Rambly Parenty Stuff

So Seth is the kind of kid where if you tell him you're going to do something, you damn well better do it. If you don't, he will throw a fit of epic proportion and call you a liar.

Today, for example, we had an after-school plan. I was going to leave work at 4:45, pick William up from his friend's house, then pick Seth up from aftercare, then we were going to go to Subway, get dinner, and eat it in the car on the way back to Seth's school (totally Seth's idea--I wanted to eat at Subway, but whatever), so we could attend the Science Night program, which was all about nocturnal animals and featured a show about bats.

Well, the day progressed as days often do, and I didn't leave work until 5:00. And traffic was heavy. So I didn't get to William's friend's house until 5:45, and then I had go inside and chat with the mom and dad, and try not to look like I really just wanted to get the hell out of there, and by the time we left to pick up Seth, it was already 6:10. And the program started at 6:30. When I got to school and suggested to Seth that we go to Subway after the program, he freaked out. That was NOT the plan. No way, no how, not gonna happen. He was furious that we had to alter our plan and that he had to choose between being hungry or missing part of the activities.

William, meanwhile, didn't want to miss any of the program, so he started freaking out. They're both in tears (well, more like we're all three in tears, but I digress), which made me realize that they were both pretty hungry. So we got in the car, went to Subway, ate in the car on the way back to the school, and got back to the school in time to do 1 and 1/2 activities before the program started.

In the end they were fine. The drama was forgotten, as often happens with kids. Sometimes I try so hard to avoid the drama and confrontation, always forgetting how quickly it all passes. I forget that the tough lessons learned by a freak-out that gets you (the kid) nowhere, or even worse, has tough consequences imposed, are so worth me having to endure the freak-out. I feel like I have this visceral reaction to my kids being in distress, and I can't discern between real distress and character-building distress. Logically, I know the difference, but in the heat of the moment, all I see is my kid really, really upset. And I want to do anything to stop that. It's why I could never let my kids cry it out when they were babies. Not because I disagreed with the principal--it makes complete, logical sense to me--but because I just couldn't deal with the crying. We all feel that way about our kids--none of us like seeing our kids upset. But some parents are better at defining the boundaries and know what is best for our kids. I need to do a better job of stepping back and looking beyond the distress. It's so fleeting!

Hmmm--how I ended this post is not what I intended when I started it, but clearly, I needed to say that out loud. When I started, I thought I would talk about how Seth is very inflexible, and how I want to try to work with him to be a more flexible person. I don't know if that's a personality thing, or an age thing, or maybe a little of both. William is much more flexible and goes with the flow pretty easily. I think he was always that way, but maybe not. Anyway, I've rambled on long enough. This is what happens when you commit to posting every day!

Serious Gratitude

Since Seth started kindergarten in September, I have been commuting to work solo, which means I no longer have my HOV partner, which means I have to take the long way to work. Today, there was an accident on the long way to work, so in a very impulsive and last-minute decision, I turned onto the entrance ramp leading to the HOV-2 interstate, where I promptly found a police officer patiently waiting for HOV violators. Crap.

I pulled over before the officer even motioned to me. But in my complete panic, I pulled in behind him, so he had to direct me to pull in front of him. Oops! Once I was in front of him, he came to my window and very politely informed me that he was pulling me over because of the HOV requirement, which he could see that I already knew since I pulled over. I very remorsefully told him I was on auto-pilot, and that I normally have my son in the car with me (pointing to my back seat, with the two empty car seats strapped in). He took my license and then went to the car behind me, which he had pulled over right after I pulled over, and then he sat in his car, writing up tickets.

As I waited, I berated myself for being so stupid. I felt myself starting to tear up, and then willed myself not to cry. I avoided the gaze of all the drivers passing me on the entrance ramp--half of which, I may add, were solo drivers. Finally the officer came back and informed me that he was only giving me a warning. A warning!!! Praise be! He understood having a routine and being on autopilot and said it could easily happen to him. I seriously almost started crying out of relief. I have had a moment of feeling guilty that he wasn't writing me a ticket, when there were all these solo drivers that he could have pulled over and ticketed instead of giving me a pass. (I know, right? Huh?)

So today, I am deeply, deeply grateful to Officer #327, who found enough grace in his heart to let me off the hook. I hope he feels good about it. I will NEVER attempt to take the HOV route again when I am solo.

Drowning in Paper

Is it just me, or does everyone with kids in grade school have to deal with mountains and mountains of paper that come home every day? There are forms and flyers and announcements and notes and worksheets and artwork and more forms and Scholastic book catalogs and God-knows-how-many photo-copied pages of coloring sheets with things like "I AM A BUCKET FILLER" on them. I spend an inordinate amount of time sorting through paper and making a recycle pile and a save pile and a "to-do" pile and a "put on the calendar" pile. And each of those piles requires me to actively do something, which is a procrastinator and slob's worst nightmare. Make it stop! Our PTA went paperless this year, which is awesome. We get emails with announcements or info attached. And since I'm using Google calendar now, anyway, all I have to do is look at the attachment and add it to my Google calendar. The schools use Google calendar, too, so it's even easier to add things directly to my Google calendar. And yet, they still send paper home. I guess not everyone's one the Google train, huh?

Well, I guess I ought to go dig myself out of all these paper piles.

Girls' Weekend Was Worth the Break!

Well, I guess I didn't make it for NaBloPoMo, but 48 hours with 4 amazing women was soooo worth it. We had so much fun, doing nothing but eating and drinking. I can't wait to do it again! Of course, I'm exhausted. 'Cause, you know, drinking and eating is really hard. Actually, laughing that much really can wear a girl out. So I'm off to bed. But I will resume the regularly scheduled blogging tomorrow night. Thanks to Lindsay, Laura, Liz, and Maria! You guys give me so much to think about, so much to aspire to, and so much love!

My Outlook is Vastly Improving

Maybe it's because tonight was a good night--no yelling, no major fits, no fighting, decent dinner, lots of reading, some cuddling. Or maybe it's just because perspective can change a lot in a day (with the help of supportive comments and friends!). Oh, who am I kidding? I'm pretty sure it's because I'm getting on a plane in 11 hours BY MYSELF to spend 48 hours in Boston with 4 amazing women for a girls' weekend! Whatever the reason, I have to say, I feel pretty content right now. My suitcase is packed, the boys' lunches are made, I'm charging my Kindle, and I'm looking at a decent night's sleep.

With all of that in mind, tonight I'm thankful for Ed. Even though he doesn't love it when I go away (without him), I'm grateful that he's completely capable of taking care of the boys without me, and I don't have to do anything before I go. I don't have to prep meals or plan play dates or do laundry or write out a schedule or worry about anything. And I know that the boys will have a great weekend. And what's more, I'll actually come home to a house that will be neater than when I left it. If he left me with the kids all weekend, I know he would not be able to say the same! (About the house being neater than when he left it. LOL)

Even though I'll be out of town, I'm going to try my best to still blog tomorrow and Saturday. If it doesn't happen, though, I'm sure we can all overlook it. :-)

Introspection

I am in a very bad mood tonight. Not for any specific reason--well, not for any specific reason that I can talk about. Tanika wrote a very thoughtful post today about raising self-sufficient children, and Laura also wrote a post about implementing new rules in her house where her boys truly pitch in with household chores and learn to be self-sufficient and in the process, end up building skills and gaining confidence.

Yes to both of those of things! I want to do all of that. But oh my goodness--the kind of parent I want to be sometimes feels so far from the kind of parent I am.

Seth is already very much a go-getter when it comes to doing chores around the house. Of course, he always wants to get paid for helping out, but regardless, he takes a lot of pride in his accomplishments. He's very good at sweeping, he can fold clothes pretty well, he's good at making his bed and getting his room straightened up and things put away. He's an excellent sous chef in the kitchen. William, on the other hand, rarely takes any interest in doing anything around the house. It's not that he doesn't want to be helpful. It's just that when he's in his zone, focused on whatever it is he's doing, he does NOT want to switch gears and do anything else. And when he decides what he wants to do, he doesn't want to do anything else. It's hard to figure out what motivates him, or how to motivate him to do what we want him to do. With him, negative consequences are about the only things that work. (As in, if you don't clear you plate from the table, you will not get dessert.)

The thing is, William is just like me. JUST like me. And Seth is just like Ed. Poor William. I don't know how to motivate myself, so I have no idea how to help William. Incentives work great for Seth. They barely work at all for William. Or for me. I've been reading How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character. I both love and hate reading books like this. I hate them because I usually feel like I've already screwed things up. I love them because there is hope! Maybe all is not lost! I also want to read The Power of Habit. And Willpower. 

Anyway, I'm rambling now. I guess I'm just struggling to figure out how to change myself and to change my habits. I feel like I've been struggling with this my whole life! Where does my personality end and my habits begin? I wish I knew. Maybe this is a little too much introspection for one evening. If I figure something out after reading all these books, I'll let you know! In the meantime, I'm definitely going to keep working on getting the boys to take on more responsibilities around the house. When are they old enough to scoop out the cat litter? . . . 

Oh yeah--I almost forgot to post what I am grateful for today. Hmmmm. I'm not in a grateful mood, although how can I not feel grateful for every.single.thing I have and every single struggle I don't have when I read about the typhoon damage in the Philippines? I am thankful for heat and electricity and a comfortable bed and warm clothes and that I know where all my family and friends are tonight. 

Grateful Cliches

I know that it's kind of a cliche to be thankful for a gorgeous sunset. But y'all--seriously. The sunset today was GORGEOUS! I was hustling home to try and pick up the boys in time to get to the library for the Ruff Readers slots that I had signed both boys up for, and as I headed west on Rt. 50, I was blown away. I didn't even mind getting stopped at every.single.light on the way. And on top of that awesomeness, we made it to the library just in time.

So yeah, I'm thankful for the sunset. I'm not thankful that I left my phone at home so I didn't get to capture the beautiful sunset, or my kids reading to a beautiful golden retriever named Sammy. But that's pretty much the story of my life. No point in regretting it too much. Just because I didn't get a picture doesn't mean it didn't happen. :-)

Doctors Appointments and Feeling Grateful

I had the day off today in honor of our nation's veterans, but Ed and the boys did not. Somehow, I managed to enjoy my day to myself and got a few things done to boot. The most important of those things was making a few long-neglected but very important doctor's appointments. Since 2009, my dentist has been giving me referrals to the oral surgeon to have them check out my wisdom teeth. At least one of them is impacted (my wisdom teeth, not the oral surgeons), and although they're not causing me any pain (again, my wisdom teeth, not the oral surgeons--yet, anyway), I'd like to get them taken out. So finally, four years later, I made the appointment with the oral surgeon. Next on my list was a dermatologist appointment to have an all-over body scan. Check! And last, but certainly not least, I scheduled my first mammogram. Actually, what prompted me to finally take care of all these appointments was Amy Robach's announcement that she has breast cancer. Pretty crazy. But really, not that crazy. I'd actually be crazy to wait another day to get checked out. And in honor of that appointment, I give you these. This cracks me up every time I see it!

Switching gears. in thinking about what I'm thankful for today, (besides health insurance) of course I am deeply indebted to the men in women who are serving now and who have served in our nation's armed services. These individuals and their families make huge sacrifices--physical, emotional, logistical, financial--to ensure that we all have this amazing standard of living and these ideals that we truly take for granted--freedom to believe whatever we want, to talk about whatever we want, to read whatever we want, to go wherever we want, to disagree with our government. I'm not particularly patriotic, but from the bottom of my heart, I say thank you!

Fall Baseball

I realized that I never gave a full briefing on how our fall baseball season went. As I had mentioned (or maybe I didn't mention?), I ended up co-coaching William's fall baseball team. It was fantastic! The kids were great, the parents were great, William did really well and improved with every game. We won 5 games and lost 3. I don't necessarily want to coach again if William decides he wants to play in the spring, but I'll volunteer to be the team mom (which is essentially what I did, although I was out on the field with the players during practices, throwing to them sometimes, and working with them on running drills or fielding, and during games I was usually the 3rd base or 1st base coach). And if William decides he doesn't want to play baseball in the spring, that would be fine, too. Seth has already said he wants to play soccer, not t-ball. So we'll see if that sticks.

In the meantime, here are a few pictures that another mom took. It's a good thing, because I wouldn't have a single picture of the season if it weren't for her!

As for what I'm grateful for today, it's hard to choose just one, but I'm especially grateful for Seth playing so well by himself all day. Seth is our extrovert, so it's rare for him to spend a whole lot of time playing entirely by himself. He usually requires lots of interaction and "help." But today was one of those rare days. He played in his room for a long time (it helps that he has his new bedroom set-up) and played in the playroom for a long time, setting up his blocks and Playmobil pirate ship and army guys. He did this while Ed and I made America's Test Kitchen's Favorite Chili. It's been a long time since Ed and I cooked together in the kitchen. It was fun, and the chili was fantastic (both boys liked it!), and I think we all had a really good day. I'm also very grateful that Seth has inherited Ed's work ethic and penchant for neatness and organization. In addition to playing by himself quite a bit today, he also helped Ed sweep the patio, and he made his bed (his loft bed, mind you--no easy task!) and straightened up his room, and he helped our neighbor sweep their patio. That's some kid, huh?

Grateful for Awesome Neighbors

If there is such a thing as a day that is both lazy and productive, then today was that day. We started our day with the delivery of Seth's bedroom set. He's now the proud owner of a new low-loft bed, dresser, desk, and bookshelf. I spent the better part of the morning putting everything back into his room, organizing his dresser and desk, sorting through clothes and books. I never even took a shower. Once his room was back together, we had to make a Target run. I had to buy new sheets and a desk tray and some other odds and ends. Somehow (we all know how) we ended up spend over an hour and a half at Target. No one was complaining.

Back home, I did laundry and the boys played with our next-door-neighbors. When they all play together, inevitably, the older boys end up doing something that upsets Seth. That was the case today, so after a tearful episode, he left them alone and joined me in folding laundry and watching old episodes of America's Test Kitchen. I LOVE that he loves watching cooking shows with me. After watching a show, we decided to make pumpkin pie. Seth is pretty awesome in the kitchen. He can crack an egg like nobody's business, and he wields a mean whisk. After the pie was in the oven, Seth went back to play with William and the neighbors. Eventually it was dinner time, but the boys were still at the neighbors. They had pitched a tent in the yard and were having a blast, whatever they were doing.

I had dinner all ready but nobody was home. Eventually Ed came in and he and I decided to eat dinner by ourselves. I mean, if it ain't broke, don't fix it, right? I can't remember the last time Ed and I ate dinner together at home, just the two of us. I had total flashbacks to when we were first married and I used to cook dinner for just the two of us. Now I look back and think, why the hell did I bother? We could have just had cereal or cheese and crackers and been in bed by 9:00 p.m. every night!!! Anyway, dinner was nice, and Seth finally showed up asking if he could eat dinner at Jack and Charlie's house. So I took their plates over to Jack and Charlie's, and the boys ate their dinner over there. After a little while, Seth came back over and asked for dessert. So I took our pumpkin pie over there to share with them.

So this leads me to what I'm grateful for today--awesome neighbors! William and Seth love Jack and Charlie (Jack is 11 and Charlie is 9) and for the most part, they all play together so well. Jack and Charlie's parents were separated when we moved into our house over two years ago and got divorced this past spring. Their dad kept the house and their mom lives in an apartment nearby. But the awesome part of that whole situation is that Ed and I really love both parents, and we get along so well with both of them. And they get along with each other, so it makes it awesome for everyone. It's so nice have neighbors who we can depend on, who will help us out in a pinch, who treat our kids well and whose kids we like almost as much as our own. (And sometimes even more!) We definitely lucked out when we bought our house.

Movie Night

Tonight's feature

Today I'm grateful for Movie Night. We do movie night most Fridays. Sometimes we all watch something as a family. (It's actually rare that all four of us watch something together, though. Ed hates most kids' movies.) Sometimes our next-door-neighbors Jack and Charlie come over and the boys have a "boys' night." I usually make popcorn for them, and they usually sneak some candy from the pantry. Some nights, William and Seth go over to Jack and Charlie's, and Ed and I get a little bit of time to ourselves. Tonight, Ed went over to Jack and Charlie's house to have beers with their Dad. (After their dad helped Ed move Seth's old dresser downstairs, which someone is coming to buy tomorrow, thanks to Craigslist, which I'm also grateful for!) I don't know how much longer "move night" will be cool, how much longer the boys will want to hang out with us, at home. And I don't know if they'll remember this as a fun family tradition. I imagine that as they get older, we'll tweak things, or some other tradition will take its place. For now, I'm going to appreciate the simplicity of this tradition and how it makes the boys happy and enjoy it while it lasts.

Right Now I Am . . .

Wishing I hadn't committed to NaBloPoMo.

Blogging because I committed to NaBloPoMo.

Thinking that I will look back and be glad that I committed to NaBloPoMo.

Wanting to curl up in bed and go to sleep.

Ignoring the three piles on my desk that need to be sorted and purged.

Learning about optimal Twitter times.

Planning what we want to do this weekend.

Apologizing to my babysitter, who I forgot to leave the key for today. (Yes--I know it's supposed to be "for whom I forgot to leave to the key" but that sounds stuffy and haughty to me. So I'm leaving it my way.)

Kicking myself because not only did I forget to leave a key for the babysitter, but I forgot to put a note in Seth's folder that he should ride the bus home today. He went to daycare.

Smiling at Ed, because he came to the rescue and drove home to open the house for William and the babysitter.

Considering signing up for Curves near my house. I was a member about 12 years ago and really liked the program, and it fit my lifestyle well. Of course, that was before kids.

Getting ready for Seth's new bedroom furniture, arriving on Saturday. He's getting a low loft, dresser, bookshelf, and desk.

Looking forward to reading Ender's Game tonight, if I can stay awake.

Feeling grateful that William gets so absorbed into topics and shows so much intellectual curiosity. This week, he's into megaladon sharks, and he's been watching various videos about them and he checked books out from the library on them and he's writing his own book about them and he's drawing pictures of them. It might not last long, but then he'll be on to the next cool topic. I love it!

Two Hours I'm Not Getting Back

I just spent about two hours trying to remove some malware from my computer that I accidentally installed yesterday. I was trying to figure out how to read an epub on my Kindle and somehow ended up installing this awful program that hijacks your browsers and redirects your search engines to this heavily advertised horribleness (it's search.conduit, in case you've heard of it. Nasty!). In my first attempt to find a fix, I came across SpyHunter, which will scan your PC for free and then show all the horrible spyware and malware on your PC, but when it's time to clean it up, you have to pay. So then I searched for ratings of SpyHunter and it got terrible ratings, so then I bought McAfee something-or-other, which was highly rated, but only after I downloaded and installed it did I realize that it doesn't clean up spyware and malware already on your PC. It only prevents you from downloading new spyware and malware. So then I did some more Google searching and found a free program called adwcleaner and I installed that and that worked. Phew!

Then I tried to uninstall SpyHunter from my PC and that would not uninstall. So then I had to Google again to figure out how to uninstall it. And I found Microsoft FixIt, which I installed, and it totally worked. So now my PC feels clean and protected and I am sighing a huge sigh of relief.

And that leads me to what I am grateful for today--Google! I know Google has its detractors and it's becoming massive and invasive and there is no such thing as privacy anymore, but OH MY GOD!!! How did we ever figure anything out before Google???

And now that I've been staring at my computer for the last two hours, it's time to go to the store to buy milk and bread and fruit, and then I'm going to read, and then I'm going to bed.

Grateful for my Kindle

I LOVE being able to download books from my local library onto my Kindle without ever leaving my house. I love that I can put a book on hold, and I get an email when it's ready, and when it's due back, it gets returned without me having to do anything. I will NEVER have an overdue book! There are, of course, many books that are not available in digital format, and I still check out books the old-fashioned way. But my Kindle pretty much tops my list of the most versatile and wonderful device I've ever owned. I'd probably rather have an iPad, but for less than half the cost, I think the Kindle is a WAY better value.

That is all!

Soccer

Seth played soccer this fall and he loved it. He was really into it, and toward the end of the season, he even understood the concept of working with his teammates to get the ball down the field toward their goal. (Of course, understanding the concept and executing the concept are two different things. LOL) Saturday was his last game and the weather was gorgeous! I finally remembered to bring the camera and to actually use it.

A little pep talk for his teammates:

Here he's talking strategy:

Taking the ball down field:

Showing off his team picture and medal after the game:

There's a tree at the soccer field that Seth loves to climb. After the games, he sits on a branch while he eats his snack and drinks his juice. Ed's parents came to the last game, and Ed's dad talked about how he loved to climb trees as a kid. (I guess Seth comes by it honestly.) He just couldn't resist climbing this one, too, so Ed decided to get in on the action:

Seth wants to play soccer again in the spring, so I guess we'll be juggling between baseball and soccer again. (And Taekwondo!) Good stuff!

And now for what I'm grateful for today. It's really tough to choose just one thing, but as I stared out my kitchen window this morning while getting ready for work, I couldn't help but feel grateful for this view:

The tree is at its peak colors and the weather has been so gorgeous the past few days and I love our porch. It all made me feel very happy!

I'll Take What I Can Get

I got my extra hour today in the form of groggily watching the clock turn from 5-something a.m. to 6-while listening to three 7-year-old boys go downstairs to watch TV and argue over whose turn it was to pick a show, while also listening to our cat meow every 3 seconds while clawing the side of the bed--MY side of the bed. Good stuff.

I really can't complain, though. We had a great weekend, topped by a fantastic visit with Heather and Ben. Following her day's adventure with Ben in DC (while I ran from Taekwondo to a soccer game to lunch with the in-laws to a birthday party), we took the boys (plus a friend of William's who also came over for a sleepover) to McDonald's Playland and then set them up with Home Alone 2 (that's Lost in New York). They all slept in William's room, but didn't fall asleep until close to 11:00 p.m. At one point, as Heather and I chatted in the playroom (we actually got some awesome one-on-one time to hang out!) we heard all 3 of them trying to quietly come downstairs. We asked what they were doing, and apparently, they were coming up with a plan of how to come downstairs as early as possible in the morning without waking us up. They even drew a map:

Their plan, however, failed miserably.

But, that's to be expected, I guess, when you're talking 7-year-old boys. After a birthday party from 12-2 today, William was WIPED OUT. I found him asleep on the couch in the living room around 4:00 p.m. So that is what I'm most grateful today--that his tired little body fell asleep. He was a little grumpy when he woke up, but we had a good family dinner, had lots of time to read before bed, and both boys were asleep at 8:00 p.m. It would have been nicer (for both of us) if William had gotten that bit of sleep on the front end of the day. But I'll take what I can get. And

Tired But Happy

Today was a full day that started with the kids waking up before the sun came up. I was SO mad at them. We have to drag them out of bed at 7 a.m. on weekday mornings, with them kicking and screaming and putting up such a fuss. And then, on SATURDAY morning, when we can all sleep in, they're up before the sun. And not only up before the sun, they're waking ME up before the sun. I was seriously bent. At 6:00 a.m., I told them in my meanest Mommy voice that on Sunday morning, they were not to make a SINGLE peep until it was 7:00 a.m. And then Seth said, "I don't even know what that means, Mom." Oh yeah--he hasn't learned how to tell time yet.

So then I went back in my room, only to have Ed tell me that my clock was an hour early (have no idea how that happened--I didn't set it that way), and it was actually 7:00. I basically lit into my kids for waking up at 7:00, which is actually when I want them to wake up. Oops.

So this brings me to what I'm grateful for today--an extra hour tomorrow, to do with whatever I want. I realize, of course, that my kids will probably wake up at 5:00 a.m. But I will be okay with that. I always say that I wish the day were longer, so here's my one chance to get what I ask for.

I'm also grateful for cupcakes.

NaBloPoMo--Gratitude

Yep--I'm going to attempt to participate in NaBloPoMo. (National Blog Posting Month) Hoping it will kick-start me back into the habit of blogging in the evenings. I'm off to a not-so-great start, seeing as how it's 11:30 on Friday night, November 1, and I still haven't posted. But I have a good excuse! Heather is here, visiting with us so she and Ben can take advantage of some of DC's awesome free museums.

And I'm posting now, and that counts, right? And since I know I won't feel like posting something every single day, I've decided to participate in the November Gratitude project and post something I'm thankful for every day of November.

So, I'm grateful for Internet friends who have turned into real-life friends!

Happy Halloween!

When Halloween falls on a weeknight, I absolutely CAN NOT get my shit together. It is always a mad dash to get the kids home and fed and get costumes on them and get out the door. I never end up eating dinner, the kids are halfway dressed when the first trick-or-treaters ring our doorbell, I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to finish up last-minute costume details that I inevitably put off 'till the very.last.minute. Such was the scene tonight and ergo, no pictures of my kids in their Halloween costumes.

But this is what they dressed up as:

Seth:

William:

Well, for all you know, that could be William. So we'll just leave it at that. 

I did, however, get some (very grainy) pictures of the pumpkin we carved last night, and the other pumpkin I carved after the boys went to bed. (Between the two batches of sugar cookies I rolled out and baked for William's class party, and before I hemmed William's costume, twice, on account of the first time I safety-pinned the outside instead of the inside. But I digress.) Well, I actually pretty much drew the face and carved both the pumpkins, but Seth picked out the faces. The boys wanted to help, but, yeah. That was gonna take way too much time and we have a schedule, people. Maybe next year. 

Now I'm off to eat remove the peanut-contaminated chocolate from William's loot. It's a terrible job, but someone has to do it. Poor kid. No Snickers, no Reeses Peanutbutter Cups, no Twix bars, no Kit-Kats. I guess it's a good thing he doesn't know what he's missing!

Happy Halloween!

Vacation's Over

Thankfully, the saner heads in the Senate prevailed and I went back to work today. A few more days would have been nice, but I can hardly complain. A surprise 2 and 1/2 week vacation is a gift and I feel pretty good. Of course I keep thinking of things I should have done while I was off. But I got some things done and I spent a lot of QT with the boys and I got lots of me time. And now I'm ready to buckle down and get back into the swing of the old routine.

My boss said it was fine to take a long lunch to be the mystery reader at William's school tomorrow. I did have to cancel the shift I had planned to spend helping set up the school's book fair, but such is life. I signed up to work an evening shift instead. Not a big deal. The kids even got to ride the bus home today and they will again tomorrow because Ed has today and tomorrow off from work. We are both disappointed that our time off didn't coincide (we had great plans for an all-day date today), but we each got time to ourselves, which we both need, too.

Now that I have had this time off, it's given me a really good opportunity to think about priorities, to think about how I want my days to go, about what parts of my schedule stress me out, and about what parts of my schedule I can handle better. When you're in the weeds, it's kind of hard to do anything but plod through. With perspective, you can feel like you have a better grip on things. Of course, this time next week, I'll probably feel like I'm drowning all over again. But right now, I'm optimistic. And that's enough.

Girls' Weekend 2013

A long, long, long time ago--back in June 2013--I had my annual Girls' Weekend trip. My three best friends from high school and I have gotten together one weekend every year since 2002. We've all been friends since middle school, and two of the girls were in elementary school together. Each year of middle and high school brought us together and sometimes pushed us apart. We stayed in touch during college and somehow, we all managed to get closer after college--when we each started carving out our own paths in life and figuring out who we are and making mistakes and forging ahead.

I can't imagine how I would have gotten through my 20s, and then my 30s, without these women. We didn't live in the same cities and we didn't talk to each every day, or even every week or every month. We all took very different paths. But then again, not so different. And still--these are the women who have my back. Who do not judge. But will not hold back. These are the women I admire most, whose opinions matter the most to me. Even though we live in a high-tech world that makes it so easy to stay connected, the hustle and bustle of life with kids and husbands and work makes it a challenge to really stay connected with each other. This is why our one weekend a year is so, so important. We pick up right where we left off the year before--although sometimes, we're all lucky enough to see each others at other times during the year. As we get older, the weekends we spend together change. Some years we are more subdued. We certainly eat less junk food than we used to. We don't stay up quite as late. But I love to think about what our future weekends together will be like. What new adventures will we plan? What problems will we solve? How will I be inspired to be a better person?

Because no matter where we go or what we do or what we talk about or what we don't talk about, I am always inspired by these three women. They are amazing people and I am so lucky to have them in my life.

Girls' Weekend 2012
Girls' Weekend 2011
Girls' Weekend 2010
Girls' Weekend 2009
Girls' Weekend 2008

A Few Observations

• Maybe this is just me, and maybe I shouldn't be admitting this, but as a WOHM, I lived for the long weekends. As a SAHM, however, I kind of couldn't wait for the week to start and the boys to go back to school and Ed to go back to work. Someone's getting used to being home!
• I much, much, much prefer to do all my laundry at once on the weekend, rather than in drivels throughout the week. 
• I can't remember what was on my to-do list at work when I left. Guess I'm gonna have some acclimating to do when I get back to work.
• I am loving our fall baseball team. What a great group of kids! And parents, too. We only have two games left, and while I'm looking forward to a less hectic schedule, I will miss it. 
• It's super easy to watch time slip away as you "research" things on the Web, catch up on TV shows, and *ahem* blog.
• Seven hours does not feel as long as it sounds.
• Next weekend, Seth has a soccer game at 8:30, which seems kind of early, but I'm happy because I will get to see both Seth's soccer game and William's baseball game. 
• Although I want the government shutdown to end, it would be nice if it didn't end this week. I signed up to be the Mystery Reader in William's school this Friday and it would be awesome if I could actually do it.
• It's hard to get the smell of burnt toast out of your house.
• Making a bed can make you feel like you've actually accomplished something. 

Off to make some beds!

Fall Camping

When I was growing up, my favorite time of the year to go camping was the fall. The nights are crisp enough to want to gather by the camp fire, the mosquitoes and gnats have disappeared, and the leaves are gorgeous if you time it just right. With that in mind, I hope to always plan at least one fall camping trip with the boys, and a few weekends ago, we got our chance. After our spring camping trip, however, when Ed and I pretty much got no sleep and felt like we did a lot of setting up and breaking down for just one night, we decided to do things a little differently. We found a rustic cabin.

In order to find an available cabin with just a few weeks notice, I had to be open to locations. I found one at a Maryland state park less than two hours away. It was near the Eastern Shore, so not in the mountains, where we prefer to camp, but there was a fishing area, and trails. And we were only going for one night, so we booked it.

Staying in a cabin was a game changer. We didn't have to pitch a tent. Or break it down the next day. The cabin had electricity--and even AC or heat, if we needed it. (We didn't.) There were bunk beds for the boys and a full-size bed for Ed and me. It was perfect! We fished by the water, walked around on the trails, came back and built a campfire, roasted hot dogs and marshmallows for s'mores, and went to bed once it got dark. The next morning we built a fire and made breakfast, played on the playground, walked around the trails some more, and then headed home. I can't wait to book a cabin at a better campsite for the spring--and maybe I'll even go ahead and book a cabin now for next fall. I'm sold!

Ruff Readers

In trying to adjust to my new stay-at-home status, I've found that it's much easier to adjust our after-school activities when needed. Baseball practice was cancelled on Monday because of rain, so it was rescheduled for Wednesday. Wednesday is normally Taekwondo day, but we can also go on Tuesday. So when the boys got off the bus yesterday, I told them we were heading straight for Taekwondo.

Well, it might be easier for ME to adjust our schedule, but for the boys, not so much. They both immediately dissolved into tears and fits. I'm used to this with Seth, but when William starts crying? I better listen. Fortunately, William can also go to TKD on Thursday, so I gave them the option of going on Thursday instead, to which they both readily agreed. I still wanted to get them out of the house, however, because the cleaning lady was there (I know--tough life, right?) So we went to McDonald's to get ice cream cones (although Seth ended up eating a cheeseburger and a 4-piece chicken nuggets and an ice cream cone and William ate chicken nuggets and an ice cream cone. So much for dinner--boys are HUNGRY after school!) and then I took them to the library to check out a program I'd been meaning to sign them up for.

Ruff Readers is a program that brings therapy dogs to the library and kids can sign up to read to the dogs. They come to the library once a month, but they're usually there from 5 to 6, a time that doesn't work for us when I'm working. So I've never signed the boys up for it. Yesterday, however, when we got to the library, someone had cancelled his appointment at the last minute, so William got to read to one of the dogs! He chose a big German Shepherd and read for 20 minutes. Seth sat next to the dog, too, and got to feed the dog treats. William LOVED it and read beautifully. Be still my heart! This morning, he woke up, got dressed, and then brought a book downstairs to read to Clark (our cat). Clark even cooperated for a little while (thank goodness). I've been waiting for William . to turn that corner with reading--to really want to read. I mean, he loves books, loves to be read to, loves checking books out from the library, and loves to learn new things. He's on grade level with his reading. I wouldn't say he's struggling. But he is rarely self-motivated to read on his own. I've tried all different kinds of books--picture books, graphic novels and comics, non-fiction, magazines, chapter books. I've tried books on CD that he can read along with. (He never reads along--he just looks at the pictures.) I've tried poetry and joke books and the Book of World Records. He's interested in all of them. But not in reading them. So, if reading to dogs can possibly help motivate him to read, then I am all over it!

You can bet that once I'm back to work, I'll be adding a monthly appointment with Ruff Readers to our calendar and I will find a way to get William there.

Week Two of the SAHM Gig

I wish I could say that I'm rocking this stay at home mom gig, but I'm totally not. I feel like I'm spinning my wheels. All the crap that I manage to squeeze into weekends and nights gets dragged out during the week when I'm home. Instead of cleaning up the kitchen once, at night, I feel like I clean it five times a day. (How the heck do I manage to make such a mess all day?) Instead of pounding out the laundry in one day, I'm doing a load of laundry every freakin' time I turn around. Wash. Dry. Fold. Repeat. Ad nauseum. I know, I know. Cry me a river, right? I will say that it's a bit less stressful, not having to cram everything into small windows of time. But I do better when my time is tightly managed.

When I go back to work, I don't want to look back and think about all the time I wasted not getting anything done. But on the other hand, I don't want to look back and regret that I didn't take advantage of this time to relax. I'm trying to be a little bit selfish and do things just for me--read, go through recipes, browse the Internet, catch up on TV shows. But boy--is it easy to let a whole day go by with little to show for it.

I have a list of errands to run today--dry cleaners, pharmacy, Post Office, Goodwill. And the cleaning lady is coming, so I need to make sure everything is picked up. (See--if I was working, I would have had all of this done last night!) I might take the boys bowling when they get out of school. Or maybe to the batting cages. It's nice to have options. And time. I keep hearing this voice in my head saying, "Enjoy it while it lasts! Enjoy it while it lasts!" So that's what I'm trying to do. You know--the same way you're supposed to enjoy your kids while their young? Yeah--like that. LOL. Maybe I'll get the hang of this in another week or two. Probably just when they end the stand-off and I return to work. :-)

The Wedding

Sometime last year, Ed's cousin asked William and Seth to be ring bearers in her wedding. They had no idea what it meant, but eagerly agreed. Ed and I were honored, but also apprehensive. This would be a formal wedding. With tuxes. Meaning, the boys would have to wear tuxes. Mind you, William still will not wear anything with buttons. No pants with button fly, no collar shirts or button-downs, not even elastic-waist pants or shorts with cargo pockets with buttons. At this point, he won't even wear khaki-style pants or shorts with elastic waists. It's even hard to get him to wear a plain or striped t-shirt. He only likes polyester sports pants and shorts (a child after my 70s-loving mother's heart) and graphic t-shirts. So you can imagine our concern.

But we talked it up with the boys, told them how they would get to wear awesome tuxedo "costumes" with shoes and vests and ties and everything. We took them to get measured. The store didn't have anything for them to try on, so we had to wait for the tuxes to come in. When they did, I took both boys, by myself, and struggled to get them into their get-ups properly. I needed a lot of help from the store clerks, who were not all that eager to help me. I guess they didn't realize the sooner they helped us, the sooner we would leave. I managed to take a few pictures while they were getting fitted.

William seemed to take it okay at the fitting. Seth kept jumping up and down and saying the pants were itchy. The day of the wedding arrived and the boys were actually excited. They had met the flower girls a few weeks prior and had really hit it off with them. The girls were the exact same ages as the boys and they had fun running around during the rehearsal. So the boys were actually asking about the girls and when they would see them. We got them into their tuxes (with pajama bottoms on Seth underneath his pants) and they didn't complain at all. They loved their shiny shoes. They liked getting all dressed up! And oh my goodness--they looked so cute!!! The tuxes were brown (which wouldn't have been our first choice), but it didn't matter. They were still so handsome!

Once it was time to start, I left the boys with the wedding party and the organizer, and Ed and I took our seats. The boys did so well. They walked out with the wedding party. They stood there while the bride walked down the aisle. Then they sat down with us once the father of the bride took his seat. After the ceremony they walked out with the flower girls. Sooo cute! Then they went with the wedding party to take pictures. Ed and I stayed back, figuring the kids would be better behaved without us there. I have yet to see the pictures, but I hope they're good! In typical Beth style, I had remembered to bring my big camera, except I had forgotten to put in the battery. So I had no camera at all. (Left my cell phone in my car. Grrrr.) But Ed's sister took some pictures, too. Just look at my handsome men!

The bride is a horse fanatic, so the boys carried rings tied to horseshoes

With the father of the bride--Ed's uncle

 We were so proud of them! They had a great time at the reception. There was a kids' table with a huge centerpiece made of lollipops. Brilliant! And each kid got a goody bag with all kinds of awesome stuff--stickers, crayons, activity books, glow bracelets, and more candy. They didn't want to leave! It was a great experience and I hope this means I can now get William to dress up more often!

*Cough* *Cough* *Ah-choo!*

Please excuse the dust as I brush this thing off and try to get her going again. Hello, everyone! Where have you all been? Ha ha.

Today, this blog post is brought to you by our wonderful government, which has deemed me non-essential, which frees up a wee bit of my time. For what it's worth, I would be embarrassed if my job was considered essential. But I'm sure we can all agree, no matter where we fall on the political spectrum, that this situation is ridiculous, terrible, indefensible, and unconscionable.

That said, I have a few days off. Woo-hoo! I can't say that I'm not nervous about having more than a few days off, but I'm one of the lucky ones who doesn't have to worry about the financial hit we're taking. (At least not in the short term.) Ed is not furloughed and we have savings and we live (for the most part) beneath our means. My thoughts are with those workers who are not so fortunate.

So, like I was saying, where have you guys been? I've been around, "working it out" so to speak. I guess I have a lot of catching up to do, but if I try to think about allll the catching up I need to do, I get overwhelmed. So I'll do some general updating today, and then I may go back to fill in some details. Or maybe I won't.

First things first--Summer! We had a fabulous summer. William went to a bunch of different summer camps, which seemed to work out well for him. They were mostly all run by our community center, so the location and the before- and after-care were all consistent. I think it was good to switch things up each week so that he didn't get bored. Seth, meanwhile, finished up the summer at his daycare center, where he has attended since he was 12 weeks old. Leaving there was bittersweet, but he was ready. We had a few fabulous vacations. The boys and I went to Florida and to North Carolina. I had my annual girls' weekend with my 3 best friends and it was as wonderful as it always is. At the end of the summer we went to an all-exclusive resort in Mexico--just Ed, William, Seth, and me. The boys LOVED it. Ed and I liked it okay.

Which brings us to Kindergarten! And 2nd grade! William has a fantastic teacher and LOVES 2nd grade. He comes home every day chattering away about his day and what he learned and who he played with. This is definitely a new phenomenon. He gets a homework packet on Monday of each week, which is due Friday. And he has to read for 20 minutes each night. It is still like pulling teeth to get him to read and do his homework. But he doesn't seem to be struggling with anything, so that's good.

Seth's adjustment, meanwhile, has been a little bit more challenging. Which is to be expected, but I actually wasn't expecting it. I thought he would LOVE kindergarten. But it's only okay for him so far. I don't know much about his teacher, but I don't think she's the problem. I think he's just adjusting to not being able to do what he wants to do all the time. This morning, he actually hid in the bushes when the school bus arrived, and I practically had to drag him out and put him on the bus. I don't think the bus driver was amused. *Sigh* I'm hoping things will get better for him. We have his school's open house next Thursday, so I'll get a chance to talk to his teacher for a minute then. And we have parent-teacher conferences the first week of November. Hopefully things will improve. I wouldn't say he's unhappy (although he was unhappy this morning), but he's not as cheerful as I hoped he would be.

 On the bright side, Seth is playing soccer this fall and he loves it! And he's really good. He talks a little trash, though, to the other team, which we're working on. But he's very focused on defense and pretty much has his head in the game the whole time. William, meanwhile, decided to play fall baseball. And guess who got asked to coach about 20 minutes after submitting his registration? That's right--me. I'm coaching baseball! Not t-ball, mind you. Baseball. I insisted that I needed to co-coach, though. That I couldn't do it all myself, mostly because I can't pitch, and this level is coach-pitch. So I got paired with another dad and it is working out beautifully. I do all the communication and keep track of the line-up and the fielding positions. The other coach runs the practices. And our team is awesome! I'm really having fun with it, and William seems to be enjoying it, too. He doesn't really love practice (which makes me nuts), but he's improving and he really likes the games. The kids on our team all go to a different school, so that's actually a good thing for William.

William is also continuing to do Taekwondo, which is making our schedule a bit crowded. We have baseball practice on Monday, TKD on Wednesday, soccer practice on Thursday, TKD on Friday, and a baseball game and soccer game on Saturday. BUT this will only last 'till Nov. 2. And then things should calm down. It has been a bit of a struggle to get used to our new schedule. I'm trying to get out the door earlier in the mornings so that I can leave work earlier and shuttle the kids to practices. But the kids have decided they would now like to sleep past 7:00 a.m. on weekday mornings (unlike years past when they bounded out of bed at 6:15 and got all in my business while I was getting ready for work), so it's hard to get them up and get them fed before I leave for work.  I definitely took for grated the morning time that I got to spend with them in years past.

My commute is also taking a lot longer without Seth in the car. I can't take the HOV lanes now, and it makes a bigger difference than I thought it would. Such is life. Adjustment, adjustment, adjustment. I have a feeling that my future is going to be full of adjustments. It's weird having elementary-aged kids now. But weird in a good way.

For now, however, I'm trying to take advantage of being a stay-at-home mom. So far, so good. I had lunch with Seth on Tuesday. I went grocery shopping during the day. I detailed my car. My laundry is done. Beds are made. The kitchen is clean. I even cleaned all my drains with baking soda, vinegar, and boiling water. (Thanks, Pinterest.) Yesterday, I took the boys to a fun playground after school. Today I'm going to a funeral. (Ed's mom's cousin died.) I've also made dinner every night--and I'm not talking sandwiches, fruit & cheese plates, or quickly heated chicken nuggets.  And I'm updating my blog. Good stuff! (Well, except the funeral, but I'm glad I can pay my respects.) We'll see how long it goes on, and how much more "adjusting" we'll have to do. In the meantime, I'm off to find my bon-bons!

Super Summer Weekend

We're leaving on Thursday afternoon for our trip to Florida and I'm just trying to figure out all the logistics and think about what I need to pack. We'll have some beach time, some time with friends, time with family, and maybe even a trip to the zoo. Unfortunately, it looks like Ed won't be coming with us. We thought he might be able to meet us in NC but it doesn't look like that's a go. Next year we'll time the trip for a little bit later so that we can hang out with my sister and her kids and Ed will be able to go.

In the meantime, the boys and I are looking forward to it. This past weekend the boys got lots of pool time and I got a chance to hang with Heather V not once but twice! On Friday night we met up for a quick bite to eat on a lovely summer evening. On Saturday night, while the boys attended Ninja Night Out at the Taekwondo studio and Ed saw World War Z, Heather and I ate al fresco again and then I took her on what can only be described as a classically Beth monument tour.

We started at the new Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial and then the plan was to show her the FDR Memorial, which she hadn't seen. My stellar navigational skillz took us around the entire Tidal Basin only to realize after we had walked through that the FDR Memorial was directly next to the MLK Memorial in the other direction. D'Oh! It was quite a walk, but at least the Super Moon was out to light up our way. And it was awesome to spend so much time gabbing with Heather kid-free. So for that, I'm not sorry! LOL.

On Sunday we went to Ed's aunt and uncle's farm, where the boys swam all afternoon and William actually drove the tractor. We're talking foot pedals, gear shift, steering wheel and all!  (Aunt Diane is a brave woman!) The weather was hot and humid, but breezy in the shade--perfect for swimming. In fact, the whole weekend was fabulous--one of those awesome summer weekends that just sort of happens to come together. Great weather, great friends, great activities. I hope there are more of those to come!

I'm In the Weeds!

When it comes to this blog, I am definitely in the weeds. I just cannot get back into the habit of blogging. But I really don't want to stop blogging. I love looking back on my life and I love the blogging community and I'm not ready to give it up.

So I will keep on keepin' on and hope the inspiration bug bites again. In the meantime, it's summer!!! So far, so good. William is attending our community center's "Summer Fun" camp this week and seems to be enjoying it. They play in the park, have arts and crafts, go swimming, and on Wednesday, they went on a field trip to the DC zoo. Next week, he has a Harry Potter camp in the a.m. (science camp--they make potions and edible wands and play Quidditch) and then a Can You Dig It camp in the afternoon (excavating dinosaur fossils and putting together a skeleton). I hope he likes those, too. At the end of the week, we're leaving for Florida and North Carolina for a week. I'm in denial that it's actually only a week away, but NOT in denial that my annual Girls' Weekend with my high school friends starts the week off. Woo-hoo! (You can see my accounts of my 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009, and 2008.) We've been getting together once a year since 2002, but I wasn't blogging back then. Boy do I wish I had been!

My big news for this week is that my office is now Tweeting! The Senate Historical Office has a Twitter account, and I am the person Tweeting. Follow us at @SenateHistory (https://twitter.com/SenateHistory). I'm Tweeting all manner of interesting tidbits of Senate History. Our Tweets are meant to showcase all of the information that we have on our website--tons and tons of information that is becoming difficult to manage and to organize. So not only will Twitter help people learn about Senate History and what our office has to offer, but we also hope it will help give us some direction on how better to present our information. I have been consumed with all things Twitter this week. It has been fun, but a lot of work. I am slowly learning how to pace myself and to manage my time. 'Cause we all know that Twitter can be a HUGE time suck!!! Still, this is a great professional opportunity for me--a way to get a little more recognition and visibility at work. So what are you waiting for? Go follow us!

What else, what else. Oh yeah--summer bucket list! Again this summer, I'm not doing an "official" summer bucket list. Our summer schedule is a lot like our regular school-year schedule, so there's not a whole lot of time to check off a big list of things. BUT, we are taking advantage of our town's summer concerts in the park series. Tonight was the first performance and the weather was perfect! The boys played with a big gaggle of boys. They played baseball and built some kind of fort and played some kind of game that involved sticks-as-guns and protect-the-fort. You know, typical boy stuff. I relaxed and drank wine and chatted it up with a group of cool moms while Ed chatted it up with our next-door neighbor. Have I mentioned how much I LOVE having kids who are old enough to play on their own? All I have to do is keep vague, visual track of the boys. It's AWESOME!

There are other things we want to do--go to the beach (we'll get to do that in Florida), go swimming (if it ever warms up enough to get into the big pool!), go visit Ed's aunt and uncle on their horse farm (maybe on Sunday), participate in the library's summer reading program, go to the library's Wednesday night performances, go to another minor league baseball game, attend a military band performance at the Capitol one night, go to the Baltimore Aquarium or the Baltimore Science Museum. If we do any one of those things, great. If we do none of them, no big deal. I'm working on keeping the bar low and enjoying the mundane of everyday life. The big things are easy to enjoy. It's the little things that you have to look for sometimes.

School's Out!

We have had a busy couple of weeks, but the most important of all--school's out! Today was William's last day.

I got his picture:

Here's the funny thing, though. His last day was actually 6/14/2013. Anyone know how to fix that in Photoshop? LOL. That's pretty much the story of my life. (Never mind!)

Anyway, let's compare that to his first day of first grade:

And let's check him out on the last day of Kindergarten:

I have lots more catching up to do, but that will have to suffice for now. William gets the day off tomorrow, but summer day camp starts Monday. On to new adventures!