Drive-by Ketchup

I love the post titles that some of you fellow-bloggers come up with, so I'm completely poaching two of them for today's post--Driving By (by HeatherV) and Ketchup (by Jen). So without further ado . . .

• William has gotten some awesome birthday presents this year, including Snap Circuits Jr. He's played with it constantly since opening it. Not sure if he's actually learning anything about circuits and electricity, but it's a pretty awesome toy, imo. He also received a bunch of cool Lego sets, several of which he has put together entirely by himself. I'm so impressed with his ability to do this, mostly because I completely underestimated him (I'm ashamed to admit) and assumed he would need my help. I mean seriously, I get lego stuff wrong all the time!
• The other cool gifts he got were a watch and a remote control helicopter. He is now officially a big kid. The concept of time suddenly clicked for him when he got the watch. Now when I tell him that he has 10 minutes, he gets it. He is also crazy about his helicopter and took it to school for his Superstar week. He got to fly it around his classroom and his friends were uber-impressed. Nothing's more awesome to a six year old than to impress your friends!
• Snails! 

About a month ago, William finally got to redeem his first big reward from his responsibility chart and he really wanted snails. Ed was pretty adamant about NOT wanting an aquarium in our house, and he told William that he could put the snails in our fountain pool on the patio. On the day that we were going to pick out the snail, our neighbor Charlie invited William over to play, so William asked if I would go get the snail so he could play with Charlie. So I went solo to pick out a snail, and for some unknown reason, I decided to get 3 snails. (WTF???) I brought them home and William was thrilled. We put them in a fish bowl in William's room because the fountain was still pretty cold. We put a rock in the bowl and fed them some algae pellets. Pretty cool. Overnight, one got out and we found it behind the dresser the next morning. We put a lid on the bowl and put the escaped snail in a different bowl. (We weren't sure if he was dead or not. He wasn't.) Finally, it warmed up enough to put the snails in the pond. Meanwhile, William noticed that one of the snails really liked to get on top of the other snail. Crap. (He also knows that that means they're "mating" but he doesn't actually know what mating means . . . yet.) So fast forward to last weekend when William runs inside and says, "Mommy--one of the snails laid eggs!" Sure enough, one of the snails laid eggs. I have no idea if they'll hatch or not. I have no idea what we'll do with them if they do. No one told me snails mate like rabbits. I clearly had not considered the reproductive habits of snails at all when I bought the damn things. As of now, we can only find two snails in the fountain, so the third one must have bit it along the way. But still, that's one snail too many. So we may be taking a trip to a local pond or stream for a little "release" party soon. I'll keep you posted! Never a dull moment, right?

• Soccer--William only has one more game left this season. He has shown a lot of improvement over the past few weeks and I'm very impressed with how engaged he remains throughout the game. He tries very hard and he seems to enjoy it, and that's exactly what I want for him. He hasn't scored a goal yet, but he's had a few assists, and he's taken the ball from the opposing team several times. He might even miss it a little bit when the season is over.
• Summer--ACK! How is summer here already? I've been working on our "summer list" in my head, looking ahead to figure out our schedule. I'm trying to decide on what pool to join this summer. I'm on waitlists for the two pools closest to our house. There's a pool with no waitlist not too far from our house, and it's $425 to join. Or we could pay $215 for a bounce pass to a group of regional pools. There are five in our area, with one that is very close to our house. But that is the pool that we like the least. It's very crowded all the time. And I'm not always impressed by how clean it is. The boys really like the other pools in the region, but they're all at least 30 minutes from our house, so going to them on weekdays are not an option, and even on the weekends, they're an all-day event. Still, $215 is a lot less than $425. I'm going to try to visit the $425 pool this weekend to check it out. And then I guess I'll make the decision. Either way--SQUEE!!! SUMMER!
• Since my last post, I've managed to be a little more productive. I synced my iPhone and transferred off almost a year's worth of digital photos. I also uploaded some new content for the boys and removed some apps I don't use. I also started Insurgent and stayed up way too late last night reading. (I decided to put down the other books that I wasn't reading anyway. I'll get back to them later!) Now I just need to blog about the boys' birthday parties and add a bunch of pictures, and I'll be good to go. So stay tuned!

Falling off the Wagon

Every day this week, it's been my intention to upload pictures to my blog (to add to the boys birthday letters, and the picture of my sister and her husband and the boys) and to blog about William's Mad Science birthday party. But each night I've sunk into my bed or the couch and watched TV or read magazines or perused Pinterest or Craig's List or Facebook or any of the other tempting Internet time-sucks. I can't think of anything productive I've done this whole week and I'm not feeling all that great about myself. No reading (other than magazines), no meal plan, no blogging, no QT with Ed, no cleaning, no laundry, no organizing.

BUT that was this week and now it's Friday, and I can move on. Tonight I'll focus on laundry and maybe the boys will play outside until it gets dark (and even after it gets dark). Tomorrow, after a soccer game and visit to Ed's grandmother (who needs prayers to get stronger and on her feet again), we'll drop the boys off with Ed's parents and Ed and I will have an entire 24 hours kid-free. I feel crazy pressure to use that time well--to not squander a single precious minute of it. So tonight will also involve coming up with a plan. Ed needs a new suit, so that will take up some of the time. We'll look at rugs at Pottery Barn and then maybe check out Costco, and maybe finally pull the trigger on one. We might look for desks at a furniture store. Maybe we'll just go over our list of priorities for the house and come up with an actual plan. Maybe we'll pick paint colors. ACK--too many possibilities!!!! Maybe we'll just go see a movie. LOL.

Whatever we do, I'm hoping it will recharge me and motivate me and get me geared up for the rest of May. I have been feeling the pinch of time lately, in so many ways. On a daily basis, I feel like I am shortchanging the boys with our long hours away from home. I hate that we get home and then it's rush-rush-rush to get through all the things we need to do each evening. We haven't even had time to enjoy all the wonderful birthday presents William received. And then it's rush-rush-rush in the morning to check off all the things we need to do to get ready for school and work. Adding soccer to our schedule has definitely made things a wee bit more difficult--more than I expected. I'm very glad William is playing and I think he's gaining a lot of skills and I hope he wants to do it again in the fall or maybe next spring. But the logistics of after-school activities is so freakin' hard! After this spring, I've decided that when Seth starts school in 2013, I am going to look for an after-school babysitter to meet the boys at the school bus, to cart them to activities and play dates, to allow them to PLAY AT HOME after school, which is what they want to do most of the time. I realize that things change--things always change. But I feel like it's only going to get more complicated as the boys get older.

In the meantime, I will take a deep breath and I will build up that momentum I had leading into last weekend, and I will keep trying--to be productive, to be organized, to be fun and kind and happy. I will notice all the wonderful and cute and amazing things my kids do. And I will feel so incredibly thankful for all that I have. Why, hello Wagon. Yes, I would like to get back on!

I Did It

I ran in a 4-mile race. I didn't run all 4 miles. But I signed up for it, I trained, and I followed through. That's pretty huge for me. The race was much hillier than I expected. In fact, the first mile was all uphill. So that was fun. (Not) I ran the first mile and alternated walking and running the rest of the race. I finished up with about a half-mile run, with an overall time of 56 minutes. I think in all, I probably ran 2 miles and walked 2 miles. I actually truly enjoyed it, though, and definitely want to do another one.

The boys were there to see me begin the race. In fact, they insisted on seeing me off. And when the race started, Seth clung to my legs and cried while Ed pried him off. All of the runners around me went, "Awwwww." Nice way to start a Mother's Day race, huh? At the finish line, I eagerly anticipated their proud and smiling faces, only to find no one I knew in the crowd. Ed had taken the boys (and my mom) to get something to eat, and they ended up at Silver Diner, where they were happily munching pancakes, bacon, and waffles while I trudged across the finish line. So now, of course, I have to enter another race because, dammit, I want them to see me cross a finish line!

When the boys finally did see me, they asked if I had won. They seemed a little disappointed that I hadn't, but hopefully they will understand that doing your best is more important than winning, and that following through on a commitment--even a commitment to yourself--is worth its weight in gold.

Happy 6th Birthday William!

Dear William,

It blows my mind that you are already six years old. It seems like just yesterday that I was riding home with you from the hospital, sitting next to you while you stared and stared at everything around you, taking it all in, not wanting to miss a thing. And yet, sometimes I can barely remember what you were like as a baby. You are such a big kid now, so independent and capable and full of knowledge. And you are also funny and silly and you love to make people laugh. You are an amazing kid and Daddy and I are so proud of you.

Your sixth year of life has been filled with so many new challenges and you have embraced them all with eagerness and honesty, feeling your way as you go. You are almost finished with kindergarten, and I am blown away by all that you have learned. You can read now, count money, and tell time--among the many other skills you have gained. You have kept a positive attitude and an open heart, and I love how much you love to learn. You have made lots of new friends and truly enjoy playing with and learning from others. You have continued with taekwondo this year and have made so much progress with your skills. And you played soccer for the first time this year. Even though you don't really love it, you give it your all when you're in the game, and I'm so proud of you for that.

Your interests this year have ranged far and wide, but you continue to mostly love non-fiction books and your favorite subjects have been the Titanic, snakes, and submarines. (And venus fly-traps!) You also still love to draw, and I am amazed by the detailed pictures you can draw, straight from your imagination. Speaking of imagination, yours is still going strong, and I love how you and Seth can play train, or rocket ship, or submarine, using everything from boxes to laundry baskets to chairs to beds. I also love how kind you are to Seth (most of the time) and how you encourage him and support him. I know it's not always easy to be his brother, and I appreciate your patience.

I also appreciate your patience with Daddy and me as we figure out how to parent a grade-school kid. We want so much for you and it's so hard to know when to step back and when to take your hand. We are so proud of you for all that you have accomplished this year, for all of the fears you have faced and the challenges you have conquered. You are so thoughtful and caring, sensitive and kind. I hope that you will always have these qualities as you navigate these school-age years. I hope that you will grow a thick skin and the confidence to know how loved and treasured and valued you are, not just by Daddy and me, but by your friends, teachers, coaches, and family. You are a joy to be around, and I am excited to see all the ways you will grow in your seventh year. In the meantime, just know how much we love you and how lucky we feel to have you in our lives.

Love forever,
Mommy

Remembering

I knew May was going to be a crazy month. A good crazy, but crazy. And I know I'm not a very organized person and that I'd have a hard time staying on top of everything. But OMG--I'm so disorganized and not staying on top of anything! I guess I should give myself a little more credit. No major disasters to speak of yet. But I swear--remembering shit is the BAIN of my existence. We've been over the whole list thing before, and I've tried in so many ways to be a list person. I've tried iPhone apps and post-it notes and pads of paper in my purse and spread sheets on my computer and I might just need to start writing things on my hands. 'Cause OMG, I HATE HAVING TO REMEMBER STUFF ALL THE TIME. IT doesn't help that Teacher Appreciation Week was this week. Actually, Seth's school celebrated a week ago and William's school has been this week. Every day for two weeks I've had to remember to bring something in (flowers, chocolate, doughnuts, cards) or have the boys make something (cards, pictures, clay sculptures) or give money to someone. Plus both the boys' spring pictures came in, so I've had to remember to write the checks for pictures and send them to school. I have to remember to write tuition checks because our school doesn't do automatic debit. (Damn them!) William has soccer on Wednesday and Taekwondo on Thursdays so I have to remember cleats and soccer ball and shin guards and water bottle and uniforms and belts. I have to remember the boys' allergy medicine every morning and Clark's butt ointment every morning and night. William's birthday party is this weekend, so I've had to remember to put together goody bags and to make lists of what I still need and keep track of how many kids will be there and call the Mad Science people to work out the details. I have to remember my workout clothes every day, and to charge my iPhone and Kindle and to download Downton Abby episodes so I can watch while I run. I have to remember to do laundry during the week so I have clothes to work out in. (So I don't have to dig a dirty sports bra out of the hamper like I did this morning.) I have to remember a snack for Seth to eat on the way home. I have to remember to get Mother's Day gifts for Ed's mom and my mom. (Oh crap! I KNEW I forgot something.)  I have to remember all my friends' kids' birthdays ('cause most of my friends' kids' birthdays are in May).  (And I know I don't HAVE to, but I WANT to and everyone else is so good about acknowledging stuff like that, and I suck at it!) I have to remember Seth's class performance, and to bring the camera (and extra batteries) so I can videotape it (which means I have to remember to videotape it) and William's class performance. And to bring Seth's backpack and water bottle to school on Fridays for their class walks. I have to remember dentist appointments and emails that I need to respond to. And thank you notes. And grocery lists. And the fact that we need paper towels and toilet paper. I have to remember to leave money for our cleaning woman every other Tuesday. (I LOVE having to remember to leave money for the cleaning woman every other Tuesday.)

I realize these are all things that most normal people handle with very little effort or angst. It's all a part of life and adult responsibilities. Yes, I have a calendar (both on my iPhone and in our kitchen). Yes, I try to do things the night before. Yes, Ed helps. A LOT. But I'm just not built to remember things. It hurts.

But, it feels better to get all of that out. And now I need to go make a list of what I need to remember to do before William's party. I hope all you moms out there have a fantastic mother's day! Send me endurance vibes on Sunday morning as I run (and walk and run and walk) in my first (and most likely last) race. Hopefully I'll be back on Monday with lots of happy things to say. :-)

Weekend Recovery

We had an awesome, fun, VERY busy weekend, and now I am sipping tea and enjoying the relative peace of my office cubicle. Our weekend highlights included:

• Ending Screen-Free week by playing outside Friday night until long after it got dark. We taped flashlights to bikes and scooters and the boys and our next-door neighbors played and played. They made wishes on the Wishing Star (the first star we saw), but then we decided that they had wished on Jupiter by accident, so they wished again on another star. After much-needed baths, the boys went to sleep at 10:00 p.m., completely exhausted and completely happy.
• Stretching Sreen-Free week into the weekend, which turned out to be not difficult at all. The boys woke up and played with toys, did puzzles, and helped make breakfast. I'm happy to report that they did not complain about no TV once during the entire week.
• Going to Taekwondo on Saturday morning and then to an 11:30 a.m. soccer game. William is doing really well with soccer. He stays engaged and tries really hard. I can't say that he "gets" it, or that he anticipates the action on the field. But he seems to enjoy it. Not sure he'll want to do it again in the fall, but we'll see. 
• Taking Clark to the vet on Saturday afternoon. He's an indoor cat and we noticed that his fur on his belly was starting to disappear. Turns out, he has infected/impacted anal sacs (Google it, I dare you), and when cats are in pain, they will often over-groom. He has licked his butt raw, so now he has to wear a cone around his head and we have to put antibiotic ointment on his butt twice a day for two weeks. He is miserable with his cone. But hopefully the ointment is providing some relief. The kids have never been to the Vet's office before, so it was a big adventure for them and they were very well behaved.

• Participating in a neighborhood block party on Sunday. The boys played outside pretty much the entire day. By the end of the afternoon, all 10 of the young kids on our street were out in full force, riding bikes, pulling each other in wagons, fighting, running around, having a ball. Our street neighborhood is small, and there are lots of personalities to navigate, but we are still extremely happy with where we live, almost one year later.
• Hosting my sister and her husband--Aunt Anne and Uncle Greg--for a visit. They live on the West Coast and we rarely see them. My sister had never met Seth! So the boys were super excited to see them, and they got to witness our neighborhood in all its glory. Kids were everywhere--including on our back patio at one point. Seth came out and had a meltdown at one point because all the kids were playing with his tools and wreaking havoc on his workshop. Although I wasn't thrilled with inability to share, it was a timely fit, and everyone quickly cleaned up and cleared out, and we enjoyed dinner on our patio and got to spend QT with Aunt Anne and Uncle Greg. I even took a picture! But I didn't download it from the camera yet.

 So that was our busy but exciting weekend. In between all of that, we went grocery shopping and I managed to run some quick errands while Ed took the boys on a bike ride along the bike trail near our house. I even mostly finished our laundry! May is living up to expectations, but so far, so good! Now if I can just get through this coming weekend--Baba's visit, soccer game, William's birthday party, 4-mile run, and Mother's Day! Hopefully it will be just as fun and exciting.

Monthly Wrap-up

Things are moving right along in the Hahn household. I'm trying not to FREAK OUT that it's May already. Trying not to freak when I look at our calendar and see it filled to the brim. Instead, I'm looking at the calendar and trying to see all of the awesome things we get to do in the next several weeks. Soccer practice, science night, soccer games, taekwondo, family visits (my sister who has NEVER MET SETH is coming--so excited, and my mom will be back for William's birthday), birthday party, school performances, dentist appointments, Mother's Day, 4-mile run, overnight date night.  So much stuff!!! We may even try to go camping over Memorial Day weekend. Maybe. Depends on the weather. And if there are any available campgrounds around here. Which is unlikely.

Anyway, with all of those things to look forward to, I better take a look back at April and see how things are going with my goals. In no particular order:

I have been keeping track of my spending better--updating my categories in Mint.com and paying attention to where my money is going. But that has not translated into reigning in my spending. Ack! I feel like I'm a little out of control. The other day at the grocery store, I spent $175. That's the most I've spent in a weekly shop, and I wasn't even getting stuff for a party or alcohol or any of the usual big-ticket items. I did buy laundry detergent and allergy medicine. But still. Ugh. I also bought a new dress from my fashion-consultant neighbor which is super cute. But I need to get shoes to go with it. So I went online and bought five pairs of shoes to go with it, with the plan to keep two (one pair to dress it up and one to make it more casual) and return the other three. Decent plan, but I don't usually spend big like that in one sitting. It was kind of fun!

Anyway, on to better things. RUNNING! Yes--I'm still training for the 4-mile run. No, I do not think there's any way that I will be able to run the full 4 miles. BUT, I'm doing better every day, running for longer periods of time and feeling pretty good. I'm mostly running on the treadmill, and now I've started watching TV on my Kindle while I run. I never want to run outside again! LOL. Anyway, It's possible that I'll be able to run about 2 miles of the race, and then maybe walk/run the rest of it. Even if I only run one mile, walk a little, run another mile, etc., I will still feel proud of myself. I'm sticking with it and not giving up. And I'm not turning 40 until the end of June, so maybe I'll still have time to reach my 5k goal after all!

Parenting--It's hard for me to judge myself on this goal. I think I'm doing pretty well. I haven't completely lost my temper in a while, and that's pretty good. I've read (and am reading) some good parenting books, so hopefully I'm implementing some of what I've read. They are awesome kids, and I'm pretty proud of them, so that says a lot.

Focus on my marriage/decorating my home/stop biting my nails/take more pictures/send birthday, etc. cards/blog more--all major fails at this point. Although Ed and I will get an overnight date night this month, so that's progress, right?

Clean my house more--CLEANING WOMAN!!!! Enough said.

Meal plan/prep more the night before--Doing pretty well with this (as noted in my last post). I still tend to get lazy about prepping lunches the night before, though. I'm usually scrambling in the morning, which is never fun.

Read at least 24 books this year--Right on track with this one. There are so many books to read right now, though! I get on the waitlist for e-books at our library, and then it seems like three of them become available at once. Ack! And then I have to read them before they become unavailable. So I'm sitting on Insurgent right now, so I can finish Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (which is crazy sad, but I'm compelled to keep reading).

So that's where I am. Not too shabby, I guess. The boys are happy. Life is good. I'm finally getting my hair cut and eyebrows waxed today. What more could a girl ask for?

Meal Planning

Thanks for all your kind comments on my slogging post. And a bunch of you asked about meal planning, so I thought I'd fill you in on how I make meal planning work for me.

But first, before I get into that, I have to mention my dinner date with Tanika on Saturday night! We met halfway between Baltimore and Virginia and enjoyed an awesome dinner and drinks at a very chic Italian restaurant. :-) You'll have to read Tanika's post to see a picture and get a much better description of our evening, but suffice it to say that gab time with girlfriends is AWESOME!!!!

Okay--so back to meal planning. First of all, keep in mind that there is no ONE right way for everyone. Once you start doing it, you'll find that you have to tweak things and things will evolve as you go. You'll find that some weeks/months are better than others. Some weeks, even with a plan, things will go to hell in a hand basket. Just stick with it and be flexible. And if you find that what you're doing now--without a meal plan--works for your family, then don't sweat it! If you're good at keeping track of things in your head and you don't forget things all.the.time, then you're already doing great!

If you're like me, however, and the daily chore of putting together dinner makes you want to jump out of your skin, then a meal plan just might be worth a try. I only go to the grocery store once a week, so I really have to be organized about what I need. I have NO TIME to run to store during the week, unless I go at 9:00 p.m, which I HATE. And I can send Ed, but I just hate for either of us to take the time to do that. So planning helps. It also helps the budget, because I can be very impulsive when I grocery shop!

So begin by making a list of meals that your family likes to eat. Includes sides and veggies, and keep in mind leftovers and desserts. Also include quick, last-minute meals (like cheese and crackers, or sandwiches, or frozen stuff you just quickly heat up). And when you first start out, just start with things you make now for dinner--hot dogs, mac 'n' cheese, chicken nuggets. You don't need to be fancy and you don't have to slave in your kitchen. As you get more accustomed to meal planning, you can start shaking things up a bit and try recipes that you've been wanting to try. I tend to try new things on the weekends, though, when I have more time. It stresses me out to do new stuff during the week.

Next. look at your calendar. Consider what's going on each weeknight, and figure out what nights you'll be able to spend a little more time making dinner, and what nights will need to be quick. For this week, for example, we have an after-school event on Tuesday night, and William has soccer practice on Wednesday night. So we'll do fast food on Tuesday (probably Subway), and on Wednesday, we'll do spaghetti (using jar sauce) and leftovers. The other nights, I'll have a little more time, and the weather is supposed to be nice, so I'll use the grill. Just write down a meal with a side for each night of the week. I try to alternate the kinds of meat I use, so this week, for example, Sunday was fish, tonight will be steak, Wednesday will be meatless (although William will probably eat leftover steak), Thursday will be chicken, and Friday will be tacos. You can also make a lot of something early in the week that can be repurposed later in the week. So I could use the leftover steak from Monday to make fajitas on Thursday. Or I could make extra chicken on Thursday and then make quesadillas for Monday. You get the idea.

The trick to this method for me is that I have to remember to take meat out of the freezer when I need it, and to do whatever prep I need to do beforehand. This is the only way I can make it work on week nights when I don't get home from work until 6:00 p.m. For meat, it has to be able to cook in about 20 minutes or less. Making cutlets out of chicken breasts and boneless pork chops is great for weeknight meals because they cook so quickly. You can marinate them quickly, too, or use a rub, and they get pretty flavorful because they have a lot of surface area per bite. We like breaded cutlets (I fry them in oil), or sauteed cutlets with pan sauce (like pork or chicken picatta, with lemon juice and a little white wine or chicken broth). Lots of options. So for the prep, I'll either do the meat prep when I get home from the grocery store (make the marinades and put the meat in freezer bags with the marinade and into the freezer, or I'll pound out chicken breasts or pork chops and divvy up the cutlets between freezer bags and put them into the freezer), or if I didn't have time to do that, I have to do it the night before I plan to make it.

As for how I keep track of our meal plan, in the past, I just tended to scribble my menu plan on a piece of paper, and on the same piece of paper, I would keep a running list of what I needed from the grocery store. That worked for me, but I really wanted to put something in the kitchen that we could all see (especially Ed), and that would be a better visual daily reminder for me. Our kitchen does not have a lot of wall space, however, and our refrigerator is not magnetic. But I found a space that works and I bought this magnetic dry-erase board from Target. ($13.00)

I got the idea from Pinterest, which led to this website. Her system is crazy, uber-organized. She printed all her meals on magnets and printed different colors for veggies and sides. Mine is not quite as pretty. I just write in our meals, and in the notes section, I jot down my grocery list. I put activities at the bottom (like soccer practice or science night) so I remember to plan meals accordingly. But I don't use it as our complete family planner. This one is just for meals so far. Jotting down my grocery list has been way more helpful than I anticipated. I had been keeping a notebook in my purse where I wrote down my grocery list, but inevitably, I forgot to make a note of something we were out of. With this system, I write things down as soon as I think of them. I do have to transfer this list to something portable to take to the store, but I've been using my grocery store's online list feature, which organizes the list by aisle. I can access the list with my iPhone, and that makes shopping super easy! Also, I don't usually plan more than a week ahead. I tried planning two weeks ahead, and grocery shopping only every other week. But that didn't work well for us. I have to go to the store every weekend anyway for milk and fresh produce. And I need more flexibility than I get with a two-week plan. So for now, just one week ahead works. But as the calendar fills up, I like seeing what we've eaten over the past few weeks. It definitely helps with the planning so that we're not repeating as much.

So that's pretty much my system. Like I said before, it's evolving. And it works best when I get off my ass make the time to prep ahead of time. Buying in bulk is cheaper, of course, but if I don't have the time to spend on separating the meat and putting it into baggies and adding marinades or pounding it thin, or making hamburger patties or meatloaf or whatever, then buying in bulk does not really help much at all. And I'm hoping that my kids' preferences will continue to evolve. They still don't like rice or potatoes. William and Ed don't like casseroles. They're not big fans of soup or chili. And I haven't found many crock pot meals that work well for us--especially since it has to be on for about 10 to 11 hours. So my options are limited. But meal planning certainly helps me stay on top of things, try new things, and generally helps to keep me organized.

So any questions? Did I leave anything out? I'll post this week's menu, as an example:

Sunday: Salmon, corn on the cob, green salad (I used this Montreal steak seasoning marinade for the salmon and it was really, really good!)

Monday: Steak (with the same marinade), roasted potatoes (I drizzle olive oil over diced potatoes and sprinkle with Greek seasoning mix and put them in the toaster oven 'till they're done), asparagus

Tuesday: Fast food night (probably Subway)

Wednesday: Spaghetti or leftover steak

Thursday: Grilled chicken (from the freezer with zesty chicken marinade), broccoli, dinner rolls

Friday: Tacos (using taco-seasoned meat from the freezer)

Saturday: TBD (I often don't know ahead of time what the plans are for Saturday night, so it's usually TBD on my menu plan.)

Books, Books, Books

I've been thinking a lot about books lately--both my own reading list, and what books the boys love. I've come across some lists of "best of" books (like this list of 75 books that build character), and I've been tracking down books at our local library and on Amazon to be sure that I expose the boys to a wide variety of awesome books. In preparation for Screen Free Week coming up, I thought I'd post some books that were my favorites as a kid, and some that have been (and still are) favorites of the boys.

These were some favorites when the boys were infants and toddlers.

(We love all the books by Leslie Patricelli)

These are books they loved back then and still love now from time to time: 

(We have and love the board book--still!--but there's also a full version)

(William will read this book to Seth now)

 (Not sure why, but this was the potty book that both the boys loved the most)

These are some of our standbys--

(Any and all Berenstain Bears books. The boys love 'em!)

 (We also LOVE Ladybug Girl and Bumblebee Boy and Ladybug Girl and the Bug Squad)

 (We own and Seth especially loves ANY and all Little Critter books.)

(This is the sweetest story ever. Makes me cry every time.)

 (This was one of my favorites as a kid and now both boys love it. I have the original printing--the cover I show here--but the link goes to a newly illustrated version. I prefer the original!)

These are some of my favorites, and for the most part, the kids love them, too:

So there you have it. I'm sure I've left off a lot of books that I'm just not thinking about. In addition to books, we also read a lot of magazines, specifically High Five (which is a younger kids version of Highlights) and Ranger Rick (which William has just recently really gotten into). My mom bought the boys subscriptions to both and I love how the boys save every issue, and they like to go back and re-read them. I highly recommend them!

Slogging

LauraC wrote a post yesterday about how she's tired of hearing herself talk and wondering what else she wants to blog about, or if she wants to keep blogging at all. It's a blogexistential crisis! Clearly, I'm facing the same crisis. Why do we blog? What does this blog do for me? Is it an outlet? Or a chore? Is it my way to connect? Is it my baby book? My way to remember? For me, it's all of those things. It's my record of my life, but because I share it publicly and have an "audience," (even if it's just a tiny one) I feel a small obligation to keep it going, and that's a good thing. It's why blogging has worked for me where journaling has failed. I don't want to quit, and I want to blog more often, because I love looking back and I feel like this blog reflects my life pretty accurately. Which is what I'm going for.

But a lot of what I blog about is my personal journey toward being "better"--being more productive, being more organized, getting more sleep, reading more, exercising, being more "present" with the kids, chillaxin' more. And peoples, you can't do it all. I only have so much time each evening and on the weekends, so if I spend time in the evening making marinades for chicken, pork, and steak, and prepping ground beef for the freezer, AND making the next day's lunches, AND getting in some reading . . . well, you get the point.

So think of my lack of blogging as my success in the real world! My freezer is pretty stocked right now. I have hamburgers, meatloaf patties, marinated steak, marinated chicken breasts (two different kinds!), taco meat, frozen shrimp, and shredded chicken, all ready to go. I am on track with my reading goal to read 24 books this year. I have updated my budget on Mint.com and am keeping track of my spending. I am running. And I have been watching Downton Abbey and Ed and I are almost caught up with Breaking Bad. Not too shabby!

I keep asking myself if my parenting has improved this year--if I can honestly say that I'm doing a better job of nurturing my kids, not losing my temper, helping them become independent and considerate and thoughtful little people. Am I actively trying? I guess the jury is still out on this one. My head is in the right place. I've read some really good books and I think I'm on the right track. I guess parenting is always a work in progress, huh?

So back to slogging--this is what it really feels like most of the time. Just trying to get through the day, the week, the month. Trying to enjoy my kids, while also trying to teach them and to guide them and not to kill them and discipline them. Trying to have a good marriage and not annoy the living crap out of my husband. Trying to get through the chores with as little angst as possible. (Wow--does a cleaning woman do wonders for this one!!!) Trying to appreciate, every day, all that is amazing and wonderful about my life. I am so, so fortunate. So I will keep on slogging and sharing my journey. If for no other reason than I will be able to look back and laugh at myself for thinking that this time in my life was hard. These are the good years, right? So I guess I better make them great.

Happy 4th Birthday Seth!

Dear Seth,

Happy 4th birthday! You have brightened our days and filled our lives with laughter, exasperation, love, and wonder for four years now. You are so earnest and stubborn and self-possessed. You want the world to meet you on your terms, and you sometimes get disgruntled when that doesn't happen. But you also manage to recover quickly, asserting yourself in some new and imaginative way. You love to laugh and you love to remember things that made you laugh. And, of course, Daddy and I love to hear your little belly chuckle. It's contagious!

In your fourth year of life, you have learned so much and have grown up so much. There are so many things you can do by yourself, including get dressed! (Even though you usually rope us into helping you.) You have the best imagination and you love to play with William, whether it's "bad guys" or "rocket ship" or "submarine." Lately you have been very engaged in the space toys, and you're even starting to dabble in Legos. You still love your tools, of course, and for Christmas, Daddy turned your playhouse into a workshop, complete with peg board and bench to store everything. You also still love to ride your scooter and just this spring, you started riding the big bike with training wheels. You love it!

So while you are engaging more in playing with toys, you still mostly love to engage with people, and you still love to "help." You are a great worker, helping Daddy clean up the patio and helping me in the kitchen. You can fold laundry now, like washcloths and dish towels and underwear. You can sweep and dust. You can even clean sinks and toilets! As much as you like to help, you don't like doing any task alone. That's okay with me! I'll take what I can get because there will come a time, likely all too soon, when you won't want me around quite so much.

Daddy and I are so excited to watch you get older and to see all of the things you are learning and the ways that you are growing. You are bright and forceful and confident and determined and I hope these traits will stay with you always. We love you so much and we are so proud of the four year old you have become. We promise that we will do our best to nurture you, guide you, comfort you, protect you, and most important, to let you go, little by little--to watch you become the independent person you are so eager to be. We are always here for you, and we are so fortunate to have you for our son. You have taught us so much about passion and fearlessness and about the excitement to be found all around us. We love you and hope you you feel special today, and every day.

Love, Mommy

TV Time

We're coming up on Turn Off the TV week (or something like that) and I'm trying to decide if we'll participate this year. I don't really think we spend too much time watching TV, and the boys are already aware of the idea of moderation being a good thing. But then I wonder if I'm grossly underestimating the amount of "screen time" my kids are actually getting each day. Does "Turn of the TV" mean "Turn off the iPhone/iPad/Kindle" too? If so, that may make things a bit more challenging, if only for Seth who plays with my iPhone in the car on the way to and from school. Now that the weather has gotten nice, we hardly ever watch TV after school--except for about 15 minutes every night while William does his nebulizer. And I really don't think this would be terribly difficult to part with. The hardest part would be Saturday and Sunday mornings, when the kids get to watch TV for an hour or two. (We don't turn the TV on on weekday mornings, so that wouldn't be an issue.) I'm not sure if it would be harder for the boys to give up, or harder for me! (I just googled it, and it's now Screen-Free Week. Guess that answers my question!)

At any rate, these thoughts were mostly inspired by the speaker who attended this week's PTA meeting at William's school. It was Lisa Guernsey, who wrote Screen Time: How Electronic Media - From Baby Videos to Educational Software - Affects Your Young Child.

It was first published in 2007 (and titled

Into the Minds of Babes: How Screen Time Affects Children From Birth to Age Five)

and now she's written an epilogue that covers what little research there is on smartphones and pads. I read it a few years ago and found it really helpful in sorting out the "good" and the "bad" to television and electronic media. Lisa combed through the research studies that exist on the effects of television on infants and little kids and spoke to the researchers, academics, and scientists conducting the studies. It is a very interesting book, and I highly recommend it. But if you don't feel like reading the whole thing, you can get a taste by checking out the epilogue to the new edition.

Basically, what I got out of the book is what Lisa calls the "Three Cs"--Content, Context, and Child. Content matters. Young children gain the most from shows (or even computer games/apps) that are linear, or have straight-line storytelling; that encourage participation and engagement (those annoying pauses when kids are supposed to shout out the answer); have labeling (think SuperWhy); are repetitious, and are non-violent. Context is the way in which your child watches the show--are you watching with your child (I hardly ever do this) and talking about what you are watching? And the Child part--all children are different so what they're watching should be appropriate for their temperament. Also, studies have shown that background TV or talk radio is not conducive for language development with infants and toddlers. They may not be actively watching TV, but it can adversely affect them.

While Guernsey doesn't provide a list of "good" shows and "bad" shows, she does mention some shows in her book that researchers focused on. Shows like Dora, Blues Clues, Super Why, and Barney all had a positive effect on children learning. But therein lies one of the problems with the book--that most of the research available on the effects of screen time for children was initiated or sponsored by the shows themselves. This is not necessarily a bad thing. PBS, for example, wants to develop educational programming, so I would hope that they would conduct research to determine what's effective and what isn't. Arthur and Clifford, for example, are two shows that, it turns out, aren't all that effective in helping kids learn. Both shows have moral dilemmas that get resolved at the end. But until kids are about 7 or 8, they rarely walked away from the episode having grasped its moral lesson. They mostly fixate on the conflict. (Which is where context becomes important--talking to kids about what they watch.) And the sibling depiction in Arthur actually negatively affected sibling relationships. Anyway--back to who is paying for the research. It's just something to keep in mind that Nickelodeon, for example, has a lot riding on its programming, and research that supports its shows as educational or positive would certainly be emphasized by the network.

So where does all of this leave me? I am very guilty of letting the boys watch TV without me. In fact, for a while, I was skipping out on Friday night Movie Night--taking that time to get a few things done, surf the Net, read a book, while the boys watched the movie. And then it hit me that watching TV and watching movies can be a bonding experience--something that the whole family shares. So I am back to FAMILY movie night--where we all watch together. (Although this is so hard when the boys pick stupid movies!) I also let them watch dreadful TV shows, like Power Rangers. (Damn you, Netflix!!!) Fortunately, they also like shows like Dora, Wonder Pets, Backyardigans, SuperWhy, and Curious George. Seth also like Fireman Sam (which I'm a little on the fence about.)

William loves documentaries, which is a whole 'nuther issue. Is it appropriate for him to be watching a documentary on the Marine Corps? Or the the World's Deadliest Snakes? Or Sunken Submarines? And, of course, Seth watches these shows, too. And then there's Phineas and Ferb, which we all love. I think it's a pretty good show, content-wise, but maybe not so much for younger kids. It jumps around between the boys' adventures and Perry's quests. Not sure that there's any moral lesson to it. So maybe it's not exactly benefiting the boys, but is it damaging them? Obviously, time spent watching mindless TV could be time spent reading or using their imagination or engaging in other beneficial activities (puzzles, coloring, blocks). But if moderation is the key, is mindless time such a bad thing?

Which brings us back to the book and the question of quantity--how much time should kids spend watching TV every day? Guernsey stresses quality over quantity. Two hours of Dora is probably better than 30 minutes of Power Rangers. But it's probably obvious that two hours of pretend play is probably better than two hours of Dora. Common sense always reigns, right?

I should also mention that the point chart, where William has to "buy" his TV time with earned points, has also made him much less likely to choose to watch TV. On the weekends, he has sometimes chosen to watch 15 minutes of TV for 10 points, but he doesn't like to spend a full 20 points for one 30-minute show. Of course, he gets 15 minutes free during his nebulizer, but maybe if we participate in Screen-Free Week, he'll find that he doesn't really need that TV fix anyway. So I guess maybe we will participate.

Spring Break 2012

Our spring break trip was great! We left on Tuesday and came back on Saturday, which was pretty much ideal in terms of how long to be gone and how to still get some down time at home. It was also ideal in terms of traffic, since both drives were pretty-much traffic free. The trip to Charlotte took 7 and 1/2 hours (I think we stopped twice--once briefly and once for a good bit) and the trip home was broken up by our stop in Cary to see LauraC's family. On the way home from Cary (which took about 4 and 1/2 hours) we only stopped once, briefly, for a bathroom break. The boys impressed me with their stamina!

As for what we did during our trip, we spent time at Baba's house, playing in her yard, exploring the greenway near her house, and getting bitten by mosquitoes.

We also took the train into the city and visited the Discovery Place museum. The boys had a lot of fun (they even got to pet a snake!) and Baba even bought them souvenirs from the gift shop.

Right as we were walking out, we spied the ultimate gift for William--a live Venus Fly Trap. He was ecstatic. We brought it home and put it outside. The next day, William insisted that we try to feed it. He found a pair of tweezers and we caught a little beetle and put it on one of the open fly trap petals. I was skeptical that we would get any action, but wouldn't you know it--that little bugger closed right up on the beetle! It was pretty cool. Since then, however, our poor little Venus Fly Trap hasn't been looking too good. I don't think it's getting enough light or humidity. But we'll keep trying! Fortunately, I know more now about Venus Fly Traps than I ever wanted to know!

Anyway, back to our trip. After we left Charlotte, we headed to LauraC's house and probably the highlight of our trip--Monster Truck Jam!! William and Seth were super excited to see the monster trucks, but also super excited to see Nate and Alex. None of it disappointed. As usual, Laura and Jon were awesome hosts. Laura and I even got time to chat about deep stuff (and not-so-deep stuff) and hopefully, some of her mad parenting skillz rubbed off on me. (I figure if I get in enough visits, I might actually have a chance of absorbing her awesome parenting style!) (I should also give a shout-out to Jon's mad parenting skillz, too. He is patient and kind but firm--exactly what parents are supposed to be!) After ALL FOUR boys took naps (Yay!), we headed to the Monster Truck Jam and loaded up on popcorn, hot dogs, pretzels, dippin' dots, and beer for the grown-ups. Then we put in our ear plugs and put the headphones on the boys and enjoyed the show. It was a little surreal for us adults. William loved it and Seth was a bit less enthused after the second truck that came out popped a wheelie and then landed on its back.

He got his mojo back after an awesome motorcross display during one of the transitions. The motorcyclists performed all manner of awesome tricks and Seth thought that was really cool.


We finished up our trip on Saturday morning with a Case neighborhood party/Easter egg hunt. The boys loaded up on candy and then we headed out, stopping to visit HeatherV and the Vinson boys before leaving Cary. It was great to see Heather, the boys, and her awesome home. (Her front porch is to die for!) I don't think Ian was thrilled that we were there, but hopefully he'll forgive us. Heather and I had one of those fabulously disjointed and distracted mommy visits, but I loved it all the same and can't wait to see her again!

Although I had valiant plans to take lots of pictures on this trip, it didn't happen. The ones posted here are from my iPhone. I took a few with my point-and-shoot, which I haven't downloaded yet. But those probably aren't worth posting anyway. Laura got some cute pics that she posted on her blog. And since I didn't get any of the boys with my mom, I'm going to redouble my efforts when she comes to visit us for the boys' birthdays.

So that was our spring break! We were glad to get back home and enjoyed the fantastic weather on Easter Sunday by spending most of the day outside. All of the kids on our street hunted for Easter eggs together and spent the rest of the day riding bikes, racing remote control cars, and creating "forts" in the "maze" (paths) behind the townhouses. Now it's back to the grind--back to school, back to work, back to activities and schedules and plans. All good stuff, but it was great to get away for a little while!

Birthday Party, Cheesecake, Jelly Beans, Boom

Ten points if you know where the title of this blog came from! Back to the point at hand--it's birthday party planning time in the Hahn household. Seth's birthday is April 22 and William's is on May 13--Mother's Day this year. Seth's birthday coincides with two of his life-long friends in his class, so last year, we brilliantly combined their birthday party into one. This year, we're doing it again and holding the party at the National Zoo. One of the other moms planned the whole thing, so all we have to do is show up, bring cupcakes, and write a check! And, of course, pray for good weather! His party will take place the week before his birthday, so on his actual birthday, we're going to have a little neighborhood party.

William, meanwhile, has been all over the map as to what kind of birthday party he wants to have. We finally settled on a Mad Science party, where a "scientist" from Mad Science comes to our house and entertains the kids for an hour. William is excited about it, but I'm just realizing that it's going to mean a lot of work for me since we're having it at our house. And we have to figure out how many kids William wants to invite. Fortunately, we're past the point where he has to invite everyone in the class. Whew! I don't think my house could accommodate 24 kids! But even 10 or 15 kids is going to be a lot! We're holding the party the day before William's actual birthday. Because this year, William's actual birthday is on Mother's Day! Poor kid has to share his spotlight with Mom. (Something tells me Mom is not going to get much of that spotlight!) So that will be a busy weekend indeed.

And that's because on William's actual birthday--Mother's Day--I'll be running in a 4-mile race. Aghhhh! It's official. I registered today. I'm running with a friend who has four boys (age 5 and under) and my neighbor, who has a son and a daughter. Our team name is "For the Boys--and Girl." I'm planning on making a t-shirt with a picture of Ed with the boys on the front, and a picture of William on the back with "Happy 6th Birthday William" on it. I think I must be crazy for signing up to do this. Y'all know my history with (and aversion to) exercising. And my decidedly un-goal-orientedness. I don't set goals and actually meet them! That's so unlike me! But here we are--in six weeks, I will run 4 miles. Cray cray.

So that's where things stand this Friday. Williams's spring break started today (he's at his school's spring break camp today) and we're headed to NC next week. I likely won't post much (if at all) but we're planning on having an awesome time! My goal for the week (look at me getting all ambitious now!) is to TAKE PICTURES. Doesn't seem like it would be so hard and yet . . .

Happy Spring everyone!

Finally . . . and Reward Chart Brilliance!

We hired a house cleaner. Woo-hoo! I can not tell you how excited I am about this. It's way, way, way overdue. She's coming every other weeks and will clean bathrooms, the kitchen, dust, mop floors, even change sheets on beds. Her first visit will be in two weeks, so I will clean one last time this weekend. Of course, there is always maintenance in between. We pretty much vacuum once or twice a week regardless, so that won't change. And I'll still have to wipe the toilet seats often. (We're working on it, peoples.) But omg--I'm already feeling so relieved.

So in other news, I had to take YET ANOTHER sick day yesterday. That's three weeks in a row that I've had to take a sick day. This time it was Seth again, with an unexplained fever. On Sunday night he was feeling warm and his temp hovered just under 100. He wasn't acting sick, though, and had no other symptoms. The same on Monday morning. Since it was under 100, I took a chance and drove him to school. He was happy, energetic. I got to my office and then got an email at 10:00 a.m. saying his temp was 100.4 and I needed to come get him. Gah! By the time we got home, his temp was 101 and he was clearly not feeling well. He vegged on the couch and then took a long nap and when he woke up, I gave him Motrin. By dinner time, he felt fine and polished off steak, green beans, and potatoes for dinner. Go figure. Of course, he has to stay home today because his school has a 24-hour fever-free policy. So Ed's on duty today.

And for the brilliant part--most of us already know how brilliant our friend LauraC is. She devised a point chart for her boys that provides positive incentives for wanted behavior. Her kids earn points for doing certain things, and they can cash those points in for rewards. The concept is nothing new, of course. I've seen variations of Laura's chart hundreds of times. (Well, a lot, anyway.) I peppered Laura with a hundred questions about her chart and its implementation. Ed and I discussed it but we were really hung up on the rewards part of it. We did not want to reward our kids for doing things that they're supposed to do. But on the other hand, what we're doing now isn't really working. And as the authors of Freakonomics will attest to, incentives are everything when it comes to human behavior. Soooo, after Laura's results with her chart were so successful, we took the plunge.

We want William (and Seth, too) to take on more responsibilities, which in turn will build self esteem. We also want him to focus on the tasks at hand and do them without needing reminders. For our chart, he has to do things like wake up with a good attitude, get himself dressed, clean up after himself, do his homework/daily reading, pick up his toys, etc. He gets a point for each job he accomplishes and he can choose from a list of rewards, This is where the brilliant part comes in , and it's what I didn't understand when Laura explained the chart to me and talked about it's success. He has to CHOOSE his rewards. He has to decide if he wants to watch TV, or eat dessert, or save his points for something bigger--like a movie at the movie theater, or a trip to the Baltimore Aquarium. So when we get home, if he says, "Can I watch something?" I'll say, "You have ___ points. Do you want to spend  XX now on TV, or save them for something else?" So far this week, he has chosen NOT to watch TV. Amazing. It's not me telling him whether or not he can watch something. HE'S making that decision. Duh! (Actually, the brilliance is in using the delayed gratification tactic and applying it to TV-watching. Although I've tried this before in a simpler way--"You can finish watching this show OR you can take a longer bath OR I'll read an extra book to you." Maybe the difference is the alternative to TV watching hasn't been motivating enough. Or maybe William has just reached a maturity where he can appreciate delayed gratification. Who knows.)

Anyway, I feel like I've been so dense in not seeing this aspect of the rewards chart before. Of course, we're only in the first week of it. And I'm tweaking the point values, trying to figure out how to make the rewards easy enough to earn so that he stays motivated, but hard enough that he's really earning them and not getting everything he wants. Last night he bought dessert (he had to finish his dinner first), but he fastidiously stayed away from the living room while Seth watched TV. And he's also made his bed in the morning three days in a row because he gets an extra point for that. Score! As with all things, we'll see how long this lasts. I'm not good with starting new habits and following through on things. I'll probably forget about it and will lapse into my old ways. But maybe not. Maybe William will stay motivated. So a HUGE thank you to LauraC for all of her patience and answers and for getting the whole ball rolling.

Soccer

We signed William up for spring soccer this year. His season gets under way on Wednesday with his first practice. He's on a team with 3 other kids in his class, so I'm hoping he'll feel comfortable right off the bat. He's never played a team sport before, so we'll see what happens. We had a choice of playing either t-ball or soccer, and he chose soccer. So I guess if he doesn't like soccer this year, we'll try t-ball next year.

Speaking of sports. on Friday night his school held a big event called "March Mayhem." It was a huge fundraiser for the elementary PTA. The elementary school teachers play the junior high school teachers in a basketball game, and there's a big raffle for themed baskets donated by each class. William's PE teacher and his assistant teacher both played in the game and William had a blast watching them and cheering them on. He sat on the bleachers with four of his buddies and they all looked so grown up. And so cute! Maybe next fall he'll want to play basketball, too. He also mentioned hockey again, and said he wants to take more ice skating lessons. Aghhh! Too many choices! But I want him to find what he enjoys so we'll keep looking.

Anyway--back to soccer. Since his first practice is Wednesday, this weekend we needed to get his gear--cleats, shin guards, soccer shorts, and a ball. I missed the big exchange sale--where families bring their gently used gear for sale or exchange. And there isn't a used sporting goods store close to us. So we headed to the closest sporting goods store and got William all decked out for a mere $55. (Gulp!) That's okay--it will probably all go to Seth eventually. And then resale. William was happy with his gear and played with his soccer ball in the afternoon. I'll get some pictures of him on Wednesday at practice. The only problem with practice is that it starts at 5:30, which means we'll have to figure out how to get him there on time. But we knew going in that it would be tricky!

So other than soccer prep, we didn't do a whole lot over the weekend. The weather was pretty dreary on Saturday so the boys played inside and we all took a nap on Saturday afternoon. (The perfect thing to do when it's wet and cold outside!) On Sunday afternoon, it got nice again and the boys played outside for a good three hours. Love it! I did force myself to go for a run on Sunday morning. (Even though it was still drizzling and cold outside.) I'm supposed to run 4 miles on Mother's Day, but I'm beginning to feel doubtful that I'll ever be able to run that far. Three minutes without stopping was a struggle this weekend! But I will not give up. So this brings me to my request--give me you workout tunes! I need to make a good running mix. I don't really care about pace at this point--just name some tunes you love to run to. I'm hopelessly outdated when it comes to music. I never listen to current stuff, so I need all the help I can get. Thanks in advance!

Over Parenting?

As the boys played outside last night after dinner (a dinner of cereal, hot dogs, and asparagus), I was talking with one of our neighbors and her boyfriend about how much parents supervise their kids today versus when we were growing up. I was lamenting the fact that my kids insist on playing out front and riding their bikes, rather than playing in our enclosed back patio, which means I have to stand outside with them and supervise. At what age can I send them outside and not feel like the neglectful parent? We laughed about all the unsupervised time we had outside as kids and all the antics we managed to pull off without killing ourselves.

Of course, 2012 is a much different time than the 1970s and 1980s. And we live in a much more urban area than where I grew up. There's a lot more traffic and a lot more crime. But still, what are my kids missing out on by not being able to explore and interact with other kids and make decisions completely by themselves? And what am I neglecting to teach them about responsibility simply because I never leave them alone outside? I lecture them over and over about not walking or riding into the street without looking first. About keeping their eyes up when they're walking and paying attention to what's around them. We've  gone over stranger danger and where they live and phone numbers. All of those things are good and important. But I feel like they should have more independence than I'm giving them. (Well, William should. Maybe not Seth--not quite yet.)

I realize, too, that part of the reason I stand outside while my kids play is because they want me to. My kids have an aversion to doing anything without me. And I fear that this is completely my fault. I fall victim to working mommy guilt--the idea that I'm away from my kids all day, every weekday, so when I'm home, I need to give the kids all of my attention. I need to soak up as much time with them as I can. I need to make the most of the time I have with them. Of course, this means that I often neglect myself, and worse, I often neglect Ed. Not good for my sanity nor my marriage. It's ironic that studies show that moms today--even moms who work full time outside the home--actually spend more hours per week with their children than moms did 20 and 30 years ago. More time than moms who stayed home full time! (See this article, for example.) So what gives? I'm starting to completely buy into the idea of "benign neglect" that's also been floating around the media lately. (Just Google it and you'll see what I mean.)

But how do I get the kids to buy into the idea of benign neglect, given the fact that I've been a hoverer for most of their lives? Therein lies the dilemma. The bigger dilemma, however, is how do I convince myself that I'm not missing out on anything by not being present with my kids? At the risk of using a laughable cliche, where's the balance? I want independent and responsible kids, and I don't want them to feel neglected and I want to know them and I want them to feel close to me. Is that really too much to ask?

A Long Time Ago . . .

. . . (back in February) LauraC had a little contest where she posed a bunch of questions and gave a Starbucks card to the person whose answers entertained her the most. Well, I'm nothing if not a procrastinator, so here are my answers! (In case you were jonesing to know more about me!)

1. What is your favorite Girl Scout cookie? Definitely Samoas.

2. What is the one item on which you always splurge? Fresh fish/seafood at the grocery store. And Shiner Bock beer. Or alcohol in general--I always feel like that's a splurge.

3. What's the best book you've read in the last 10 years? There's no way I could pick just one. I loved the Hunger Games trilogy. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. The Book Thief.
 
4. What is your favorite summer drink? Thanks to LauraC and Lindsay, it's now Margarita Punch!

5. Spring or fall? Spring (I love fall, too. But spring is such a welcome change from winter. Whereas I love summer, so fall isn't quite as highly anticipated.)
 
6. If you are not doing your dream job right now, what would it be? I love what I do, but in another life, I think I'd want to go into early childhood development.

7. Is there a better movie role model than Maude? Probably not. (My mother loves you already btw!) Although Susan Sarandon has played two of my favorites, Louise and Annie Savoy.

8. If you had $100 to spend at Target, what would you buy? Baskets and picture frames.

9. Have you ever tried boxed wine? If it was good, what was the brand? Probably, but I don't remember it.

10. If you could meet one blogger who would it be? Liz Gumbinner of Mom 101.

11. If I could photograph you doing anything, what would it be? Running, because it's so completely out of character for me and it's hard to believe I'm actually doing it. I need proof!

Now that I've answered those questions, there were a few questions that Laura answered that I also want to answer:

12. Where do you buy most of your clothes? I hardly ever buy clothes, but when I do, it's usually L.L. Bean, Lands End, Kohls, J.C. Penney, or Chadwicks. And mostly on-line.


13. Is there a song that you always have to sing aloud every time? Pretty much any Disney song from the 90s. And Party in the USA. And Indigo Girls. And pretty much any song I know the words to.


14. Do you prefer beach or mountains and why? I'm a beach girl, born and raised in Florida. The beach is endlessly entertaining and calming to me.


15. Do you still hang out with any of your childhood friends? My three besties and I have known each other since middle school (and some of us since elementary school). We get together faithfully once a year (which I blog about here, here, here, and here) and my life would feel so empty without them!


16. If you were deserted on an island and could only have 3 beauty items, what would they be (not basic hygiene)? My face lotion (Oil of Olay Complete sensitive skin with SPF), lip balm of some sort, and I don't know what the third item would be. Am I alone on the island, or with other people? If I'm with other people, then maybe eyeliner.

(Thanks for the inspiration LauraC!) 

No Really, I'm Still Here!

I have no idea why I haven't been blogging. Well--it's partly because my laptop is still broken and I've been busy at work. Also because the weather has been GORGEOUS, and combined with the time change, we've spent just about every evening outside with all the neighbors--pushing our daily bedtime to the max. And there really hasn't been a whole lot of blog-worthy thoughts going through my head. So, I will try to do some catching up, bullet-point style, to get myself back in the groove.

• Last week, Seth was sick. I think it started off as a cold, but he ended up wheezing and had a slight fever. So we stayed home on Tuesday and Wednesday. Which happened to be gorgeous days. Nice!
• Today, William is home sick. He woke up yesterday morning with a fever and then started vomiting. Fortunately, the vomiting stopped around 2 p.m., but he still had a fever around 2:30 a.m., so we're home. I kept Seth home, too, rather than driving him to D.C. Did I mention that today is also a gorgeous day? Darn. (Where's the sarcasm font when you need it?)
• I finished my mega-huge project at work. It will never actually be finished--there will always be improvements to be made and new info to add--but it's launched! Check it out: States in the Senate
• I am gearing up to FINALLY start doing some home decorating. I know--been saying this for a while now. But we're coming up on our one-year anniversary of living here, and since we've pretty much DONE NOTHING, I think it's time to actually start doing something.
• Speaking of actually doing something, I started my training for the 4-mile run on Mother's Day. I'm doing C25K, and have finished the first two weeks. Today starts Week Three, Day 1. I've been doing two workouts a week on the treadmill and one workout outside. Seems to be working okay so far. But street running is definitely harder than the treadmill. Especially since my neighborhood is hilly. 
• The boys are doing well. I'm trying to remember what we've been doing over the past several weeks. I took the boys to the science museum in Baltimore a few weeks back, and to the World-War-II-era submarine they have docked at Inner Harbor. They really enjoyed both. The boys went to Ed's uncle's farm on Saturday and had fun riding horses, the tractor, the ATV, and the Gator. I stayed home to clean. (I definitely got the short end of that stick!) In between those events, I have no idea what we've done. (This is why I need to keep up with my blogging!) Seems like there were some birthday parties we attended. Some family events. Lots of hanging out at home, playing. Lots of trips to Target and the grocery store.
• Speaking of Target and the grocery store, I have been spending so much money lately at both of those places. I can't seem to get a grip on my finances. We hardly ever eat out, and I pack William's lunch every day, and I've been buying fresh fish about once a week. So all of those things are factors. But wow--I'm torn between trying to be really frugal on the one hand, but then just saying--Eff it, I don't have to nickel and dime myself to death over groceries! We can afford it. I can buy fresh seafood and organic, free-range eggs and chicken when I feel like it! I'm sure there's a happy medium. I think my first step is to get back on the Quicken bandwagon and track my expenses so I know what I'm really spending.
• Speaking of eating at home, I've been doing pretty well with the menu planning and the follow-through.It's been hard to put dinner together once we get home, though, no matter how much planning I've done. The boys want to play outside, and the rest of the neighborhood is out. And frankly, playing outside and socializing is always preferable to food preparation!
• That's about all I can think of. See--told you there aren't too many blog-worthy thoughts rolling around in my head. Time flies and life marches onward. Things are good and I can't really complain. Spring break is coming up and the boys and I will be heading to North Carolina to visit Baba and Uncle Chris. We'll stop at LauraC's on the way home. I was definitely looking forward to time off, but after all these sick days, I'm not feeling quite as needy! That's okay--I'm still looking forward to the trip.
• Looking forward--my goals are to keep up with my reading (finally finished 11/22/63), keep up with my C25K training, and focus on getting my house in order. And I'm still working on better parenting. This has been a good month, for the most part. Of course, there's always room for improvement on that front. Hopefully you will hear more from me in the future!