not, I get Seth out and put him inside and then get my stuff. If Seth stays asleep when I get the car seat inside, then I run upstairs to change my clothes. William has been staying downstairs when I do this, so I try to be as quick as I can. William immediately wants to go outside when we get home, so he tends to gather cars or toys that he wants to play with outside while I change. By now, Seth is usually awake and fussing. (If he was already awake, then I take him upstairs with me while I change.)

So this is where things are usually kind of crazy. I've got William downstairs saying, "Outside? Outside?" over and over. Seth is usually fussing, if not full-on crying, and he's also usually ready to nurse within an hour of us getting home. I'm trying to change, and I usually try to get the bottles and pump parts in the sink soon after arriving home. If I've planned ahead, I've also got to get dinner in the oven or on the stove, and this might involve a bit of prep work. The cat is also usually meowing because he wants attention or he needs to be fed or God-knows-why-else. And it's close to 6:00 p.m., and I usually try to have dinner ready by 6:30 for William. Ed usually doesn't get home until 6:30 at the earliest, so it's kind of a crap shoot whether or not we eat together as a family. William has become a pretty picky eater anyway, so he usually eats something different than what we eat anyway.

So back to the routine, once I'm changed, I let William go outside and I douse him with bug repellent. Our yard is fenced now, so I can go in and out of the house for short periods of time without having to worry too much about what he's up to. He usually plays in his sandbox and then mows the lawn with his bubble mower. He also has a garden shovel that he likes to dig with in the dirt. And he has a bubble gun that he's been playing with lately. So if Seth is not too fussy and seems to be enjoying the bouncy seat, I'll get dinner together while keeping an eye on William outside. If Seth is fussy, I'll hold him and try to get dinner together. But if that's a lost cause, then we'll go outside and just hang out with William. If Seth needs to nurse when we get home, I'll sit on the back step and nurse him while William plays. Tonight, William decided he wanted to eat outside, so I served him leftover steak (which I managed to cook on the grill yesterday when we got home from work--while holding Seth and keeping an eye on William), raisins and lima beans on the steps outside the door. After he ate, he wanted to play in the car, so I let him do that until Ed got home. Seth and I just hung out in the garage and front yard while William played. When Ed got home, we went inside and Ed and I ate a quick dinner of leftovers while William played with his trucks and Seth visited with his toucan friend on the bouncy seat.

Sometime around 7:00 p.m. (sometimes more like 7:15), we head upstairs for bath. I usually get the bath going while Ed gets William stripped. Ed and I are both in and out of the bathroom as William bathes, but lately, Ed has been doing most of the bath. He's been drying William off and getting him into his PJs, too. I've been changing Seth and nursing Seth around this time. When his PJs are on and his teeth are brushed, Seth and I give William a goodnight hug and kiss, and then Ed reads to William and I go to Seth's room to finish nursing and to put him to sleep for the night. Both boys are usually lights out and asleep by 8:00 p.m.

Some nights, this is when Ed and I will get to eat dinner. If we've already eaten, we clean up in the kitchen and family room, and then it's time to wash bottles and pump parts, get the next day's bottles ready, make the next day's lunches, and do prep work for the next night's dinner. It's exhausting, but I've been able to get everything done in about an hour. I've also enlisted Ed to do some of the prep work for the next night's meals, too. I think I'll continue doing that. I've found that there's really no way I can make a meal on the fly these days. I've got to have it planned ahead of time, and it has to basically be ready to go in the oven or on the stove the minute I walk in the door. Tomorrow night, for example, I'm making baked chicken thighs in a lemon/garlic/honey sauce, so I trimmed the chicken thighs and put them in the baking dish and made the sauce and put it all in the fridge. So when I get home tomorrow, I pour the sauce over the chicken and put it in the oven and that's basically it. For sides, I usually nuke frozen veggies. It's boring, but quick. We'll probably have Stove Top stuffing with the chicken, too. Who knows if we'll all eat together, though. Probably not.

So, around 9:15, I can finally go upstairs and relax. Sometimes I'll blog, sometimes I'll watch TV, sometimes Ed and I will lie on the bed and talk. Or read. Some nights I've just gone to sleep (which I should do more often!), but I also try to pump around 10:00 or 10:30, so I try to stay up. So that's it--that's our day! It seems quite mundane. But truthfully, at the end of the day, I'm usually quite impressed with myself that we're all still in one piece, things seem to be in order, we've all managed to eat something that isn't fast food (even if it is ready-made chicken nuggets or Kraft mac'n'cheese), and we're ready to do it all again tomorrow.

I'm sure things will change a lot--as things always do--when the traffic gets bad again, and as Seth gets older, and as the weather starts changing, and we switch back to standard time. But I'm pretty confident that we'll continue to maintain some measure of order, despite all the monkey wrenches that get tossed into our days. Of course, it's only week two of me being back to work, so I could have a false sense of security right now. Maybe it's been too easy. Hmmmm . . .

Daily Routines with Two in Tow

I've been rather pleased with how the logistics of our days have been going since Seth came on board. While I was on maternity leave, I still took William to daycare most days, so Ed and I quickly got accustomed to getting up in the morning, getting ourselves showered and ready for the day (I probably showered every other morning while on maternity leave), getting the boys dressed and fed (I usually didn't have to worry about Seth's outfit--just a quick diaper change and he was good to go), and getting out the door. Of course, there were a lot of little details that I didn't have to worry about, such as bottles, my breakfast, my lunch, the pump, pump parts, and daycare necessities for two boys (things like diapers, sheets and blankets on Mondays, changes of clothes, pacifiers, etc., etc.). And while I was on maternity leave, I really didn't have to leave by any certain time. I had a goal of when I wanted to be out the door, but if Seth slept in a bit, or William decided to poop right before getting into the car, no big deal.

Now that I'm back at work, however, getting out the door by a certain time is a necessity. And all those little details that I didn't have to worry about before add up to things that take a lot of time. Despite all of this additional responsibility, however, and the extra time that it takes to deliver two kids to two different classrooms at daycare (and to stow the car seat and stroller in the buggy room), I've been managing to get to work on time. Of course, it is the summer, which means traffic is light. And with the August recess coming up (Congress takes a long vacation for the month of August), schedules on the Hill are usually light, which means fewer people driving to Hill during rush hour, which means traffic will be even lighter. Come September, we can expect our commute to take at least 15-30 minutes longer! But we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

In the meantime, I thought I'd record our typical workday routine. Seth has not settled into any kind of a routine yet as far as sleeping goes, so when I wake up for the day totally depends on him. He tends to have a long stretch of sleep in the beginning of the night, and then in the wee hours of the morning, he wakes up more often. Regardless, by 5:30 or 5:45 a.m., I'm usually up and getting into the shower. When I get out of the shower, William is usually in our room, so I turn on the TV so he can watch "Between the Lions." I get dressed and pray that I'll have time to blow dry my hair before Seth wakes up. On the really good days, I'll even have time to put on my makeup.

When Seth wakes up, I'll get him dressed and nurse him, or if he nursed not that long before, I'll take him with me downstairs to make William something for breakfast and to start getting everything together to take to work. I have to put the bottles in the cooler bag, put any pump parts that were drying overnight into the pump case, gather together lunch stuff, etc. Once William's breakfast is ready (with accompanying to-go cups because he rarely eats at home, but will eat in the car on the way to daycare), I'll sit down to nurse Seth. Meanwhile, Ed is getting William dressed for the day. Sometimes Ed gets William's breakfast together, depending on what Seth needs, or how much I was able to get myself ready before Seth woke up.

My goal is to get out the door at 7:00 a.m., so after Seth has nursed, I start putting stuff in the car, or else Ed does. I usually have something for myself to drink in the car--apple juice or orange juice. And I have a sippy cup of juice for William, along with his breakfast. So then we're off to work! Our commute has been taking about 35-40 minutes. Seth has been falling asleep in the car and taking a 30-minute nap. So that's nice.

Once we get to daycare, I park in the garage, get the stroller out of the back, put Seth's car seat in the stroller, get William out of his car seat, gather the pump, my purse, and any extra bags I may have (stuff for daycare), and we head to the elevators. When we get to the daycare, we drop William off at his classroom first. He still clings to me a bit, but I can usually leave without him throwing too big of a fit. Then I drop Seth off at his room. (Part of the drop-off involves signing the boys in, and then filling out the "my day" sheets, which give a little info about when they woke up, what they've eaten, etc.) Then I put the stroller and car seat in the buggy room. And then I walk two blocks to my office.

I leave work at 4:30, and I do the drop-off routine in reverse. I retrieve the stroller and car seat, pick up Seth (and gather his bottles, sign him out, take his "my day" sheet), pick up William, and head to the parking garage. We're usually on the road by 5:00, and we get home around 5:30 or 5:45 p.m. Seth usually falls asleep again on the way home for a little catnap.

I think I have to save the after-work routine for tomorrow because it's late and I need to pump. After work is when it gets fun, anyway. I'm trying to start dinner, and William usually wants to play outside, and Seth is either tired or hungry or both. So stay tuned for Two in Tow part Two! (And yes--I am aware of how boring this post is! LOL.

Weekend Report

I feel like I have so much to blog about, and yet, as I sit here at the end of a long and busy weekend, the best I can come up with is the weekend report.

On our way home from work Friday evening, we got caught up in a terrible traffic jam. We got to our exit off the interstate in about 20 minutes. And then we just inched along. It took about 45 minutes to go less than 2 miles. I was so frustrated. We pulled out of the daycare garage at a little after 5:00 p.m. and at 6:15 p.m., home was nowhere in sight. William was amazingly patient and good-spirited. Seth slept for his usual 30 minutes, but when he woke up, he was a bit testy. By 6:15, I figured he was getting hungry, so I bailed into a shopping center, thinking I could stop and nurse Seth for a bit. But as I circled the shopping center, Seth dozed off again, so I thought I should keep going, but try an alternate route. Apparently, the accident had happened on the alternate route, though, so I got caught up in even more terrible traffic trying to go that way. At this point, Seth was awake again, it was now 6:45, William was starting to talking about "sum-pin eat," and I was feeling panicky. So I bailed again, this time at the shopping mall, which fortunately, had a Target as one of its anchors. So we did a little shopping, played with trucks and diggers, and got something to eat. (Doritos, a hot dog, and lemonade--and William barely touched the hot dog.) Seth was great while we were in Target. He dozed a bit as we walked around, and sat in my lap and people-watched as we ate our "dinner." I nursed Seth in the car before we headed home, and fortunately, the traffic had cleared out by then. We finally got home around 8:15 p.m. For the most part, I love where we live, but the cost of living and the traffic SUCK!

On Saturday morning, we went to a birthday party for one of William's classmates. The party reminded me that William is definitely not a risk-taker. The neighbors had a huge inflatable pool (the vortex spin slide and pool) and William was very hesitant to get in it. When he did, he wanted nothing to do with the slides or the tunnel--even if Ed or I went with him. He stuck close to the side, and then got a hold of one of the water guns on the side, and that's where he stayed the whole time.


After the pool, the kids headed over to the moon bounce (below), where once again, William was very hesitant to play. He did not want to jump inside with the other kids. Instead, he played on the slide--until a bunch of other kids started playing on the slide. His favorite part of the party was the big bucket of homemade bubbles. He spent a good deal of time blowing bubbles with various bubble wands. At least I don't have to worry about having a fearless child, right? He had a great time at the party, regardless, and totally wore himself out. Seth enjoyed the party, too! He snoozed in his car seat, hung out in the baby bjorn, and finally ended up in his usual position--slung over my arm as we tagged along after William.

Our house is in shambles right now because we were expecting to move a bunch of furniture around this evening. But the movers Ed hired didn't show up. We got an extra refrigerator from Ed's aunt, so we were going to have the movers move the refrigerator to the basement, move the entertainment center that's in the basement upstairs to our living room, move the loveseat that's in our family room upstairs to Ed's office, and move the piano that's in the living room into the family room. We've decided to make the living room on our main level into a family room, and we'll keep the toys in the family room. Anyway, since the movers never showed, stuff is everywhere, but nothing is moved. *Sigh* Hopefully we can figure something out this week.

Tonight I gave the boys a bath together for the first time. They both seemed to really enjoy it. It wasn't exactly easy, but I just held Seth in the crook of my arm and he sort of floated in the water and I washed him with my other hand. William "helped" by pouring water onto Seth's tummy and washing his feet and legs with the was cloth. Seth smiled and cooed and watched William very attentively. Not sure if I'll do it again soon, but it was definitely convenient to get them both done at the same time. More on the logistics of doing bath and bedtime routine by myself in a future post.

Finally--we got through our first full week of back to work. Seth had a really good week and seemed to settle into the routine pretty easily. Another future post will cover our daily routine a bit. I've been rather impressed with myself and the ease with which we've managed to get out the door in the mornings! Well--not exactly ease, but I haven't been a basket case, either!

Toddler Discipline

August's issue of Parents Magazine has an article about discipline called "Discipline for Softies." It's basically a version of catching your kids doing things right. When your child does something you want him or her to do, you go crazy with the praise. So for example, I want William to say "please" more consistently, and without me having to remind him. So when he does say "please," I might say, in a super-enthusiastic, over-the-top way, "Wow William! I'm so proud of you for saying please! You're using your manners and that's awesome!!!!!" And giving hugs and high-fives would also be appropriate. At first, you might have to role play the good behavior with your child. So I might say, "William, let's play a game. If you want a cookie, you say, 'Please,' and I'll give you a bite." And then when he says "please" in the role play, go over-the-top with the praise.

This approach makes a lot of sense to me, but it's really hard to remember to praise your child every time they do something that you want them to do. The article suggests starting with one behavior that you want to work on. It may be sitting at the table, or getting dressed, or trying new foods, or picking up toys. Once you've seen results with that behavior, you'll be more comfortable working on other behaviors.

But there are some behaviors that it seems difficult to apply this concept to. One of William's behaviors that drives me crazy is playing with his food. He'll crush goldfish and scatter them on the floor, or pinch peas between his fingers and flick them on the floor. So am I supposed to over-the-top praise him every time he doesn't play with his food? And then, of course, since he's two and loves to push limits, if he's eating nicely and not playing with his food, and I praise him for not playing with his food, that's sure to make him start playing with his food. In that situation, it makes more sense to me to take away his plate when he starts playing with his food.

Regardless of what approach you choose, I know that the key to effective discipline is consistency, consistency, consistency--which is about the hardest thing to achieve of any parenting goal. It is usually so inconvenient to be consistent! You're supposed to pick your battles with your toddler, but on any given day, what I'm willing to battle over might change.

Laura at Laura's Mommy Journal--mommy extraordinaire to twin toddlers!--wrote a great post about how sometimes, there's no amount of cajoling or reasoning or outwitting or disciplining (whether positive or negative) that will get your toddler to do what you need him or her to do. There are times when you just have force the issue and tolerate the crying. I think Ed understands this concept much better than I do. I usually try so hard to avoid the confrontations and to prevent the meltdowns. I give advance notice and try to come up with incentives and I'll even put things off if I don't get cooperation right away. I'm guilty of letting William dictate the terms sometimes. (Okay, maybe a lot of the time!) But Ed just plows forward, despite the protests, the crying, the flailing. His approach is, "You're going to do what I say, when I say it." Now, he's not totally insensitive, and he does give advance notice, and he's open to some negotiation. But on the whole, his approach is pretty effective, if not always pretty. William never has a fit for long, and before I know it, he's happily chatting and playing with his daddy--the angst of the moment completely forgotten.

My only spin on this approach is to practice active listening when forcing the issue. So when I drag William, kicking and screaming, upstairs for his nap, I'll say, "I know you don't want to go upstairs to nap right now, and you're really mad at mommy for making you stop playing with your toys." I don't know if this makes any difference whatsoever, but it makes me feel better

Discipline is definitely one of the hardest parts of parenting. I often think about how my parents disciplined me and my four siblings. My mom was a big proponent of ignoring tantrums. And she didn't put up with sibling fighting, either. We either had to go outside, or else stop playing together. She never took sides. Of course, I don't remember how she disciplined me as a toddler, and since I was the youngest, I don't have examples of how she disciplined younger siblings. My family says that I got away with murder, and I probably did. My mom got lazy, I think. I would too, if I had five kids! On the other hand, it seems like by the fifth child, you would have your discipline technique down pat!

I think I've babbled long enough about discipline. It's a learning process and something that takes lots of practice. I think we've been fortunate that William has been relatively mild-mannered. He certainly has his moments, and I think whining might become his forte. But overall, his fits are short-lived and he easily moves on. Does this mean we're in for it with Seth? I guess time will tell.

Seth is Three Months Old

As mentioned in my earlier blog post, Seth turned 3 months old today. I had to open my What to Expect the First Year and the Dr. Sears books to jog my memory about what he should be able to do at this point. I think he's on track. He loves his hands, he's figuring out cause and effect, he likes to push on his legs and stand, he's tracking with his eyes, and he's making lots of sounds. He's much more vocal than William was. The books also made me realize, though, that I haven't really focused on the developmental toys and the different ways I should try to stimulate the baby. Maybe I should bust those toys out every once in a while, huh? I guess hanging out in my arms watching William play isn't quite the stimulation that Dr. Sears is talking about. Poor Seth!

Anyway, here are some pictures from today's photo session. I was a bit rushed, but at least Seth's not crying!


This one needs a funny caption:


Here he looks about three sheets to the wind:


And here's my smiley, flirty boy:

The Best of Intentions

I had really hoped to post last night with a weekend update, but Seth had other plans. He wanted me to be awake with him until 11:00 p.m. He hasn't been sleeping well at night for the last few nights and I can't figure out why. (Maybe it's the new schedule and daycare--he just needs time to adjust. Or maybe he's not feeling well. Or maybe it's because I had cereal with milk.) Just when you think you've got this parenting thing under control, you learn all over again that you know NOTHING! It's enough to make you crazy.

Our weekend was okay. I was sick on Sunday and William spent most of the weekend with Ed and Ed's family. I missed him! I'm feeling better now, and we're on day 4 of back-to-work. It's going pretty well--nothing major to report. I'll be posting tonight because today is Seth's 3 month birthday! Where does time go? So stay tuned for pictures and more talk!

Back to the Grind

Today went really well, and once I got to my office, it seemed like I had never left. I was busy all day, which helped make the day go quickly. Seth did well, too, and took some pretty long naps. But I think that's because he's picked up yet another cold. His nose was runny when we got home and he felt a bit warm. Isn't that just great. His third cold in 12 weeks. I feel like a horrible mother.

If he spikes a temperature, Ed will stay home with him tomorrow. I'm sure my boss would be thrilled if I took a sick day my second day back to the office. I guess we'll just have to see how tonight goes. Last night Seth slept pretty well. He only woke up once, around 2:15 a.m. And William slept all night, so there is hope!

Hopefully Seth will be fine, and tomorrow will go much like today. I have everything ready for the morning--bottles, the pump, lunch, sippy cups, outfits. I need to take something out of the freezer for dinner tomorrow night. Otherwise, I guess I'm all set.

I think overall, my return to work was really anticlimactic. We've been doing the same morning routine since Seth was born since I've been taking William to daycare--although I need to get up a little bit earlier to get out the door a little bit earlier, but we're only talking 15-30 minutes. So that was no big deal this morning. And since I know the daycare center and Seth's teachers, I felt no apprehension about how Seth would be cared for. And since everyone slept well last night, that was just icing on the cake. And of course, knowing what to expect, having done it all before with William, makes everything so much easier. It just sucks that Seth is sick again. I know that conventional wisdom says that him getting sick now will help him build his immunity for later, but look at William--he's still getting sick all the time. And why am I the exception to the claim that breast-fed babies have stronger immunity than formula fed babies? *Sigh* At least this is a short week, and hopefully we can rest up and take it easy this weekend.

Last Day of Maternity Leave

Today was my last day of maternity leave. Seth has been transitioning to daycare this week, and tomorrow will be his first full day. He's done really well--no different, really, than he was at home. He's taking the bottle pretty well, taking lots of catnaps, and even smiling and cooing and showing off for the teachers. I feel really good about the teachers, and they know me really well, so I'm not feeling any of the anxiety that I remember feeling the night before I went back to work with William. But still, even when you love your job and you know you're doing the right thing for your family, it just sucks to give up your days with your baby so soon.

To make myself feel better, I went shopping today and bought some new clothes. I needed a few pairs of pants and tops since my body isn't quite back to it's pre-pregnancy state. I've lost almost all the weight I gained, but everything is distributed a bit differently now. I'm happy with what I bought, and hopefully these clothes will get me through the fall and maybe even the winter.

Now it's past 9:00 p.m., both boys are asleep, the kitchen is clean, the bottles are made, my lunch is made, William's sippy cups for the morning and the car ride are ready, the pump will be ready after I pump one last time tonight, the kids outfits for tomorrow are ready, my outfit for tomorrow is ready. What the heck am I forgetting? Oh well, I'm too tired to remember anything else. Wish us luck tomorrow!

Adjusting to Two

Laura at Laura's Mommy Journal wanted to know a while back about what it's like to go from one child to two. Laura has twin boys, so she's only ever known two. I think I can assure her that transitioning from one to two is infinitely easier than adjusting to two at once!

When William was born, of course he was the center of our universe. And then when Seth was born, well--let's just say that William is still the center of the universe. Only this time, it's his universe! Seriously, though, the adjustment has been in learning how to take care of Seth while also letting William do the things he wants to do and keeping him out of trouble. William loves to play outside, so Seth has spent lots of time in the sling, or just slung under my arm as I tag along after William. William also loves to play at the sink, but this requires me to stand right beside him to make sure he doesn't make a huge mess with the water. So Seth either hangs out in his bouncy seat, or again, slung under my arm while William plays at the sink.

This reminds me of a funny story. Seth needed a diaper change once while William was playing at the sink. William had been doing so well with the sprayer, keeping it in the sink and not letting water get outside the sink. So in my complacency, I thought it would be fine if I just dashed into the next room and quickly changed Seth's diaper. I heard William laughing and saying "Wow-wee!" as I changed Seth's diaper. And when I got back to the kitchen, he had sprayed water everywhere--it was on the counters and the floors and all over the greenhouse window over the sink. I was so mad, but it was my own fault. So I guess that's an example of how having two kids in the picture makes things a little more challenging.

Anyway, we've had to adjust in lots of other ways, too. William was so attached to me before Seth, but that has definitely changed. Ed does so much more with and for William now, and that has strengthened the bond between the two of them. So that has been a really positive adjustment! It's also a lot different when we're out somewhere. It used to be that we could take turns "taking it easy" or eating or talking to people. But now, we have to do man-to-man coverage, so going out is a lot more challenging.

Overall, though, it hasn't been too difficult to make those adjustments. Going from none to one was a much bigger adjustment than one to two. (So I can't imagine what it's like going from none to two, Laura!) With the second child, you still basically do everything the same, because you don't want to change things too much for the first child, so the second child just gets dragged along for the ride.

The worst moments are definitely when both kids need you at the same time, or when they're pulling you in opposite directions. When you're trying to nurse and your older child is putting the cat food in the washing machine. Or when you're trying to read to your older child and the baby will not settle down and stop crying. But you learn to do a lot of things while simultaneously nursing your baby, and you learn that a baby never died from crying.

And then the best moments are when you hear your toddler say to your crying baby, "It's okay, Sef. Mommy's coming." Or when your toddler runs right past you when you get to daycare to pick him up and goes straight to the baby in the car seat and says, with so much excitement in his voice, "Hi Sef! Hi!" Or when the baby is crying but settles right down when we go into big brother's room to watch and listen to big brother playing with his trains.

We went out somewhere one day (I can't for the life of me remember where we were or what we were doing), and a woman stopped and said, "You have a lovely family." And it really hit me then that I have a family--not my parents or siblings or grandparents, but my family. And I know that when it was just Ed and me, we were a family. And of course William and Ed and I were a family. But with two kids, the feeling of family has just become much more poignant. So the transition to two has been relatively painless, and more joyful than I ever expected.

Seth's BFF

Seth has discovered his hands and likes to slurp on them. He's also reaching out to touch things--mostly his new BFF, the Toucan on his rain forest bouncy seat. He luuuuuuves the bird and smiles at him, tugs on him, bangs him, and laughs out loud at him. He'll check out the monkey from time to time, and he likes the lizard that moves up and down. But the bird is IT! Here's a short video. Turn the volume down so you don't here my annoying voice. Every time I replay my videos, I always think, "next time, I won't say anything so you can't hear my voice." And yet, I can't seem to shut up. Anyway, enjoy!

The Simple Pleasures of Summer

William stayed home on Monday, and after his nap, he wanted to play outside. After playing with his diggers in the sandbox and mowing the lawn with his bubble mower, he decided he wanted to cool off with the hose. How could I say no? He joyfully played with the hose for almost an hour. I was able to take a ton of pictures and I played with all the camera settings. Most of them turned out pretty well for once. I still have the issue of the camera focusing on the background or foreground instead of on William sometimes. But overall, I was happy.






As far as our summer colds go, we are all recovering. William so far hasn't gotten any worse--just a goopy nose. Seth developed a cough, but it didn't turn into Croup, thank goodness! His nose is still goopy, and he's been pretty tough these last couple of days. He alternates between adorable, smiley, and content, and crying, crying, and crying. I'd assume it's because of the cold, but it seems like it's more gastrointestinal discomfort. And I started eating dairy again over the weekend, so now I don't know what to think. It seems to be getting harder to get him to fall asleep, and he cries the hardest usually when it's time to sleep. So maybe he's just getting ornery. Here's a picture of THE HOLD--the only way I can get him to fall asleep now. (Excuse the poor picture quality!)

Of course, he had to prove me wrong this morning. He dozed off in my arms after nursing so I burped him and then went ahead and swaddled him and put him in his bassinet. He was awake and looking around and then he drifted off to sleep. I think it's definitely a timing issue, but damn if I can figure it out! LOL.

Hahn Household--Sick Again

This time it's Seth, William, and me. William's nose started running on Friday, my throat started feeling sore on Saturday, and Seth's nose got runny on Saturday night. So far, it seems to have hit me the worst. I've had a fever off and on today, and a bit of a cough. I just hope it stays that way. I'm scared that Seth will get Croup, but no use crying over milk that hasn't spilled yet, right? I can't believe Seth has gotten 2 colds already, and he isn't even 11 weeks old.

Ed took William out to breakfast this morning and then to Chuck E. Cheese to give me some rest. And Seth has been a real trooper. He's sleeping quite a bit, and when he's up, he's happy and cheerful. William's cold doesn't seem to be bothering him too much, other than the annoyance of having his nose wiped all the time. I'll probably keep him home tomorrow, but we'll see how tonight goes. I gave William a dose of Motrin just in case.

Nothing sucks worse than being sick and having to take care of sick kids. Well, maybe a lot of things suck worse, but right here, right now, this is really not fun.

Happy July Fourth! Now the Countdown Begins.

Happy 4th of July! We had a good day, spent with Ed's family, eating crabs and drinking beer. (Well, I drank non-alcoholic beer, but it tasted pretty damn good!) Ed's father has a little canon that he shoots off every year, so William really enjoyed that. Seth had a good day, too, smiling and cooing for his great-grandparents, and letting his grandmother lull him to sleep in her arms. Today reminded me that I am blessed with really great in-laws.

Now the countdown begins to the end of my maternity leave. I have one full week left, and then I'll start easing Seth into daycare starting July 14. My first full day of work is July 17. Seth will be 12 weeks old then. How did 12 weeks fly by so quickly? My maternity leave has been so busy, and yet, I have accomplished very little. But I accomplished the most important thing, which was spending time bonding with Seth. It makes me sad to think about not getting to spend my days with him. He is growing and changing and learning new things so quickly.

On the positive side, though, I love the teachers in the daycare's infant room (he's going to the same daycare as William), and I know he'll be loved and well taken care of. He's very social and outgoing, so I think he'll adapt very well. It will probably be a relief to him not to have to endure the longer car rides, too! (And I'll be saving a ton of money in gas, not to mention the environment! On the days that I take William to daycare, we travel 80 miles, and Seth is in the car for about 3 hours--1 and 1/2 each round trip.) And since we've been doing the basic morning routine since we brought Seth home, that part of the equation really shouldn't be any trouble. Actually, the mornings have been much easier than I thought they would be. The only difference will be that I'll need to wear work clothes, instead of shorts and t-shirts. I guess getting the bottles and gear together for Seth will take a little time, too, but if I'm organized, I'll have that stuff ready the night before.

Anyway, what worries me most is the going-back-to-work part. I'm not sure I'm ready to get back into productive work mode--to get organized and focus and re-dedicate myself to my job. I don't want to go back and have my head only halfway in. But I don't feel motivated to be the kind of employee I want to be. I can only hope that once I get there, my motivation will come back. Of course, getting more sleep would help that. And in a way, I haven't felt very focused since William was born, anyway. But that makes me feel guilty. I want to be better at what I do. I want to give 110% at work. But at this point, I don't feel capable of that yet. Maybe that's just a cop out. If I want to do better, I should do better. Period. There--pep talk over!

When William was about 6-8 weeks old, I felt like I really needed to get back to work. Like I needed to turn his care over to people who knew what they were doing. I thought that I could never be a stay-at-home mom. But then by week 12, I wanted more time home with him. I was just starting to hit a little groove, and I was much more confident that I could handle staying at home. And I've had the same feelings with Seth. A few weeks ago, I thought I'd fall apart if I had to stay home with both kids. But now, I'm confident that I'd do a pretty good job staying home! I have no doubts that it would be really hard--probably harder than working outside the home full time. And I do like my job a lot and I get a lot of personal satisfaction from my work. My job and my boss are family-friendly, I leave my work at work, I get lots of time off and my hours are more conducive to raising kids than most. But I really just want more time with my babies. So I really hope to make the most of next week. If I'm not blogging much, it's because I'm soaking up as much Seth and William as I can!

Wordless Wednesday