William's First Visit with the Dentist

William had his first dentist appointment today. I would have taken a picture, but he ended up lying on me during the appointment. Initially, he was scared, but he got over it really quickly, and then he did great! The dental hygienist examined his teeth and then gave him a cleaning. She showed him everything she was going to do, and let him touch the rubber cleaning tip and watch it spin. She showed him the squirter and the suction straw. He has no cavities, and the dentist said his teeth look really good in terms of position and how they're coming in. So good news! We did get a slight admonishment to do a better job with brushing. The hygienist showed William how to properly brush his teeth, so we'll see how he does at home. All in all, it was a good experience. After William's cleaning, I got mine cleaned, and then William and I had lunch at Subway. He went back to school (not happily, but that's to be expected) and I went back to work. I'm very proud of my big boy!

Phone Photo Friday

Like his older brother, Seth loves to play at the kitchen sink. Unfortunately for him (but fortunately for me), this sink does not have a sprayer, so he has to be a little more creative. But he doesn't miss what he doesn't know! On Wednesday, Seth had his 15-month well visit. (He's 16 months now, but who's counting?) He weighs 21 and 1/2 lbs., and is 31 inches tall. Interestingly enough, he's exactly the same size William was at his age. (They're both small--10th to 15th percentile in weight, and 35th percentile in height.) And yet, he looks (to me) so much chubbier than William did at this age. He's pretty close developmentally to where William was at the same age, although I think he has more words. William enunciated a little more clearly than Seth does, however. It's neat to compare the two, but they are definitely two very different boys. They seem to love each other a lot, and William goes out of his way for Seth quite often. He has a protective instinct when it comes to Seth that both warms my heart and cracks me up. A couple of weeks ago, we had gone to the Alexandria waterfront, and were watching a street performer play his guitar and sing. Seth and William were enjoying the music from a few feet away, and when Seth started to get closer, William held him back. It was so sweet! I hope William will always feel that way, and that Seth will always appreciate his older brother!

Shoot--I Forgot!

"Potty Progress" was my 500th post! Cue the lights! Cue the confetti!

So much for pontificating about my blog and why I keep blogging and how I feel compelled to keep it going. I guess potty training is as fitting a topic as any for a "mommy blogger's" 500th post.

Potty Progress

William has come a long, long way in the whole potty training department. I think I mentioned before that he has been great with Number 1. He's almost at the point where he's doing it all by himself, and hardly even tells me when he needs to go. Number 2, on the other hand, has been a bit more of a struggle. For a while, he was just going in his underwear. Not pleasant. I never got angry with him, but I repeatedly told him that he could do it in the potty, or in a diaper. So he finally started telling me that he wanted a diaper. But he would do it in a quiet, kind of sheepish way, which I took as a good sign.

Then, on Friday, when he was home with Ed, he told Ed he needed to go, and he went to the bathroom, and he used the toilet. Just like that! He called me at work to tell me and I was so excited! And he was so excited. He did it again later in the afternoon, and called me again! Wow--we're over the hump! Or so I thought.

On Sunday morning, both Ed and I were home, and he told me he needed a diaper. I reminded him that he had already used the potty, and he could do it again! He insisted on a diaper. I told him to go into the bathroom, and I stalled, thinking he might go ahead and use the toilet. No such luck. After stalling for a while, the moment passed, and he said he didn't need to go. Later, when my mom and I went shopping and he was home with Ed, he used the potty. WTF??? I started getting a big complex. On Sunday night, I was home, he needed to go, and wanted a diaper. I decided to just play it his way, and I gave him a diaper without comment.

Then, on Tuesday, when we got home from school, I took Seth upstairs while I changed my clothes, and William stayed downstairs to play. When we came back down, William was in the bathroom, with the door locked. Uh-oh! After a minute, I knocked on the door, and I heard some scrambling. William opened the door with a big smile on his face and said, "Look Mommy! I pooped on the potty!" And sure enough, he had. He did the same thing yesterday after work. Yay! Now, I know better than to think we're out of the woods. Two steps up and one step back, right? But it definitely feels like we have turned a corner.

This whole potty training thing definitely did not go down as I had envisioned it. It's so hard to know when to push and when to follow their lead. It's a cliche, but every child is different, and I think it's one of those things where you really have to follow your mommy instinct. I wouldn't say that potty training has been a struggle. But it has been a lot more choppy than I expected. You think you're making progress, and then you have a setback, and then you think you've turned a corner, and then you're moving backwards. Hopefully this will be my last potty report, at least for William. Potty training is such a consuming milestone! Even though we might not be completely out of the woods yet, and even though there are many more challenges ahead (butt wiping, public toilets, no potty in sight) and even though I have one more kid to go, it feels great to have this milestone under my belt!

Happy Birthday Ed!

Ed turned 32 today. William helped me make a cake when we got home from work. And Ed and I had already decided that we would eat dinner after the boys went to bed. I had planned to get our dinner all ready to go while I made something for the boys. But Seth was super cranky and had other ideas. So poor Ed had to cook his own birthday dinner while I gave the boys their bath and put them to bed. We sang Happy Birthday and William Ed blew out the candles before the boys went up for their bath. And I managed to grab the camera and take a few pictures.

Ed was probably also disappointed that his birthday present from me didn't arrive in time for his birthday. I got him the Roku Digital Video Player. You can instantly watch Netflix movies on your TV. Sounds cool. But we'll have to wait a few more days to test it out. I think it's okay, though. The boys got Ed a remote-control helicopter, which he opened on Sunday (because William can't keep a secret!), so he's been enjoying playing with that. Hopefully, despite the snags, he had a good birthday. I mean, come on--he got cake! What more could anyone want?

Digging Through the Archives

I'm quickly approaching Post #500, and I actually thought that I missed it tonight when my counter said I had 501 posts. But then I remembered that I have a handful of posts that I started and never finished, or just never published. And I don't want those to count toward my total, so I decided to go through them. I found a few good ones that I thought I would post here.

Here's one from September 11, 2006:

What I've Learned since Becoming a Mom

That breast pads make great coasters.

That your baby will sleep like a champ when you really need to go somewhere and have to leave by a certain time.

That just when you think you have things under control, you don't.

That you really can function on 4 hours of sleep a night.

That you can do a LOT of things with one arm (while you're holding the baby with the other arm, like laundry, make a sandwich, go to the bathroom, wash your hand, dust, vacuum, unload the dishwasher, etc. etc.)

That you can never have too many bottle parts or breast pump parts! (Ed says they multiply on the kitchen counter overnight! They're taking over!)

That everything is "just a phase."

This one is from July 9, 2007. It would have been a great post if I had finished it! I could definitely think of a few things to add to it, now that I've been there again with Seth. In fact, I think I will add to it. The new stuff is in brackets.

How to Be 13-Going-on-14 Months Old

First, you have to fuss, whine, and point a lot. If you don't get what you want, drop to the ground immediately, or throw your head back. (This might hurt, but it's worth it.) You still might not get what you want, but you can usually get more attention this way.

Say a few words and the grown-ups will love it. They especially love it if you make animal sounds, like "woo-woo" for a dog, or "moo" for a cow. Clap your hands, too--they love it and will almost always clap back.

When your mom isn't looking, find something really cool to play with, like toilet paper, or the toilet bowl brush, or newspaper, or the tubing from your nebulizer.

[Throw any folded laundry that you come across on the ground. It's especially fun if you find an entire laundry basket full of folded laundry.]

[Pitch a fit every time your mom tries to change you diaper. But when you dad does it, act like an angel.]

[Pull your socks off the minute your shoes come off.]

[There's a lot of cool stuff in garbage cans. Investigate their contents whenever you can.]

[eal phones and real remote controls are awesome. The fake ones are stupid--don't bother.]

This one was written on August 26, 2007--almost 2 years ago exactly!

Pregnant!

I found out last night that I am pregnant! Oh my goodness. What have we done? I'm very excited and very scared at the same time. It's very early, and anything can happen, so I'm trying not to get too ahead of myself. We don't plan to tell the family until at least 8 weeks. I think the due date would be April 30. So it's very likely we'll have another May baby. In many ways, this is a good thing. I already have maternity clothes for those seasons. And it's a great time to be off of work, and a good season for a new baby. But it might be tough because I"ll want to take William to the pool, but it will probably be really hard with a newborn. But maybe this baby will be more portable than William was. Maybe this baby will sleep anywhere and will love the car. We'll just have to wait and see.

And there was one post that I started to write while I was on maternity leave that was titled, "Maternity Leave is NOT Time Off!" It was a good title with a lot of promise, but the actual post turned out to be mundane--just a rundown of a typical day for us. I may go ahead and publish it, just to have it for my own recollection. Because, after all, this blog is mostly for my recollection!

I've bought some time, now, before my 500th post. Four more posts, and I'll be there! Now, if I can just remember . . .

Phone Photo Friday

I know Laura is out of town, but since I missed last Friday's Phone Photo Friday, I wanted to be sure to participate today. These pictures were actually taken last week. We made a half batch of chocolate chip cookies. William loved the raw cookie dough. But the cookies themselves? Not so much. That's okay--he's still a great helper in the kitchen! Seth, of course, couldn't be left out. So I had two chairs pushed against the kitchen counter.


And speaking of Seth, here he is, enjoying (and I mean ENJOYING) an Oreo cookie. Need I say more?

The boys' daycare has been closed this week, Wednesday-Friday, so Ed and I have taken turns staying home. Ed took them both to Chuck-e-Cheese on Wednesday and said he wouldn't do that again until Seth is older. I took them both to McDonald's yesterday morning for breakfast and then to the grocery store. I swore I'm done taking both of them to the grocery store. Seth was a terror. I had to hold him almost the whole time because all he wanted to do was run around the aisles and take everything off of shelves that he could.

He is such a different kid than William. At home, his newest delight is trying to walk down the stairs. He climbs to the landing and then waits for me to notice him, and then he gets this devilish grin on his face and reaches up for the banister and attempts to take a step down. I end up holding his hands so he can walk down. When he gets to the bottom, he immediately turns around to go back upstairs.

My mom (who is visiting us this weekend) asked me what Seth likes to play with. He's not into trucks and cars as much as William was at his age (and still is!). He's not interested in puzzles. He doesn't love books at this point. (He loves pulling them off shelves, but reading them? Not so much.) He likes drawing, he likes climbing. (His new trick in the playroom is that he figured out how to climb on top of the playhouse--hours of fun!) He likes Tinker Toys (surprisingly enough). He loves playing outside--mostly with the push broom. He's not that interested in the sand box, unlike William who, at that age, was ALL about the sand box. I guess I'd characterize Seth as being more physical than William. Maybe it's just the climbing that throws me for a loop, since William was never a climber.

One cute thing that Seth has been doing recently involves my computer. My computer is in our bedroom, and Seth loves climbing onto the chair and sitting at the computer and playing with the mouse and the keyboard and the monitor. My current screensaver is a picture of William and Seth--the one where William is laughing at Seth eating an Oreo. Seth LOVES seeing this picture. When the computer comes on and he sees it, he claps and says, "Yay!" Then he'll point to William and say "William!" (It sounds more like "Meen-me.") And then he points to himself in the picture and says, "Eat, eat." For some reason, this never gets old. (Or at least, it hasn't yet.)

William, meanwhile, has been great. The drop-off at daycare on Monday and Tuesday of this week went great--not a single tear shed. He's doing great peeing on the potty. Still won't poop on the potty, but he will ask me for a diaper, so accidents have been minimal. He's been engaging in lots of imaginative play at home--mostly with his cars and trucks (of course!), but I love to hear him playing. He chats to/with himself non-stop as he plays, and he'll say things like, "Hey Truck! Get out of my way!" "Oh, okay. Are you going to the library? You are? Okay, let's go!" He'll say the same kinds of things to Seth sometimes. "Here Sef--do you want this car? You do? Okay, here you go!" He's been waking up super-early again--around 5:15 a.m.--and getting into bed with us. This morning, he fell back to sleep around 6:00 a.m. and slept until after 7:00 a.m. If I could just get him to go back to sleep in his bed!

So that's our news. As I mentioned, my mom is visiting this weekend, so we're looking forward to that. William has a birthday party that we'll go to tomorrow, and hopefully, Mom and I will have time to fit in some fall-clothes shopping for William. There's always so much I want to do when Mom comes, and never enough time. In the meantime, Ed is home with the boys today, so I'll come home to a clean neat house. That's always nice. Here's to a great weekend!

Sleep

I am destined never to get a good night's sleep again. Or at least, not until my kids are grown and out of the house. This past weekend, I had the opportunity to get not one, but two uninterrupted nights of sleep. And yet, I slept worse away than I do at home. On Friday, I took a decongestant which kept me tossing and turning all night. And on Saturday, we went to bed late and I woke up at the usual 5:15 a.m., ears trained to listen for the first sounds of stirring from the kids.

As my loyal blog readers know, William has always been a light sleeper, waking often throughout the night. And it hasn't helped that I'm a huge wimp and never made a serious CIO attempt. Seth has been a better sleeper than William, overall, but when something is bothering him, he wakes up quite often. For the past 2 or 3 months, William has been sleeping through the night with no problems. But Seth has been up and down quite a bit. In recent days, William has been waking up at 3:30 a.m., or 4:30 a.m., or 5:15-5:30 a.m., and he hasn't really gone back to sleep.

On the rare days that both boys have slept well, I've been waking in the wee hours of the morning. Take last night, for example. Seth went down around 7:45 p.m., and William fell asleep around 8:30 p.m. I went to bed around 9:30 p.m. (very early for me!). Seth actually slept through the night--until 6:00 a.m. I, unfortunately, woke up at 4:30. I managed to fall back asleep, but William woke up at 5:15 and got in bed with us. Getting in bed with us, however, involves him lying directly on top of me, and then squirming around incessantly as he tries to get into a comfortable position. Then, ten minutes later, he wants chocolate milk. This morning, he wanted chocolate milk at 5:30 a.m., and I get up at 6:00 a.m. anyway. So I got it for him and settled back into bed, thinking I could still doze for at least 20 minutes. But then Seth woke up at 6:00 a.m. I went into his room and we snuggled and snoozed in the rocker in his room for a while before I finally got up to shower at 6:15 a.m.

Inevitably, when Seth has a good night, William wakes up. And vice versa. And when the both sleep, I wake up. Last night, I got almost 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep, which might be a record since William was born. But I know better than to start envisioning nights of peaceful sleep. Those nights are few and far between, and probably will remain so until far into the future. In the meantime, I'll take them when I can, and I'll try to appreciate those sleepy, middle-of-the-night and early morning cuddles while I still get them. I'll try to appreciate the fact that early morning wake-ups mean more time spent together, even if that time involves me showering with the door open while both boys talk to me and ransack the bathroom. I'll appreciate the multi-tasking skills I've developed as I get myself showered, dressed, hair blow-dried, and makeup applied, while simultaneously getting the boys dressed and picking up after they've emptied drawers and cabinets and bookshelves.

You may be wondering what Ed has been doing all this time. Long ago, we established that he would not get up with the boys in the middle of the night because he believed we should just let them cry and I couldn't do that. And then, of course, most times, Daddy just won't do. It has to be Mommy. This has been less the case with Seth, so Ed will often get Seth when he wakes up as I get into the shower. William usually sits in the bathroom while I shower if he's awake. Then Ed takes his turn to shower, and I finish getting ready. Lately, I've been getting the boys dressed and taking them downstairs because they pitch such a fit if I go downstairs without them. Then Ed picks up the mess they've made upstairs and comes down as I'm feeding them breakfast and getting the day's stuff together. Ed puts on their shoes and socks and takes them to the car while I gather everything up and throw dishes in the sink. It's actually a good system!

So, in short, sleep eludes me, but hopefully it will not always be so. I've learned I can accomplish a lot on very little sleep. I think the greatest invention ever will involve allowing the human body to function well on less sleep. Wouldn't that be awesome!

Awesome, awesome, awesome

Our weekend was perfect. The bed and breakfast was cozy and comfortable and inviting. The hike to Big Devil Stairs was invigorating (we saw a black bear and two deer!), the food was amazing, and the company was priceless. It was everything we had hoped.

Meanwhile, the boys had a great time at their grandparents. Seth slept through the night both nights! (The little stinker.) William asked us several times if we had a good time on our trip. (So thoughtful!) And neither one seemed even slightly upset that we had been gone for two nights.

Ed and I hiked, went antiquing, played Scrabble on the porch, drank wine, ate at a 5-star restaurant, and laughed and relaxed and remembered what it was like when it was just us. The weekend was expensive, but it was worth every penny. I can't wait to do it again!

Happy 5th Anniversary Ed

On this day five years ago, Ed and I were married. We had a small wedding--about 75 guests--at the Embassy Suites Hotel in Old Town, Alexandria. The ceremony took place in the hotel's atrium, where they have a gazebo and a water fountain and lots of leafy trees. The reception took place in a banquet room upstairs.

The night before the wedding, we had had our dress rehearsal at a restaurant in Old Town. After the dinner, I got together with my friends and Ed got together with his friends. We decided not to hang out with each other. We also decided that I would sleep in my mom's hotel room, rather than in the condo that we shared at that time. I tossed and turned all night, and got up bright and early. My mom and I and one of my bridesmaids went to a salon to have our hair done. I had forgotten my veil, though, but my brother came to our rescue and managed to get my veil from mom's hotel room and bring it to the salon. Whew! After we were all gussied up, we went back to the hotel and my bridesmaids met me in my mom's room where we put on makeup and let the photographer take a million pictures. The photographer had already been down in the atrium taking pictures of Ed's family. When the time came, the hotel's wedding coordinator came and got us and took us on a long, circuitous walk to lobby, all to prevent the groom and wedding guests from seeing us before the wedding began.

We were married at 11:30 a.m., and had a brunch buffet reception immediately following the ceremony. The ceremony itself was very short. Ed and I had written our own vows--well technically, we culled them together from various sources; they weren't original--and our friend Becky, who I went to high school with, performed the ceremony. Our officiant was another friend, Craig, who works for the city of Alexandria and was able to get a judge's order to legally marry us. Our ceremony included two readings. One was "On Marriage" by Kahlil Gibran:

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

The other was the Apache Marriage Blessing:

Now you will feel no rain,
For each of you will be shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
For each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there is no more loneliness,
For each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two bodies,
But there is only one life before you.
Go now to your dwelling place,
To enter into the days of your togetherness.
And may your days be good and long upon the earth.
Amen.

For music, we hired a guitar and cellist duo. I don't remember the music I had chosen for the parents' and grandparents' walk down the aisle. And I don't remember what the bridesmaids walked down the aisle to. In fact, I really don't remember the music much at all, which was disappointing because I spent a lot of time thinking about the music, and I really love the sound of the guitar and cello together. Also, I had not chosen a song for Ed and his groomsmen to walk down the aisle to because I did not anticipate them walking down the aisle. At the rehearsal, we had agreed that they would walk to the gazebo from the side. But somehow that instruction was lost amidst the excitement of the day, and the groom and groomsmen ended up walking down the aisle. My mom walked me down the aisle and "gave me away." I chose Prelude in C by Bach as my processional. I really had wanted to walk down the aisle to "Little Martha" by the Allman Brothers. But I couldn't find sheet music for the musicians in time. Oh well!

We had four kids in our wedding party--my youngest niece and my cousin's youngest son were our ring bearers (ages 4 and 5), and my older niece (age 7) was the flower girl, and my cousin's older son (age 9) was an usher. I had four bridesmaids--my 3 best friends from high school and my best friend from college--and Ed had four groomsmen--two bandmates, his brother-in-law, and his cousin. I think there may have been some hurt feelings that I didn't ask my two sisters or Ed's two sisters to be in the wedding (I don't think my two sisters really cared, and were maybe even relieved, and I don't even think Ed's sisters really cared, but I think Ed's mother and grandmother were very taken aback because to them, family is everything), but I have been through so much with my girlfriends, and I was in all of their weddings, and I couldn't accommodate 8 girls in the wedding party, so I made the tough decision. I'm so glad I did, because it was perfect!

During the ceremony, the hotel did not turn off the water fountain that was right next to the gazebo, which annoys me, but I don't think I thought about it at the time. I noticed it when I was watching the video. (A family friend videotaped the ceremony for us. I thought I might make an edited wedding video afterward, but I didn't have the time nor the talent, and my computer didn't have the space!) I think the guests could still hear everything. The one funny thing that happened during the ceremony was that my friend never told the guests to sit down after I walked down the aisle. So everyone stood up through the whole ceremony! Again, I hadn't noticed, and only knew after someone mentioned it later. Luckily, as I said, the ceremony was very short.

At the reception, we sat at a table with my bridesmaids and their husbands. We had done "assigned seating," which worked out pretty well. We ate typical brunch food and I think I sipped a mimosa. Ed had put together a jazz ensemble to play during the reception, but we didn't have formal dancing. Ed hates dancing, which was one of the reasons we chose to have a brunch wedding. I didn't want to have a party-like wedding where I either danced without my husband, or watched everyone else dance. Ed did join the band to play one song--Autumn Leaves. His family loves to hear and watch him play, and my friends and family enjoyed seeing and hearing him play, too.

We cut the cake and did not smear icing on each other's faces. I can't remember if I threw my bouquet or not. My flowers were pink and green hydrangeas.

The cake was three layers, with different fillings on each layer. I think one layer was lemon with raspberry filling. And one layer was vanilla with strawberry filling.

After the reception, we went to our free, upgraded hotel room and took a nap. The hotel had provided chocolate covered strawberries and champagne, so we definitely enjoyed those. In the late afternoon/early evening, we met up with my family and had an early dinner. Then we met up with some of our friends later that night for a second dinner. On Sunday, we left for the airport and our week-long honeymoon at a dude ranch in Colorado! I vaguely remember quickly dropping stuff off at our condo, but I also think that Ed's parents were responsible for getting the majority of our stuff back to our house.

It was a very nice wedding, and one that suited our personalities very well. There wasn't a lot of pomp and circumstance, not a lot of primping or fretting. I wish I had been a little more on top of the photography--making sure certain shots were taken. But we still got plenty of wonderful pictures. We didn't go into debt for our wedding (something I'm very proud of!), and we made all of our decisions based on what we wanted and what was important to us. Thankfully, our parents were very hands-off, not making any demands or requests of us.

It's fun to look back on that day, to try to remember what I felt and what I thought. Where did I think we would be in five years? We both knew we wanted kids, and we knew we'd try in the not-too-distant future. But we also wanted to enjoy at least a little time with just the two of us. I don't think we thought much about what kind of parents we'd be. I think I assumed Ed would defer to me a lot more than he does! LOL. (He probably didn't think I'd try to boss him around quite so much!) I guess I also thought he'd be more of a baby person than he turned out to be, but it turns out he's not very comfortable around babies. (He's much better once they start walking and talking!) I knew he had a penchant for keeping things neat, but I had no idea he'd be the one picking up all the time, the one who vacuums all the time, the one who only rarely complains about it!

But on my wedding day, I also had no idea how much joy I would feel when I watch Ed hug the boys, how much pride I would feel when Ed gets promoted and praised at work, how much comfort I feel with Ed in charge of our finances, and how much love I feel when I talk to Ed two or three times a day, not necessarily because there's anything to say, but just because. Our relationship has been challenged more than I ever thought it would. But just through the mere act of survival, we are growing stronger. I am learning that I can dwell on his perceived shortcomings (and he can certainly dwell on mine!), or I can celebrate and benefit from his strengths--his work ethic, his sense of humor, his lack of pretentiousness, his loyalty. It's long past time for us to be a couple again, to do those things together that we enjoy (whatever those things were!).

It's hard to remember what our first year of marriage was like, without kids. What the heck did we do? Little did we know how much our lives would change. Even when you think you know your life will change when you have kids, you really have no idea. The first two years of our marriage were easy. We didn't fight or argue very much. We didn't get on each other's nerves. We enjoyed time together and time apart. We didn't resent each other.

The last three years of our marriage have been hard. It has taken us a while to find our groove, to work together, to truly appreciate each other's strengths. I never thought that I would have to make a conscious decision to make my husband a priority. I thought it would always be natural--a given--that I would consider his needs and want to spend time with him and that we would always be on the same wave. That was before the demands of motherhood and life practically sucked me dry. Time is short and we both work full time and our kids are young and needy. We have chores that need doing and friends and family that need tending. At the end of the day, we take each other for granted, because we both know that we will always be here. But we both deserve better than that. And the boys deserve better. I want them to see on a daily basis how much I love their father, and how much I respect and value and appreciate him. I want them to see us as the equal partners that we are.

I am very grateful for the last five years of my marriage--for the good times and bad times alike. But I'm really looking forward to the next five. I know that they will be equally challenging as the boys grow older, but I'm ready to start a new chapter in my marriage--the one where we truly nurture our relationship and we help each other to be better parents and better people. The one where we have regular date nights and where we choose each other over other demands on our time--demands that can certainly wait to be filled. The one where we express appreciation for all the ways we make life better for each other--both big and small. The one where we compliment each other more, and nag each other less.

Even though Ed doesn't read my blog, I want to thank him for being there for me, no matter what. For hearing me out, for stepping in at just the right times, for picking up and vacuuming and paying the bills and keeping up the yard. For loving the boys and for loving me. For making me laugh. For planning our anniversary weekend. Five years is just the beginning! I know we have so much more to look forward to. I am so fortunate to have you for a husband, and could not imagine a life any other way--could not imagine wanting anything different. Happy anniversary. I love you always!

Weekend Getaway

Ed and I will be celebrating our 5th anniversary on Friday. Last year, we had talked about getting away for our anniversary. I promised Ed we would do something special. I was ambitious enough to think that we could maybe do a 5-day trip. But then time and events and finances conspired against us, and we never planned our vacation. I don't have enough leave, for starters, and we booked a long weekend at the beach in September for the family, so that consumed part of what little extra cash we have on hand for such things. And really, 5 days was a little too ambitious. First of all, we couldn't afford to pay someone to watch the kids for 5 days and take a vacation, and second of all, I'm not ready to be away from the boys for that long.

So time passed, and I figured we would just have a nice meal at a restaurant while Ed's parents watched the boys. But then several weeks ago, Ed's parents and sister offered to watch the boys for the weekend so we could go somewhere. And Ed gladly accepted their offer and booked a room at a fancy bed and breakfast in a small Virginia town, close to the Shenandoah National Forest, and made reservations at a very well know, 5-star restaurant for dinner Saturday night. We have two nights to ourselves, two glorious mornings to sleep in, two gourmet breakfasts, one dinner that will just about break the bank, and 42 hours of peace and uninterrupted conversations and leisurely eaten meals and no demands or tantrums or whining. I can't wait!

Of course, a very small part of me hates to be away from the boys, even for 42 hours. I will miss them, and will be so eager to see them by Sunday afternoon. But we all need this, and will be a better family for it. Ed and I will get desperately needed time alone, Ed's parents will get to be with the kids without their controlling mother around, and William and Seth will learn that Mommy and Daddy are people, too, and will get to spend precious time with their grandparents and aunt and uncle. It's a win for everyone.

Now, if I can just remember to pack everything the kids and the grandparents will need for the weekend, not to mention everything Ed and I will need. Being organized is so not my forte!

Our First Throw-Away-the-Underwear Kind of Accident

I started this post by elaborating on the title quite a bit, but then I thought about William reading this when he's a teenager and decided to start over. So let's just say that while William has been great with using the toilet for Number 1, using it for Number 2 just isn't working out for him. And using his underwear just isn't working out for me. Hopefully we'll get over this little bump in the road soon.

In the meantime, I pulled out the heavy-duty cleaners tonight and cleaned my bathroom. I've been doing the green thing with baking soda, vinegar, hydrogen peroxide, borax, and lemon juice for several weeks now. But the feeling of germy-ness just started getting to me. I feel like I'm cheating, but I'll get over it.

In other news, I took Seth to the doctor today to have his ears checked. Sure enough, there's fluid in his right ear. The doctor gave me a prescription for antibiotics and told me to wait two days before filling it to see if it resolves itself on its own. But I went ahead and filled it, for two reasons. One, I doubt I'll be able to notice in two days whether or not the infection has resolved itself, since I wasn't sure that he even had an infection when I brought him in. And two, Ed and I are going away this weekend for our anniversary (woo-hoo! Fodder for another post) and the boys are staying with Ed's parents and sister and BIL, and I want them as healthy and happy as possible while they're there.

I got the bathroom cleaned, a load of laundry going in the washing machine, and Ed downstairs cleaning the kitchen. Not too shabby for a Monday night. I'm still feeling terrible, so I'm off to take some Advil, drink some hot tea, read a little, and then to bed. The clean laundry in the basket staring at me can wait until tomorrow!

Redeeming, Sun-soaked Weekend

We managed to have a very nice, low-key-but-still-fun weekend. After last weekend and a rather lame week (which mostly consisted of all of us catching a cold and me trying not to lose my temper every 5 minutes and feeling exhausted at the end of each and every day), I'm very grateful for the change of pace! We're still all fighting our colds (William seems to have been affected the least, thank goodness, but now I'm worried about Seth's ears), and I didn't get much done in the way of cleaning or cooking. But I'm not too concerned.

The highlight of our weekend was our trip to the pool, both Saturday and today! We've only been swimming once since the fated swimming lessons, if you can believe that. And now that the weather has turned flat-out hot, I decided that August will be our month for swimming. Fortunately, William had a great time at the pool, although he did tell me repeatedly that he didn't want to go underwater. And on Saturday, he absolutely did not want to go in the big pool. But today, after about an hour in the baby pool, he decided that he did want to swim in the big pool. We stayed in the shallow end, where he walked around on his own (mostly along the edge, but that's fine!), and after watching Seth jump into the pool with me holding his hands, he decided he'd like to jump in, too. It was a little tricky because Ed wasn't there, so I had to hold Seth while also holding William's hands as he jumped in the pool. But we made it work. And I was very happy to see him enjoying it! Seth, meanwhile, ended up underwater several times, but was none the worse for wear. He loves the water and has no idea that he can't swim. I predict that he'll be swimming laps around William by the time he's 3!

As for the rest of the weekend, we spent a lot of time outside in the hot sun. William had a birthday party on Saturday at a nature center featuring a big pond. William enjoyed seeing the fish and turtles in the pond, and the frogs, snakes, salamanders, fish, and turtles in the center's aquariums. Ed and I took a few walks with the boys, too. On Saturday afternoon, we took them in the wagon to the pond in our neighborhood and the small playground next to it. And tonight, after swimming, the boys played outside while Ed grilled salmon. By the time they came in at 6:00 p.m. to eat, they were both completely exhausted. Seth ate and ate and ate (his new thing at mealtime when we let him out of his booster seat is to climb into William's chair and eat the rest of William's dinner, and tonight he then climbed into my chair and ate the rest of my salmon that I had intended to finish!) and William ate a lot--for him--and immediately after dinner, I gave the boys their bath. (Actually, I gave William a bath and Seth a shower--don't ask.)

After drying Seth off, I decided to let him sit at my computer desk while I soaped up William and washed his hair. I draped a towel under Seth, because he was still naked, but washing William's hair took a bit longer than expected because he had a fit for some reason. So when I finally went back into the bedroom to get Seth dressed, it was too late. I had been worried that he would pee on the chair. Well, it wasn't pee I should have worried about. Let me just say thanks for two things--one, that I put the towel down under him. And two, that he didn't feel inclined to investigate the poop that he was stepping in. Ed came in right about that time (great timing honey, thanks!) and grabbed the container of wipes for me. So he got William situated while I got Seth situated (Seth got bathed twice!). And by the time I got Seth's PJs on, he was practically asleep. He was fast asleep in his crib at 7:00 p.m.--a record for him!

William, meanwhile, did his nebulizer treatment and watched part of Wall-E with Ed. We went upstairs to brush teeth and read books at around 7:35, and before I had even finished the second book, he had fallen asleep. That's another record, because he has never fallen asleep before while I was reading to him. And he was asleep at 7:50--a third record!

So the kitchen is clean, the laundry is done, the week's menu has been planned and tomorrow's dinner has been prepped. I've been reading in my bed for half-an-hour, and now I'll probably read for another half-hour, and hopefully fall asleep before 10:00 p.m. Life is grand. The only thing that would make life perfect would be if we could all be done with our colds! But I should not be greedy. We just have colds--no swine flu and no stomach bugs. So grand is perfect enough in my book!

Phone Photo Friday

I took this picture earlier this week and couldn't wait to post it today! Seth loves to play on the big playground when I pick up William. And he loves playing with his brother even more!


Visit Phone Photo Friday originator Laura to see more phone photos!

Blog, Read, or Sleep

At about this time every night (around 9:30 or so), these are usually my 3 choices. If my chores end up taking longer, then I usually just go straight to choice 3 (sleep), but at 9:30, I still feel like I can fit it all in. Tonight, however, I want to read, so I'm making this post short.

• The drop-offs in the morning have continued to be a little rough. But the morning teacher assures me that he gets over it pretty quickly. Hopefully, he'll adjust soon, but if not, I guess I'm just going to have to get used to it again!
• His behavior and mood in general has been much better yesterday and today. Today he was telling me about how he threw sand in his friend's eye, but that it was an accident, and that he tried to help Rowan get it out. His teacher was impressed with his level of empathy, so that made me feel good. I have no idea if empathy is something that is taught, or something that is innate, but either way, it's definitely a trait I want my boys to have!
• Seth has had a cough for about a week now. It isn't particularly bad and doesn't seem to be bothering him. But he is definitely congested, and every now and then, his nose looks like it's getting runny or congested, too, but it's off and on. Last night, William started coughing, and his teacher said he coughed a lot today, and that it was the tight-sounding cough that usually precedes wheezing. So we added Albuterol to the Pulmicort in his nebulizer tonight, and crossed our fingers that he won't get any worse.
  
• The only reason that the colds are significant is that swine flu may have hit our daycare center. One teacher was out with a probable case of swine flu, and William's teacher is out this week with similar symptoms. I think she is actually getting tested, but I'm not sure. There are also several kids who have been out with fevers and varying other symptoms. It's a little worrisome, but it doesn't seem to be affecting people too much, so hopefully it's nothing to worry about. I've learned more about swine flu this week than I think I ever wanted to know!
• The freeze-ahead cooking hasn't been working out very well. The meals that I have prepared have not been big hits in our house. I'm beginning to think it's impossible to put together even one week's worth of cook-ahead/freeze-ahead meals that everyone will like. My other issue is that it takes so freakin' long to defrost things in the refrigerator! The whole "thaw in fridge overnight" instruction is total BS! It's more like 3-4 days. Seriously annoying. It's bad enough having things that are cold from the fridge going in the oven. If it's cold, it takes at least 15 minutes more in the oven to cook. Most of the meals I've been considering would take around 30 minutes in the oven, once prepared. So to tack on that extra time, we're talking 45 minutes. And that doesn't always work for us. So things like lasagnas or casseroles (which Ed and William don't like anyway) or quiches just aren't working well. Things that are working are marinated meats, tacos, quesadillas, pizza, spaghetti sauce, and crock pot meals. I'm not giving up, though! I know if I keep trying, I'll figure out something that works well for us.
• This turned into a longer post than I expected.

I'm going to publish this now so I can go read. But chances are I'll just skip straight to the sleep. Such is life!

Nipping It in the Bud

William cried again this morning when I dropped him off at school, but not quite as dramatically. When I picked him up, however, it did not go well. First of all, he was upset because he did not get to go outside with the first group of kids in his class. When lining up to go outside, the teacher had told the kids not to touch the water table, and William touched it, so she made him wait for the second group. And I got there right after this. So he immediately started crying that he wanted to go outside to play and didn't want to go home.

This is an ongoing issue because his new class hasn't been going outside until right around 5:00 p.m., which is right when I get there to pick him up. So I've been spending about 15 minutes letting William and Seth play on the playground before we go. It's kind of annoying spending that time on the playground, and it makes me think that I should just stay at work a little later. But then again, spending time with my kids at their school, interacting with the teachers and other kids, is a good thing. And the boys get their outside fix. So it doesn't really matter.

Anyway, today, while on the playground, William and another kid ran into each other by accident so William had a good cry over that. He was already upset because he wasn't ready to leave and didn't want to go home. Then his teacher offered him some water, and he very rudely yelled "No" at her. I was mortified that my child would talk to another adult this way, and I've been noticing in the last couple of weeks an increase in this kind of behavior. And Ed and I were just talking last night about needing to nip this behavior in the bud. So I immediately told William that he may not talk to grownups with that tone of voice, and that I will not tolerate him being rude to his teachers or to anyone else for that matter, and that we were going home right then. I was holding Seth in one arm and I bent down and picked up William in my other arm (who was now screaming crying) and carried both kids off the playground.

William cried and kicked and carried on from that moment until we were halfway home. He kept saying, "I don't want to go home. I want to go back to school. I don't want to go home!" When I asked him why Mommy made us leave school, he answered correctly--"Because I yelled at Ms. Andrea." So at least he knew why I made him leave. Fortunately he calmed down by the time we got home. I let him watch Clifford while I made dinner (it was definitely a boxed mac-n-cheese kind of night) and I gave the boys popsicles on the deck after dinner. I put Seth to sleep at 7:30 and then watched Zula Patrol with William as he finished his nebulizer treatment.

So the evening ended pretty well, but the whole day really left me frazzled. I know that much of William's behavior is stemming from his transition to the new classroom and new teachers. He's probably also constipated, which is never a mood booster. (Ever since the switch to underwear, my once-daily child has become an every-couple-of-days child.) Hopefully with time, he'll get used to his new routine, to his new surroundings, and his new teachers. Hopefully he will whine less and fall apart less and his thoughtful, funny, happy side will shine through. I need to be patient, to give him lots of love and reassurance. But I also need to be firm and consistent in enforcing what behavior is absolutely not acceptable. Simple, right? It's just amazing how emotionally and physically draining it is to deal with tantrums and discipline and behavior issues. I feel like I've been 5 rounds in a ring with a psychotherapist. And I know that I still have 50 more rounds to go. And that's just with one kid. The other isn't far behind! We all get through it though, right? For better or for worse, we all get through it.

Updates from a Blah Weekend

Although nothing really went wrong (thank goodness for small favors!), we had what can only be described as a "blah" weekend. We didn't do anything special or fun. I didn't get a whole lot done in the way of cleaning or organizing. We had some discipline issues, lots of whining, lots of crying. Seth has some kind of upper respiratory infection--which doesn't seem to be bothering him too much, fortunately. But he's also teething like crazy, which does seem to be bothering him. He's waking up 2 or 3 times a night, sometimes more. And while William is doing great with potty training--no pee accidents at all this weekend!--he is still struggling with pooping on the potty, and has decided that pooping in his underwear is the best way to go. Ugh!

So that pretty much sums up our weekend. We did have a nice time at Ed's aunt's house yesterday--celebrating his grandmother's birthday. And Seth took super-long naps both Saturday and Sunday (probably to make up for his sleepless nights) which gave William and me a chance to go out to lunch and then to the library. So all was not lost.

I guess my nagging sense of "blah" carried over to today because today was the boys' first full day in their new classrooms. Seth is now a "Young Toddler" and William is now a "Young Preschooler." Seth had no problem at his drop-off this morning. He happily waved bye-bye and blew us kisses. William, however, had a meltdown when it was time for me to leave, and I literally had to pry him off of me and hand him to his teacher. It was both embarrassing and heart-breaking. And I'm worried that this set the stage for all future drop-offs. He has said for two weeks now (since his transition to the new room started) that he does not want new teachers or a new classroom. He doesn't want to go upstairs with the big kids. (The preschool and preK classes are upstairs.) And even though he had a lot of fun while visiting the rooms last week, spending almost all day there on Thursday and Friday, including naps, today he wanted no part of his new place.

I know that he will adjust and that he's fine after a few minutes. Some days it takes more than a few minutes, but even then, I know he eventually gets over it, and then he's fine. But all of my anxieties about parenting emerge as I leave the room with him crying behind me, in the arms of a teacher. Up until last fall, when we started at the new daycare, he cried every day when I dropped him off. But since we've started at the new center, I can count on one hand the number of times he's had a tough time letting go. So that's why I'm envisioning the old habit coming back. Somehow the spell has been broken. His insecurities bring out my insecurities. What am I doing wrong?

The teachers are great and we've been talking about the transition and about strategies to make William feel more comfortable and able to say goodbye. I try to do everything by the book--create a routine, bring a special toy/blanket, use my timer, let him know what to expect, stay positive and happy, be as brief as possible. I just hope that his angst will be short-lived, and that we can return to the usual order soon. I don't know if I can take crying every morning. Talk about anxiety!

[ETA: I got an update from William's teacher's when I went to pick him up. He only cried for a few minutes, and the rest of his day was great. We also had a good evening--the boys played outside in the sandbox and with the hose while I grilled steaks and veggie packets for dinner. I overcooked the steaks and burned the broccoli, but it didn't matter. The day was salvaged and that's what matters!]