Girls' Weekend '09

This past Friday I dropped the boys off at daycare, met Ed at his work so we could switch cars (we only have one car seat for each of the boys at this point), and made my way to the airport. Girls' Weekend '09 officially began when my friend MJ picked me up at the airport at 2:00 p.m., with her adorable daughter LMJ in tow. We met up with ME and TF at MJ's house (after I got to spend a little time with LMJ) and then headed out for the beach. The laughter and relaxation began immediately, and I don't think I stopped smiling the whole weekend.

What I wrote about Girls' Weekend last year still holds true. These girls know me better than anyone, and they love me anyway. I could not ask for better friends--caring, accepting, forgiving, challenging. This year's weekend was a little different than last. I think as we get older, we get a little more introspective and we appreciate what we have a little bit more. This year was all about eating and talking. But mostly talking. We laughed until we cried, ate shrimp, revealed long-held secrets, and played Clue and Bananagrams. We stayed up late, got up early, took walks on the beach, and talked about our kids, our husbands, our jobs, and politics (thanks to TF!). We decided that in five years, we're going to go on a Disney cruise with our kids, who will be 13, 10, 10, 8, 7, 6, and 5. I'm sure we're gluttons for punishment, but I also know it will be a blast.

I cannot wait for Girls' Weekend '10. I wonder where we will all be in our life's journey next year. There have only been two years out of the eight that we've been getting together where no one was pregnant or pumping. One of us may not be done having kids, but only time will tell. Whatever happens, I know that every year brings us closer and I hope that every year makes me a better person, as the best of them wears off on me.


So thank you, girls, for your continued support, your laughter, your love--your friendship. Can't wait 'till next year!

Buzz Cut

Today we had a "stay-home day," which is what William calls Saturdays, Sundays, holidays, and sick days. Both boys had doctor's appointments--well visits--right in the middle of the day, so it was easier to stay home. This morning, William said he wanted to get his haircut. There's a family barber shop right down the street from us, so I thought we'd give it a try. I should have thought about the fact that we're very close to a military base, with military families all around us.

The very nice woman who cut William's hair asked me how I wanted it cut. I said to "just trim it up." Boy did she!
He's still pretty cute! And he likes it, so that's what really matters. He saw himself in the car mirror before we went to the doctor's and he said, "Mommy, look at me! I'm handsome!" I said "Yes you are, buddy!"

The rest of our day was great. William got one shot, but he was very brave about it. He cried for a minute afterward, but then he was fine. Seth got two shots, but he got over them pretty quickly, too. We went to McDonald's for lunch, and then home for naps. Seth took a good long nap, but William and I watched Wall-E. Then we played outside until a rainstorm looked imminent. I brought out the camera and got some good pictures.



I'm so glad I took the whole day to spend with the boys before my girls' weekend. Hopefully it will make it a little bit easier to go back to work on Monday.

Evening Zen

I've written before about how my evenings are challenging, to say the least. We usually don't get home until a little before 6:00 p.m. William usually wants to play in the car for at least 10 or 15 minutes once we get home, and then he'll want to play outside. By the time we get into the house (once I've managed to talk William into coming inside) Seth is usually hungry and ready to eat. My goal is to get dinner on the table at 6:30, but what usually happens is that I feed Seth bits and pieces of things as he clings to my legs and whines while I'm getting dinner together and William plays, and we don't actually eat dinner until 6:45 or closer to 7:00. Fortunately, Seth likes to eat, so even though he's been snacking, he'll still sit in his high chair and eat dinner. Unlike William, who couldn't care less about eating and won't sit still in a chair at the table to eat for anything in this world.

So tonight, I changed things up a bit. After the requisite 10 minutes or so playing in the car, I brought the kids inside, quickly changed my clothes, and gathered up the pork chops I had prepared this morning. I brought the kids outside on the patio and grilled the pork chops while they played. William started in the sand box and Seth started with the water table. Then William took his tricycle for a spin, and explored the drainage basin. (There's a big drainage basin behind our row of townhouses--to catch rainwater. It's dry except when it rains.) Then he got a few of his sandbox trucks and played in the mulch around the trees. Seth found the watering can and diligently played with that. It was so relaxing watching the boys play happily while I cooked.

My plan was a bit flawed, though, in that I hadn't prepared any sides to go with dinner. Once we finally went inside it was 6:45. Seth immediately realized he was hungry, so I gave him a cracker and some frozen fruit in his high chair. I cut up the pork chops and nuked some veggies. I cut up watermelon for the boys, too. So their dinner was kind of piecemeal--I served as I went along. But Ed came home right as we were coming inside, so he got to eat with the boys, which was nice. And Seth ate the pork chops, which was nice. And the nicest part of all was that it wasn't a PITA trying to cook and keep the boys entertained.

So I'm going to try to plan meals on the grill A LOT. And I'll prepare veggie packets to throw on the grill, too. Maybe we can get a new grill with a burner on the side and I can even boil water for pasta or mac-n-cheese. The possibilities are endless! Now if I could just figure out how to get home a little earlier . . .

Scrappy-Doo

Ed has started calling Seth "Scrappy-Doo." It's an apt nickname, as we got to feel the wrath of Seth all weekend--always ready for a fight! His personality is coming out in full force. It's partly humorous but mostly terrifying. I'm going to have to learn how to deal with a very headstrong child. He wants what he wants when he wants it. He throws fits, kicks me when I change his diaper, and his latest move--he's hitting.

It's very deliberate, and very defiant, and it cracks me up. At the pool today, he got mad at me for not letting him take the cover off the filter. He kicked his feet and dropped to the ground, and then he got up and walked to the fence and hit the fence. At least it wasn't me! At dinner time, I wouldn't let him sit on my lap while I ate, so he threw a fit and then walked over to William and tried to hit William. But William wasn't paying any attention to him, so then he came back to me and tried to hit me. For now, if he hits, I tell him "No hitting. Hitting hurts." And I make him sit down. I don't know how effective this is. He tried to hit Ed earlier today, and Ed put him in his crib for a minute. Such a temper!

He's also "Scrappy" because he looks like he's gone 10 rounds in a prize fight. He has a scrape on his head, an almost-black eye, and various bruises. I think I've said this before, but he has absolutely no sense of his own limitations.

It hasn't occurred to him that he can't walk downstairs or stand up on chairs or climb onto tables. He's a tough cookie.

Despite the battles we fought with Scrappy, we had a great weekend. I remained productive--finishing laundry, mopping the kitchen floor, cleaning bathroom sinks and toilets, vacuuming the basement, and grocery shopping. In between, we played inside, played outside, and took the boys in their new wagon to the school playground.

William had a crazy busy day today. This morning, I took both boys to the grocery store, Then Ed took William with him to change the oil in the minivan. Then I took both boys shopping with me to Ann Taylor Loft. (I must be insane for taking both boys when I needed to try on clothes!) I'm sure the employees and other shoppers were giving me evil looks, but I could not have cared less. I let Seth out of the stroller in the dressing room to get him to stop shrieking. I realize it was a big mistake as I was half dressed and he and William crawled out from under the door and started peeking under other doors. The saleswoman was not amused. I was! (Well, maybe she was slightly amused!) Anyway, I digress. I got my shirt and pants and got the heck out of there. I treated the boys to some icecream that they got to eat by an outdoor water fountain in the plaza by the store. They both ran around to their hearts content, getting ice cream all over them. And they both fell asleep on the way home. After we got home, Ed took William to the fishing pond in his wagon while Seth finished his nap. And when they got back, I took both boys swimming (by myself!). I don't know how we managed to cram so much into the day, but it was worth it.

This week will be busy--getting myself ready for Girls' Weekend '09 (can't wait!!!) and the boys ready for their weekend with Daddy at Grandma and Grandpa's. I'm glad we had a great weekend. Although I'm really looking forward to getting away, I hate missing weekends with the kids. I have so little time with them as it is. But ultimately, it's good for everyone to get away every once in a while. I just wish I could have a few days with the boys when I get back, to make up for it.

Finished for Friday

I've been wanting to participate in Finished for Friday (hosted by Lit and Laundry) for a while now, but since I'm not very, how shall we say, organized, this post has been eluding me. But here it is! I actually accomplished a few things this week!

1. Wrote and delivered thank-you notes for William's birthday presents. At first, I got William to do a few with me, so I wrote them from his perspective. ("Dear Walter, Thank you for the books. I love Clifford and Thomas, and Mommy read them to me at bedtime. Thank you for coming to my birthday party. Love, William.) He mostly dictated his sentiments. I took a bit of liberty with the phrasing. But after the second note, he lost interest. So I continued writing the notes from his perspective, even though it felt weird. But the point is, they're done!

2. Returned library books ON TIME!!!! This is huge for me. I'm missing the gene that helps people return things in a timely manner. (Never lend me anything--unless it's okay if you never see it again!) So remembering to get the books back, and actually doing it, are big accomplishments.

3. Stuck with the menu plan this week. I forgot to thaw the chicken breasts for tonight's dinner, but I have frozen chicken tenders that thaw quickly, and I can use those instead. This week we had steak, asparagus, and diced potatoes (carried over from last week); salmon and corn on the cobb; turkey enchiladas (kids didn't like them, and neither did Ed); leftovers (kids had mac-n-cheese and broccoli); and tonight I'll make the chicken tenders and some frozen veggie and dinner rolls.

4. Brought lunch to work every day for two weeks! Last week, I made the hamburger cheese noodle bake for dinner on Monday, and then ate the leftovers for lunch every day that week. I was very tired of it by Friday, but I didn't buy lunch at all! This week, I've been eating leftover enchiladas. Again--not very interesting. But nothing went to waste, and I didn't buy lunch all week.

5. Bought train tickets to New York City for 4th of July weekend. I'm so excited about this trip! We're going to see friends who live in Westchester County. This is one of my closest girlfriends, whom I have known since we were 11! She has a five-year-old son and a six-month-old daughter (whom I have never met), and William is going to love riding the train and seeing JE. And I can't wait to see their new house and spend time with them. Yay for summer plans!

6. Also started looking into a possible beach weekend for the family in September. This may or may not happen, but I know the kids will love it if we can swing it. (And so will I!)

7. I actually made progress on the book I've been trying to read: Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver. I like it, but it's a little too preachy. Maybe that's not fair. She definitely inspires me to buy local and consider what's in season. I looked into a local CSA, but they're very popular in our area, and the ones that deliver directly to your door are already sold out this season and have wait lists for next season. And anyway, I'm sure that so much of it would go to waste in our house. We're not huge vegetable eaters, and I don't think it's realistic to think I'll come up with 5 or 10 recipes for unique ways to make kale or rhubarb, or other out-of-the norm veggies. It's definitely something I'll consider for the future, though. I'd also like to look into buying free-range beef, pork and chicken. But since we don't have an extra freezer right now, that will have to be put off, too. I will, however, make it a point to visit our local farmer's market that sets up on Friday afternoons near my house. It closes at 7:00, which means we'll have to go on our way home from work, which will set us back a bit in the way of a schedule. But some things are worth being flexible for.

So those are my accomplishments for the week. Not bad! I can't say that I'll participate in Finsihed for Friday every Friday, but it feels really good to finally get one in!

Overheard

I want to remember all of the cute things that William mispronounces at this age. I think I already mentioned the "gazebra" instead of "gazebo." This morning, when we walked outside, William said, "Why is it froggy, Mommy?" I laughed as I corrected him, "You mean foggy, William?" I kind of like froggy mornings. Don't you?

Edited to add:

Exhaust is "ka-zaust"
Ignition is "ga-nition" or "re-mition"

Birthday Party Redux

William had a fantastic time at his birthday party. It all went down as planned, and even ended right on time. My mom and MIL and FIL were all Godsends--such a huge help before and during the event. My mom had bought several different toy tractors, and the Little People farm, so we used those as centerpieces on the tables, which was brilliant because the kids played with them throughout the party. We had plenty of drinks and plenty of food. The pizza arrived right on time, and it was excellent. My mom had cut up watermelon and cantaloupe for an awesome fruit salad. My FIL helped set up the tables and chairs in the party room, and then helped break them down when the party was over. My MIL helped watch the boys while we set things up and cleaned up afterwards. And I think most of the families enjoyed the farm. There were lots of babies--calfs, lambs, piglets--and the weather was great.

I didn't get any pictures of William or the other kids on the farm, unfortunately. But Ed did a good job with the camera when we went inside for pizza and cake. So here are the pictures!

The cake:


The cupcakes:
The party:
Singing Happy Birthday:
Enjoying cake:

Of course, like any party, I didn't get to spend as much time with all the guests as I would have liked. But that's par for the course, I guess. All in all, it was a huge success, and William loved it, which was the best part of all.

Party Time

Thanks for all of your comments yesterday. It's nice to know everyone's been there (more or less!). We had a very nice evening, so the day ended positively. Ed got home a little early, we ate dinner outside on the deck, and both boys were in bed by 8:00. Once Seth was down, and William and Ed were happily reading books in William's bed, ("No Daddy--lie down! Lie down right here!") I took off for some late-night errands. William's birthday party is on Saturday, so nothing like waiting until the last minute to get prepared!

Luckily, my mom is coming (my saving grace when it comes to any party planning) and she managed to find John Deere party supplies (plates, napkins, tablecloths) at a party store near her. We're having his party at a local working farm, so the John Deere tractor theme is definitely in order. My mantra for this party, however, has been to keep things simple. It's difficult for my mom to keep things simple though--she's a party planner extraordinaire. She'll tell you it's easy, or no trouble, but she'll offer every kind of beverage under the sun, and she'll get cans and cups and ice--just to please everyone, because, you know, some people don't like drinking out of cans and prefer ice with their drinks. And she'll include five different sides, and appetizers, too, and at least three or four sweets (in addition to the birthday cake!). And we haven't even gotten into the decorating. We're talking centerpieces and flowers and tablecloths. "No trouble at all!" Her parties are awesome, though, and it's hard for me not to plan in the same way. BUT--it stresses me out, and I don't want to be stressed out. Simple is better--simple is better--simple is better.

Sooooo . . .

The party starts at 10:00 a.m., and when kids arrive, we have snack-size bags of goldfish for them and water/juice. From there, it's free time on the farm until 11:30, and then we'll all take a hayride (pulled by an old-fashioned tractor). Following the hayride, we head to the party room for lunch and cake. We're ordering pizza for lunch, which will be delivered directly to the party room. We're bringing watermelon as a side (maybe a melon medley, if my mom has her way), and there will be cake for dessert. For drinks I bought bottled water, Capri Suns 100% juice for the kids, and cans of coke and lemonade for the adults. We'll cool the drinks in a cooler of ice the morning of the party, so they'll be nice and cold for everyone. (No cups, no ice for drinks, no pouring anything.) For decorations, we'll get balloons, and we have tablecloths for the tables. My mom mentioned something about bales of hay and tractors for decorations, so I'm leaving that up to her. I'm making a tractor cake and cupcakes, and after cake, everyone goes home with their party favors. The favors are a green bag with one John Deere fruit snack, a small playdough, and a small thing of bubbles.

Simple enough for you? I got a lot done last night--have all the drinks, the stuff for party favors, the gold fish snacks, and the cake supplies. My mom has the plates, napkins, and tablecloths. Tonight I'll make the cake and cupcakes, to be iced tomorrow night. And tonight I'll go to the grocery store and get a watermelon and maybe a cantaloupe and honeydew. On Friday evening, I'll ice the cake and cupcakes and the plan is for William and Ed to stuff the goody bags. On Saturday morning, we'll have to pick up ice and the balloons.

So that's the plan. When I booked William's party for Memorial Day weekend, I really hesitated, because I figured most of his friends would be out of town. But the farm wasn't available any other weekend, so I went ahead with it. I figured if he had 6 or 7 friends come, that would be a success. Well, there are 12 kids coming, and 17 adults! The weather is supposed to be great--maybe a little on the hot side, but that's okay. Anything's better than rain! The farm is a little bit out-of-the-way, and not many people know about it, so I'm hoping that families will enjoy the chance to do something new and family-oriented. We welcomed siblings, so I think families appreciate that.

I'm kicking myself right now for not thinking to hire a photographer for the day (like Laura did for her twins' party--brilliant!). My mom and MIL and FIL will all be there, but none of them are great with a camera. But hopefully, we'll get some great pictures anyway. So stay tuned!

Deep Breaths

This morning as I drove to work, I had to take a lot of deep, calming breaths. There wasn't any specific incident that precipitated my angst. But the stress of the morning rush just got to me.

Of course, it didn't help that Seth is teething and woke up at 4:45 and didn't go back down for half an hour. And then when he woke up for the day, he spent the whole morning either whining, or clinging to me, or screeching. And instead of feeling empathy or sympathy for him, I was feeling angry and resentful. (Poor Seth!)

And it didn't help that I woke up late, and that I hadn't done much prep work the night before (because Ed didn't get home until 10 p.m.) which meant that I was running around trying to get breakfast prepared and sippy cups ready and my lunch together.

And it didn't help that I was also trying to feed Seth a yogurt drink because I'm out of regular yogurt but I want him to have yogurt because of the thrush, but all he wanted to do was play with the straw (which also made me angry and resentful, which then made me feel bad for feeling that way).

And it didn't help that Ed was just standing around waiting for me because when I get to a certain stress level, I'm incapable of delegating and even though you'd think he'd know by now what needs to be done in the morning, he doesn't do anything unless I ask him to.

And it didn't help that William discovered his portfolio from school, which I brought home last night to look over before our parent-teacher conference today, and spent the whole morning pouring over the pictures and calling out, "Hey look! I'm playing blocks with Annika!" "Mommy, look at me! I was holding marshmallows!" "Hey Mommy! There's you!" I wanted to sit down and look at the portfolio with him, because he was having such a good time remembering and seeing himself and his friends. I felt like that was a lost moment--something I could have shared with him.

So by the time I got in the car with both boys buckled in (Ed finally got to do his usual part in the morning routine by putting my things in the car and getting William's shoes on and getting William in his car seat) and the sippy cups and William's breakfast in their proper places, deep, calming breaths were definitely in order. I hate feeling stressed by a routine that we perform every single day. And I hate feeling stressed when I know there are ways to make it go smoother--from preparing more the night before, being able to delegate to Ed, or getting him to take over more responsibilities (before you get all down on Ed, I'm a bit of a control freak and I don't like the way he performs certain tasks, so that's something I clearly need to get over!), and practicing "serenity now" in the heat of the moment.

Mostly, it makes me feel bad because it becomes so clear to me that I am not good at remaining even-keeled. I lose my temper so easily, and I throw mini-temper tantrums that are so completely uncalled for. It's so embarassing. And the worst part is that my kids witness it all. I hate even admitting this, but this is what motherhood has brought out in me. Before kids, I thought I was a pretty laid-back person. I hardly ever felt stressed about anything. Since I've had kids, though, the high-strung part of my personality has come out in full force! But what I need to remember is that when I'm making a very conscience effort to remain calm, it works. Deep breaths work. Taking one minute to think about how much I love my kids and my husband helps put everythign in perspective. And thinking about what behavior I want to model for my kids can put me to shame and straighten me up right away. Maybe this "confession" will help keep me on the right path, and the part of me that knows better will take over when the other part of me loses control. I hate that part of me--I really do.

Weekend Report--and Menu Plan Monday

We had a really good weekend. We managed to get a lot done, while also spending lots of quality time together--the ideal combination when you're a WOTH mom!

Saturday morning didn't start off so great. After changing the light bulb in my closet, I was trying to reattach the glass cover with these tiny little screws, but apparently, I didn't screw in it correctly and glass cover fell and hit the shelf coming down and shattered into a million pieces. On top of that, I had to take Seth to the doctor because it looked like he had thrush. Ed cleaned up my closet while I got the boys dressed. Then I took Seth to the doctor (and sure enough, he has thrush! How the heck he got it, I have no idea, but such is life.) Meanwhile, Ed took William to Home Depot. Seth napped when we got back from the doctor, so I had time to clean bathrooms and start laundry. Fortunately, the day was looking up.

After lunch, William was not the least bit tired (even though I enforced a 30-minute "quiet time" on him, thinking he'd fall asleep), so Ed took him fishing. I played with Seth and did more laundry and cleaning. When Ed and William got home, Ed cut the grass while I played with the boys outside. After Seth went down for his afternoon nap, William and I played and went to the playground. We met some neighbors there, and one of the kids had a stomp rocket. William had a blast taking turns with the little girl and riding his tricycle around. When Seth woke up, he and Ed came out, and by then, even more neighbors had joined us. The kids played and the grownups talked. We are definitely loving the new neighborhood! On a whim, we decided to go out to eat for dinner. By the time we got back, it was time for nebulizer, bath, books, and bed.

On Sunday morning, I took both boys to the grocery store. Seth fell asleep on the way home and went down for his morning nap. I let William watch videos while I put away groceries, cleaned out the fridge, and cleaned up the kitchen. At 10:30, my friend and her daughter came over for a play date. Katherine is almost 3 and enjoyed playing with William's toys. She was not a big fan of Seth getting all up in her business (she's an only child so far), but she did pretty well. At one point, my friend and I were laughing at some pretty stereotypical role-playing going on. Katherine was inside the playhouse vacuuming, while William had climbed on top of the playhouse and was "fixing the roof" with his power drill. It was pretty funny. After lunch (during which Seth and Katherine ate while William didn't), Katherine and her mom left, and Ed and I decided to take the boys to Gravelly Point to watch the airplanes take off and land at the airport. (Gravelly point is a park on the river, right next to National Airport.) On our way there, both boys fell asleep, so we drove to a nearby deli so Ed could get something to eat, and then went to the park. The boys finally woke up and we enjoyed watching the planes. Unfortunately, it was freezing by the water, so we didn't stay for very long. But it was still fun!

When we got back, William played on his own for about two hours (with everything centered on airplanes, of course!), while Seth alternated between playing with toys and with Ed and me. Meanwhile, I simultaneously made two dinners--one for last night and one for tonight. Woo-hoo for planning ahead! On Saturday night, I spent a lot of time working out this week's menu plan, so I'm hoping we'll have a good week of eating. I've been really bad over the past month in terms of making real dinners and lunch for myself. Ed and I have been doing a lot of scavenging for dinner (I've eaten a lot of cereal!) while the boys have eaten a lot of macaroni and cheese, chicken nuggets, meatballs, and pasta.

So here is this week's menu, including last night:

Sunday:

• Baked chicken tenders (I dredge the tenders in flour mixed with Ranch dressing seasoning, then dip in egg, and then in seasoned bread crumbs.)
• Green Beans
• Stove Top stuffing
  

Monday:

• Beef, Cheese, and Noodle Bake (made with ground turkey breast, instead of beef)
• Salad
• Dinner rolls

Tuesday:

• Garlic Herbed Tilapia Filets (I'm using McCormick's garlic herb seasoning)
  
• Asparagus
• Rice

Wednesday:

• Sirloin steaks (marinated in something--don't know what yet)
  
• corn on the cob
• salad (broccoli for the kids)
• dinner rolls

Thursday:

• Pizza (homemade, using TJ's pizza dough)
  

Friday:

• Spaghetti with Angel Hair pasta
• garlic bread

I'm hoping we can stick to this plan all week. And I'm hoping these are all things that everyone will eat. (Even though Ed doesn't like pasta all that much. Sorry Ed!) I hope to do the spaghetti sauce in the crock pot for Friday, and if the weather is nice on Wednesday, I'll grill the steaks. I might switch up Wednesday and Friday, but we'll see. I'm trying to cut back on the red meat a bit--limit it to two or three times a week max, which is hard for my meat-loving boys. Neither Ed nor William likes casseroles, which makes it difficult when I'm trying to come up with dinners that I can make ahead of time and that require little prep time. And there aren't a lot of things I've cooked in the crock pot that both Ed and William enjoy. We'll see how it goes! It's so tantalizing to see how close we are to eating real family meals together. There are very few things Seth can't eat--yay for that!

So that's it for the weekend round-up. This weekend coming up is William's birthday party. We're having it on Saturday at a local working farm, so hopefully the weather will be nice. I haven't gotten anything ready, so this week will involve some late-night trips to Target and the party store. I probably should have spent some time this past weekend preparing, but then the weekend might not have been nearly as relaxing! And in the end, it will all get done.

Bottle Free!

Two nights ago, I used the last bottle liner for Seth's morning bottle. He's been bottle-free at daycare for at least a month, but I've still been giving him a bottle before bed and in the morning, and on the weekends, I've been giving him a bottle before naps. When I used the last bottle liner, however, I decided not to buy anymore. So last night before bed, I made a sippy cup of formula mixed with milk, and Seth didn't complain one bit. He didn't drink much, but he went right to sleep, as usual. This morning, I made another sippy cup when he woke up, and he drank the whole thing without stopping--no complaints at all. And again tonight before bed, he drank his sippy cup without batting an eye. Woo-hoo! Bye-bye bottles!

I'm hoping, too, that I'm on my last container of formula. I've been mixing milk with his formula, and he seems to be handling it fine. Next week I'll up the milk a bit more, and see how it goes. I'm giddy at the prospect--no more bottles AND no more formula! This means we're even closer to-- *gasp!*--no more diapers! Okay--I'm getting a little ahead of myself. But we're definitely making progress. I washed all the bottles tonight for the last time. Praise be!

Of course, I'm lucky that Seth never developed an attachment to his bottles. His pacifier, though? That's a different story. I think he's getting more attached as he gets older. But I'm not worried. I have no problems with the pacifier--other than keeping track of them! I imagine we'll wean from the pacifier the same way it happened with William--just kind of on accident. All of our "weaning" milestones have happened that way--nursing, bottles, pacifiers, even sleeping to some extent. Well, maybe not by accident, but without any purposeful plan or agenda. I never forced the issue--it just kind of happened. And in hindsight, it happened when everyone was ready. I'm generally a nonconfrontational person, so that's probably why it worked well for me. I assume that had I ever gotten to the point where I couldn't stand something anymore, I would have forced the issue. But maybe not. Regardless, I'm glad things have worked out the way they have.

And speaking of milestones, we're getting closer to potty training with William! Several times in recent days, he's told me that he wants to poop on the potty, but then he chickens out when we actually get to the potty. But that's okay--it's progress! And this morning, he woke up dry and peed in the potty when he got up. That's a first. He often tells me when he's peeing in his diaper, too. All good signs. We might try underwear this weekend and see what happens. I have hope that he'll have his "breakthrough" soon. But of course, I'm not pushing it! (It isn't my nature.)

Happy 3rd Birthday William!

Dear William,

You turned 3 today and my heart is so full of love for you. I think the day was a bit anticlimactic for you, but even at 3, you don't expect much. We almost didn't light the candles and sing "Happy Birthday" tonight, simply because time got away from us and it was getting late. But just before we were ready to read stories, you asked, "Can we light the candles and sing 'Happy Berfday'?" So we headed back downstairs and lit the candles and sang "Happy Berfday" to you. I cut a piece of chocolate cake for you, but you decided you didn't really want it. Maybe tomorrow night!

You caught a cold which turned into wheezing, so you spent the morning with Mommy, taking a trip to see the doctor. You're fine--we just have to work in some extra nebulizer treatments--but to tell you the truth, I'm glad we got that little bit of extra time together, just you and me. Even though you haven't been feeling well, you're still your same sweet, happy self. You were so good for the doctor, as you always are. You're never scared and never shy at the doctor's office. I love that about you.

I love so much about you! You're developing a great sense of humor. Whenever you accidentally hurt yourself or knock something over, you say, "I shouldn't have done that!" You're mimicking Dave from your Real Wheel videos, but I love that you get it--that your delivery is spot on!

I love how you're developing empathy for others, and I love how considerate you are. You are so sweet with Seth (most of the time!) and I can see that you genuinely love him. And I love how you play with your friends, and how you want them to be happy and have a good time.

I love how observant you are. You never miss anything! You ask questions all the time, and I hope you'll always be this way--always wanting to know more, and always reinforcing what you already know.

And I love how you still love trucks and construction equipment and vehicles of all kinds.

You are becoming so independent and so much of a kid now. It almost breaks my heart--almost. Mostly, though, it fills me with pride to see you learn new things, to take joy in learning and experiencing and being, to see you becoming the person that you are.

There is so much that Daddy and I want to give you--confidence, patience, knowledge, strength, peace--but the best we can do is love you with all of our hearts, and we do. You are an amazing little person, and we promise to do our best to nurture you and help you and guide you. Every day, our job gets harder. But every day, our love grows deeper. We are so lucky to have you. I hope you had a wonderful birthday and that you fell asleep feeling secure and happy and loved. I wish that for you every night of your life!

All my love, forever and ever,
Mommy

Two Weeks? It's Been Two Weeks?

I'm not sure how I let two weeks slip by without posting. I know I've been trying to catch up on Lost episodes, and Ed's been trying to figure out why we can't get our wireless router to work, and there have been a lot of nights where I've just been too tired. But two freakin' weeks?

Well, I guess this will be a catch-up post. Here are some of the things we've done over the past two weeks.

• Seth caught a mysterious rash that had no symptoms other than the rash, but it was a virus, and several other kids in the infant room caught it, and some doctors thought it might be a mild strain of coxsackie. Our pediatrician said it wasn't coxsackie, and okayed Seth to return to school right away, but since other doctors suggested the kids stay home for several days, or until the rash went away, you can imagine the brouhaha that it turned into. William caught the rash several days later, so we kept him home Wednesday through Friday.


• I lost my iPhone somewhere between the doctor's office, Subway, and the library. I've been absolutely sick about it, and frustrated that Apple and AT&T don't have a system for making a lost or stolen iPhone unusable by anyone else. They all have serial numbers, so when I call and report my phone lost or stolen, if someone else then tries to activate that phone, why can't they say, "That phone was reported lost or stolen. Please turn it in to the nearest Apple or AT&T store." Even if people don't turn it in, the incentive for stealing one or not turning in a found phone would be nil. Anyway, life without the iPhone sucks!
  


• We went to a "Truck Touch" this past weekend. There were all kinds of vehicles there that kids could sit in and touch and explore, including a fire truck, school bus, police car, front loader, dump truck, garbage truck, UPS truck, pickup truck, motorcycle, and mail truck. William had a ball, and Seth loved the live music.
  
• Seth has turned into a toddler, with all the attitude that that entails. He is very headstrong and wants what he wants when he wants it. He can pitch a mean fit! His latest battle is the car seat. He stiffens up and has a good cry every time I put him in it. Fortunately, his bark is much louder than his bite, and he seems to get over things very quickly. I hope that will always be the case! He's trying really hard to talk, and he's managing to communicate quite well. At daycare, all the kids have to sit down when they drink their milk or eat snack. So if Seth sees something he wants to eat or drink, he'll just sit down. Today we were playing with some neighbors and the little girl had a cracker. Seth saw the cracker and walked over to her and sat down. It was so cute! At the truck touch, he saw someone's sippy cup and he sat right down. Too funny.


• William celebrated his birthday a few days early with the family on Mother's Day. He got this from his grandparents--what an awesome gift!
• Speaking of Mother's Day, I had a fabulous day, spent with the three boys that I love most in this world. We went to Ed's parents and spent the day with family. The boys had a great time and were completely worn out by the time we got home. I had told Ed that I didn't want any gift (and I really didn't), but being the wonderful husband that he is, he got me a new iPhone. I have never felt so underserving of a gift in my entire life. But the sweetest thing he did wasn't the gift itself--it was the fact that he never once got mad at me for losing the phone. He never said, "I knew you were going to lose it," he never called me irresponsible, he never made me feel bad. What a great husband.

Wednesday is William's birthday. I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around the fact that my first baby is three. He is such a great kid. Today he told Seth that he loved him, and it just about melted my heart. He is sweet and thoughtful and kind and just wants to play and play and play. I love watching his personality unfold and I love being his mother. More to come on Wednesday. I feel like I have so much more to blog about, but this will do for now. Although I took another unintended blogging break, this time it wasn't because I was stressed or overwhelmed or barely surviving, so that's a very good thing. I guess we're in an okay place right now, so for that, I'm thankful!

Quick Birthday Party Recap

Seth enjoyed his first birthday party on Sunday, despite the fact that his top two teeth are finally poking through. Thanks to my mom, the party was a success! Definitely would not have been able to do it without her--what was I thinking? But all's well that ends well. I didn't take nearly enough pictures, but that's nothing new. But I got the most important ones--the birthday boy enjoying his cake!
I ended up making his cake, and I'm glad I did. I wasn't too original--I went with the puppy theme, which was the same thing I did for William's first birthday. But a hit is a hit, right?

April Showers

William and Seth took a shower tonight, instead of a bath--for the first time! Our new shower is a walk-in, and William has been very curious about it, but not quite "brave" enough to actually take a shower. About a week ago, I convinced him to step in the shower to wash off his "privates" since he hates it when I have to wipe away his "business." He liked it, but didn't get his whole body wet.

Tonight, he wanted to put his poop from his diaper into the potty. I agreed, since I'm doing whatever I can to encourage pooping in the potty. He failed to tell me that his poop was, ahem, mushy. (Note to self--next time, check before pursuing that option!) So here I was, trying to empty the dirty diaper into the toilet while simultaneously trying to keep Seth from putting his hands in the toilet and grabbing the poop, while also trying to keep William still until I had a chance to wipe him. I'm sure it was a funny scene from the outside. (If you like potty humor!)

William was not cooperating when it came time to wipe his privates, so I asked him if he wanted to stand in the shower to clean himself off. He said yes, so we went to our bathroom and I turned on the shower. William got in and let the water clean him off (with a little help from a wash cloth). Meanwhile, Seth also got in and had a great time getting completely drenched in the shower. When William saw Seth getting completely wet, he decided to try it, too. And he loved it! After a few minutes, he asked me to take Seth out and close the shower door! I obliged after soaping them both up and rinsing them off, and William enjoyed a ten-minute shower by himself while Seth played in our bathroom. I wonder how often he'll want to shower versus taking a bath? Lucky for him, I'm okay with either option. The milestones just keep on coming, don't they!

Seth's Birthday--Earth Day

We had a great day today, although we paid little attention to the fact that it was Earth Day. I feel pangs of guilt, but next year we will do better. Instead, we met up today with Julie, Bill, and Lana of My Life with Roundface. We went to a mall and the kids played in the play area and made Build-a-Bears and then we ate lunch together. It was so great to see them and to catch up, although it was challenging, of course, with three kids under 3 in the mix! I'm sure I seemed so disjointed and disorganized. Seth managed to get a big goose egg on his head at Build-a-Bear. He was fine in a matter of minutes, but his head doesn't look so good! Poor guy. William was obsessed with a tractor that was parked in the middle of the mall. I let him sit on it, and he was in 7th heaven.

They also had a play area with a bunch of those little cars and helicopters that move all around when you put quarters in them. William sat in all of them, and would have been content to stay there for the rest of the day.

Lana watched William like he had two heads, which totally made me laugh. I know Lana--I don't get it either! It was fun to eat lunch with them, and all the kids were great. Julie is pregnant and looks fantastic. I feel like such a jerk, though, because I didn't even ask her about her father. He's battling lung cancer, and they came to the east coast to visit with him. It's just so hard sometimes with two kids to keep track of when you're out and about. It's hard to maintain coherenet thoughts in your head. At any rate, it was an awesome visit and made me wish that they still lived in the area. Hopefully we'll be able to visit them on the west coast some day. Julie has pictures, so hopefully she'll either post them or send them to me.

After we got home, we spent the rest of the day playing. The weather wasn't great, so we stayed inside. We made cupcakes for Seth, and after dinner, we all sang Happy Birthday and ate cupcakes. I finally got chair pictures after bath. They're not the best, but better than nothing. Here's the best of the lot:

So all in all, a great day! I can't believe it was just a year ago that Seth was born. A year makes such a huge difference in the life of a child. Both boys are so different--so grown up. Seth is now a toddler, and William is a "kid." I loved spending the day with them and am so grateful that I can do that--take the day off and not have to worry about it. While I really want time to slow down, I'm looking forward to seeing what the next year will bring.

Happy First Birthday Seth!

Dear Seth,

You made it! You have survived a whole year and we are so happy you're here. You are so happy and quick to laugh, and you go along with just about anything. When you were an itty bitty baby, I carried you around in a sling while we followed your big brother all around, and you were perfectly content to just hang out and sleep and watch William play.

As you've gotten older, you've shown us that you definitely have a mind of your own. You love to climb and explore and you have no fear--no sense of your limitations. You reach for the stars, and we love that about you. You aren't afraid to fall down, and you don't complain much when you do. You just get up and you keep on going. You are also quite determined when you set your mind on something--there's no distracting you. You love to play with all the things you're not supposed to--the toilet brush, the toilet paper, the glass bowls, my iPhone, the telephone, the remote control, anything your brother is playing with. You also love to steal your brother's sippy cups, and I have learned to make a sippy cup for you, too, whenever I make one for William.

You use a few signs, like "more" and "wash your hands," and you can say ball and cat, and when you see a dog, you pant. You are very outgoing and have very little stranger anxiety. You love your friends at school, and your teachers. Whenever I take you out of your car seat in the morning when we arrive at school, you get so excited and happy. You love especially love art--markers and crayons and paint. You like playdough, too, and I love how you'll put it to your mouth, just to see if I'm watching!

You get along with William so well, and tolerate so much abuse from him. He truly loves you and cares about you, but he's 3, and that means he's going to snatch toys from you and he'll push you down sometimes, and he'll get upset when you try to play with his toys. But every morning when he wakes up, he asks where you are. And he loves to play with you in the baby room at school every morning. And he really loves making you laugh--which isn't very hard at all!

You are such a joy, and you bring so much to our family. I have loved watching you grow and learn and become the little toddler that you are now. I can't wait to see more--to hear you talk, to watch you play with William, to find out what your favorite toys and books will be. You will change so much in the coming year, but you will always be my baby. I love how cuddly and sweet you are, how you giggle, how you throw a little fit when I take something away from you that you want. I hope that you will always feel our love for you and that you will always know how happy you make us. We love you, forever and always!

Mommy, Daddy, and William

So Much to Talk About, So Little Time

We had a pretty good weekend, found some new playgrounds, visited the fishing pond, closed on our house, went to CVS's Minute Clinic twice, and used a Neti Pot--all since my last post.

Yep--we've been busy. Today the cable guy came to install our cable Internet and phone package. I opted to set up the Internet myself, thus saving the $100 set-up fee, but that probably means it will be another week before I actually have the Internet at home, because I'm sure it won't work and I'll have to call the cable company, and I'll probably end up paying the damn fee anyway. But that might be a post for another day.

In the meantime, Seth will turn one TOMORROW, and I might not be able to post about it on his birthday. So when I do post about it, I will probably pre-date it so that it appears to have been posted on his birthday. Hope y'all won't mind!

As for our weekend and all that it entailed, Ed and I got our old house all cleaned up and in tip-top shape for the new owners on Saturday. We had the closing yesterday, and as of now, we are no longer home owners. After cleaning the old house on Saturday, the boys and I enjoyed the beautiful spring weather and went out to explore our new neighborhood. We found another tot lot close by, and then made our way to the elementary school, which has two fabulous playgrounds. The boys played on both of them and wore themselves out. We went back to the playgrounds on Sunday so they could play some more. Earlier on Sunday, Ed took William to check out the fish pond. And we also met many more neighbors. So far, life at the new house is pretty good.

As for the Minute Clinic at CVS, I have developed a sinus infection, so I went there after the closing on Monday to get an antibiotic. I had no wait at all, and the doctor was so nice. She even took me to the cold and allergy aisle and showed me some OTC remedies for head colds that would help prevent sinus infections. She recommended the Neti Pot! (More on that later.) It was such a great experience that I took William there after school so they could check his ears and throat and make sure nothing was amiss. I could have taken him to our pediatrician, but I always feel bad when I go there and they tell me, "It's just a virus." I feel like I'm wasting their time. Plus I would have had to wait for a later appt., and it was way more convenient to just drop by the CVS. The Minute Clinic is open on the weekends, too, so I will be taking advantage of that more often in the future! Yay for options.

As for the Neti Pot, I know someone reviewed one on a blog that I read not too long ago. I tried it last night, and it was not nearly as uncomfortable as I thought it would be. And it definitely cleared up the sinuses. They filled up again after 15 minutes, but it was nice while it lasted! And I will definitely do it daily whenever I get a cold to help prevent a sinus infection. It is worth it! If you've never heard of the Neti Pot, just Google it.

The boys had their pictures taken at school today. William smiled big, but Seth cried and cried. They did get a few shots of Seth where he wasn't flat-out crying (one by himself and one with Willaim), but he has a very pained expression on his face. Apparently, all of the babies were freaked out by the studio set-up. Seth was literally shaking when I put him down on the seat. Poor guy! I've been wanting to hire a professional photographer to take some pictures of the boys and some family shots in the great outdoors. Guess I need to pony up and do it!

So that's our update. Hopefully the next time I post, it will be from my home computer. Wish me luck!

Revisiting the Past, and Why I Blog

I was looking at my blog posts from this time two years ago, when William was about to turn one. I'm so happy that I have this diary to look back on, to help me remember how things were. I posted a "guest blog" back then that author Anna Quindlen had written, called "On Being Mom," and it bears rereading, in my book. Quindlen wrote,

But the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while doing this. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of the three of them sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4 and 1. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.

Megan wrote about this recently--about how to live in the moment, how to really feel the happiness and the joy and how to let go of the rest. It's really hard to do that when the daily grind just wears you down. But it's so so important. And blogging definitely helps. When Seth wakes up in the middle of the night, although I know that uninterrupted sleep is important and that teaching him to sleep is important, I also think about how he will never be this little again, and I will not always have this ability to be everything he needs, right when he needs it. He wants me to hold him, and I can. He wants a bottle, and I can give him that. He wants comfort, and that's my job. When William comes into our room at 5:00 in the morning and climbs on top of me and tries to snuggle his gangly, 3-year-old body into a comfortable position, I just hold him as close as I can. There will come a day when I won't get to snuggle like that with him anymore. When I won't be everything that he needs.

Parenting is so very hard. The responsibility is enormous and overwhelming. The worry, the guilt, the pressure, the stress. But the rewards are never-ending. The unconditional love, the cuteness, the hilarity, the pride, the joy, the sweet moments. My friend MJ wrote a beautiful post one, called "Life is Beautiful," in which she anticipated enjoying so many experiences the second time around through the eyes of her child. Such a great articulation of what makes parenting so wonderful.

So for now, I will keep blogging about my kids, about parenting, about my doubts and worries, and about the really happy moments. And I will read and reread these posts, because they help me to see how far I've come, to remember what it was like, and to feel the joy all over again.

"I Like My New House, Mommy!"

William has been telling us quite often that he likes his new house. I wonder when the novelty will wear off? Will he then decide that he's ready to go back to the old house? We stayed home yesterday because William caught the cold that Seth and I have been nursing. I thought he might have a bad day, but he ended up being fine. He's coughing a bit more today, but hopefully he'll be fine. Seth seems to be okay, and I'm feeling much better. So that's a relief.

Unfortunately, it rained all day yesterday, so we didn't get to explore our new neighborhood. But William figured out all the toys that he's missing, "Where's my excavator, Mommy? Where's my garbage truck? No--not that one, the big one! Where are my trains, Mommy?" The boy has ten gazillion toys, and he knows EXACTLY what's missing. Go figure. I didn't get a whole lot done with both boys home, but we did make a trip to Walmart, and I did make a note of some things we need and where I want certain things to go. I have a huge walk-in closet and have no idea how to organize it or what to put in there. My clothes only take up about 1/4th the space, so I think this definitely means I need more clothes. Right?

Meanwhile, Ed has continued to work like a machine, unpacking and breaking down boxes. He worked on his office last night after the boys went to bed. I know that he is so completely exhausted, and yet he is driven to get things in order. Of course, disorder drives him batty, so he is motivated. I, on the other hand, feel perfectly comfortable with half-emptied boxes all over the place and piles of stuff that have no homes yet. But in deference to him and how hard he's been working, I've been making a big effort to find places for things. My closet has become the temporary catch-all for things that don't have homes yet. Hope that doesn't become permanent!

Seth's first birthday is one week from today. How did that get here so quickly? He is gaining new skills left and right. He catches onto signs really quickly, so I want to work on signing with him much more. He can sign for "more," and "milk" and "all done." When I say we need to wash hands, he rubs his hands together. When I ask him what a doggie says, he pants. And whenever he sees a dog he pants. And his first word is "ball." I can't wait to see what he'll call William. He lives to climb on things, and definitely has a bit of the devil in him. I could go on, but I'll save it for his birthday post. And not long after that, William will turn 3. We will have a 3 year old! He's a kid now--no longer a toddler. Again--how did that happen? I can't wait to write their birthday posts. We are so fortunate to have two pretty amazing kids!

Settling In

The move was a success! Of course, it rained and rained and rained Saturday morning--the whole time we were moving. THE WHOLE TIME. When the movers finally finished and started putting the truck in order to leave, the rain stopped. Soooo typical. I'm so glad we decided to take the boys to Ed's parents on Friday night because it would NOT have been fun keeping them inside and trying to stay out of the way of the movers.

There were six moving men and two trucks and it took them about 6 hours to move the entire house. It helped tremendously that Ed had moved all of the packed boxes into the garage, so all they had to do was load them right into the truck. And while they moved our furniture, Ed loaded up our van with boxes of valuables and breakables that he wanted to move himself, and all the random stuff, baskets of laundry, etc. etc. Meanwhile, it took me forever to get going Saturday morning, so I finally showed up at the old house at 11:00 a.m. I took a load to the new house and was there when the movers got there with their trucks. As they unloaded, we directed and I started unpacking the kitchen. After the movers finished and left, Ed and I unpacked and unpacked and unpacked, and I got most of the kitchen done before I had to leave to head back to Ed's parents. Ed was a total machine and got the basement shelves attached the wall and unpacked most of the basement toys. He also got all the boxes sorted into the right rooms, and unpacked a bunch of other things upstairs.

When I got there on Sunday, he was attaching more shelves to walls and I finished up the kitchen and got the boys rooms all put together--sheets on beds and books on the shelves. I went to the old house and packed up the fridge and freezer stuff, and the last of the odds and ends--shower curtains, bathroom trash cans, etc. etc. William and Seth arrived around 3:00 and as we showed Ed's sister and BIL around the new house, William kept saying, "This is nice!" Too funny. William played outside on the deck for a few hours with his new firetruck while I unpacked some more and tried to keep Seth out of trouble. Seth is my little monkey. That boy loves to climb! Every time I turned around he had climbed onto a box or chair or step stool or anything he could find. It cracks me up. Anyway, we also went outside and William mowed the grass out back with his mower and he rode his tricycle to the little tot lot at the end of our row of townhouses. Seth went down the slide a few times while William rode his tricycle down an incline several times.

Anyway, we ate dinner and took baths and read stories and both boys went to sleep fairly easily. It took William a bit of time, but not as long as I anticipated. We had put his full bed together for his new room, as opposed to just putting the box spring and mattress on the floor, and he seems to really like his "big boy" bed. So all in all, the first night at our new home was a big success!

Ed continued to unpack after the boys went to bed while I went to the grocery store. He got our living room all in order and things are looking really good. He also got the gate at the top of the stairs attached--on the third floor, with the bedrooms. We have to get a new gate for the main level stairs that go tot he basement. All in all, I really like our new place. I love my kitchen--especially the pantry. All of my appliances are in my kitchen, and not downstairs or in a closet somewhere. They all fit in my pantry. (My breadmaker, waffle iron, crock pot, coffee maker, knife sharpener.) And so do my serving platters and trays, and my cake pans, and even our Bissell steam clean machine. Life is good when you have a pantry! I also love my soaking tub, although I haven't used it yet. William used it last night and had a ball "swimming." There are lots of other specific things that are great--I actually have a full-length mirror on my closet door! And the master bedroom ceiling is vaulted so it makes the room feel huge. We also met several neighbors and everyone is very nice. I think the positives will outweigh the negatives.

The only other wrinkle in our weekend was that I caught a cold. Seth started getting sick on Thursday with a runny nose, and by mid-morning Saturday, I started feeling miserable. Seth has been a trooper, especially if he's felt as awful as I have. I've been taking Motrin and cold medicine and soldiering on. William and Ed are okay so far (I'm vigorously knocking on my desk right now), and Seth will hopefully have nothing worse than a goopy nose and a light cough.

I'll try to take some pictures as we get unpacked and settled. I'm happy with the progress we've made so far. Of course, this morning was a bit of a zoo, as we realized that we hadn't really set up our bathroom. We couldn't find our shampoo, I couldn't find my comb or sweaters, Ed couldn't find his razor. It's the little things! But overall, things are great. At the grocery store, I bought several ready-made meals, like Stouffers chicken alfredo, and a crock pot all-in-one meal, and one of those frozen meal-in-a-bag deals. Those might have to make a few repeat appearances in the grocery cart for a while, but that's okay. Whatever works, right?

Shutting Down

I'm about to turn my computer off and break it down. We decided that I will take the kids to Ed's parents tonight. It will be easier for everyone. And I doubt William will even realize that he's missing the movers and moving vans. He will get doted on all weekend by the family, and spoiled rotten by Grandma, and the Easter Bunny will visit him to boot.

I've gotten lots done today, but we're dangerously low on boxes. Ed will have to deal with the rest tonight. (Yet another advantage of taking the boys to the grandparents'--I'll get to sleep at a relatively decent hour!) I packed all the food and the rest of the kitchen, cleaned off and packed the outdoor toys, boxed up shoes, and various other odds and ends. I've also done four loads of laundry (where the heck did all of that come from?), folded them, and put them away.

I have an hour left to do a few more things. Blogging might be light for the next two weeks. We don't get Internet set up at the new place until April 21, so until then, I'll be blogging during lunch at work. Wish us luck! And good weather--it's supposed to rain all morning tomorrow. Blech!

Three Days and Counting

Just three days left in our house. We did more packing last night. I've been working on this huge laundry basket of ironing that has been sitting in our laundry room for at least a year. Most of the items are things I wore before I got pregnant with Seth. I hate ironing, but I also hate paying for something that I could do myself. Not to mention the fact that when you let it all pile up, you get a really huge dry cleaning bill. Anyway, it feels like I have new clothes now! And Ed got a few shirts, too, that he hasn't seen in years. LOL.

I'll do more ironing tonight while we watch LOST. I was kicking myself last night for not borrowing my neighbors dvds of Lost. I watched Frontline instead. I also packed the laundry room stuff. I finally found the silver polish that I knew I had but hadn't been able to find in 2 years. Who polishes silver anymore anyway?

I'll probably also try to pack shoes tonight, and there are still some kitchen things and picture frames that need packing. Hopefully we'll get those things done tonight and tomorrow night. I'm taking Friday off and bringing the kids to daycare, so I hope it will be a crazy productive day. I'll be packing the food (everything except the refrigerator) and cleaning and packing the outdoor toys. And also the last of the indoor toys. And any other last-minute things. Ed wants me to take the boys to his parents house on Friday night, rather than Saturday morning. But I really want William to see the moving truck and the moving men. We've been talking so much about it, and I think it will be weird for him to leave our house with everything in it and then go to the new house, with everything a huge mess. (Not that our "old" house isn't a huge mess.) Ed thinks he will pitch a fit when it's time to leave our house for Grandma's house on Saturday. He may be right. What do you guys think? Do we let William watch the movers for a little while, and then leave for Grandma's? Or should I just take him to Grandma's on Friday night?

Still not feeling great about the move, but this is my MO--keep expectations low, and things almost always end up better than I anticipated. So here's hoping!

Outside--It's the New Inside

William spent practically the entire weekend outside. If this is a taste of what's to come as the weather gets warmer, then I better get used to outdoor living. Seth spent most of his weekend outside, too, but he also took long naps inside, unlike William, who did not nap at all. Despite being exhausted by the end of each day, William managed to hold it together and we didn't have any major malfunctions. All in all, it was a great weekend.

While William and Seth spent the majority of their time outside, Ed and I managed to pack up the rest of the house--just about. I'd say we're about 90% packed. We have some odds and ends yet to pack--the outdoor toys, the food and utensils. And our shoes. But the rest of it is boxed up and ready to go. Moving day is Saturday, and I'm not going to dwell on it, but let's just say I've been experiencing lots of nostalgia and a twinge of remorse. I am very sad to be leaving our house. But on to new things, and hopefully better things.

I took some pictures of the boys outside Saturday morning. I imagine there will be lots more of these this summer!


This week we'll be busy try to pack everything that's left, and generally just getting ready for the movers bright and early on Saturday. Our plan is to let William see the moving van and watch the workers for a short while, and then I'll take him and Seth to Ed's parents. I'll go back to his parents on Saturday night and the boys and I will spend the night there. On Sunday, I'll go back to the new house to get unpacked and situated, and then either Ed's parents will bring the boys to the new house, or else Ed or I will go back to get them. Ed's parents have been a Godsend these past few weeks. We never would have gotten the packing done if not for them. They've been coming over every weekend and entertaining the boys while we pack. We're so lucky to have such helpful and supportive families!

The Daily Grind

I was going to write this post last night, but I was too tired at the end of the night, so I watched the pilot episode of Lost instead (part 1). I just started watching Lost this season, and I love it! But I'm so, well, lost. Anyway, as I was going through all the motions of my daily grind yesterday after work, I thought I should write them down for posterity. So here's a typical evening routine. Ed had to work late, so I shouldn't say "typical," but even with Ed home, there's not too much variation. Feel free to stop reading now because trust me, this will be boring!

We got home a little after 6:00 p.m. We had to sit in the car for a minute because William was having a time out for pulling Seth's pacifier out of his mouth. (In the car, a time out means he has to be quiet for 2 minutes, with no talking at all.)

As soon as William got out of the car, he went into the yard and started playing. I got Seth out of the car, along with my purse, the bottle bag, William's blanket, Seth's jacket, and the empty sippy cups, bowls, and bottle from the a.m. and p.m. rides. I put the stuff in the house and then walked William to the back yard so he could play. I told him he had to stay in the back yard while I went through the house and opened the back door.

After opening the back door (glass sliding door) and closing the screen, Seth and I went upstairs so I could quickly change my clothes. I watched William in the back yard from my bedroom windows.

Back downstairs, I put Seth down and he watched William through the screen door and played with the shoes by the door. I put cups and bowls in the dishwasher and bottles in the sink.

Seth and I then went outside for a few minutes. The ground was really wet, so I didn't put Seth down. William seemed content playing in the yard, so I left him there and went back inside to get dinner. While I was prepping dinner, I looked up to see William jumping in the sandbox. This wouldn't be a problem, except the sandbox is currently filled with about 2 inches of water. I would have fussed at him, but he was having such a good time. Instead I went to the screen door and asked him what he was doing. He gave me a really guilty, "busted" look and quickly got out of the sand box. It didn't seem to bother him that his feet were now wet, so I just let it go.

I heated up leftover Hamburger Helper for Seth and nuked some peas for him. (Yes--I make Hamburger Helper sometimes! I know--the horror!) I asked William if he wanted a ham and cheese omelet, but he said he just wanted ham and cheese. So after putting Seth in his seat and serving his dinner, I cut up ham and cheese for William (processed deli ham and American cheese--again, the horror!) and nuked broccoli for him.

I served William his dinner outside, but I had to wash his hands before he could eat. By now it was 6:30. William ate all his ham and cheese but left his broccoli. At around 6:45 I enticed him back inside, and he ate his broccoli. I told him we could download a new Backyardigans episode on the iPhone, so that was enough motivation for him.

We went upstairs a little before 7:00 and ended up downloading a Martha Speaks episode. I set William up with his nebulizer in our room so he could watch the new episode, and then I took Seth down the hall and started his bath. While I was bathing Seth, William abandoned his nebulizer treatment and joined us in the bathroom because he said Martha Speaks was scary. (This is where having Ed home would have helped, because Ed would have been with William during his treatment. Oh well!) He then went back and forth between the bedroom and bathroom, watching Martha Speaks and chatting with me.

About 7:15, I got Seth out of the bath and put him in his PJs. We went downstairs and I made Seth's bottle, came back upstairs and then got William's bath ready. William got in the bath and played while I gave Seth his bottle. I put Seth down in his crib about 7:40 (it's right next to the bathroom) and then washed William and got him out of the bath, got him in his pjs, and brushed his teeth. He wanted to brush my hair for a few minutes, so I let him. (What girl passes up an opportunity to get her hair brushed?)

I read him two stories (Berenstain Bears Go Out for the Team, and, hmmmm, can't remember the other one) and turned out his light. Then I told him a story (this is a new part of our routine--I make up stories about a little boy named William--he loves it!) and went downstairs to start my chores. I had to go back upstairs several times to put his covers back on, blow him kisses, and give him hugs. He finally fell asleep a little after 8:30.

Downstairs, I cleaned up after dinner (loaded the dishwasher, put stuff away, cleaned Seth's tray) and set the bottles to soaking in the sink. I cut up a grapefruit for this morning's breakfast and made my sandwich for lunch. I made two sippy cups of apple juice for the car and one sippy cup of chocolate milk for the morning. (Yes--William drinks chocolate millk. But it's Ovaltine, so it's not all bad, right?) I cleaned the bottles and set them to dry beside the sink. Ed got home about that time, so we chatted for a bit. He heated leftovers for dinner and I ate a bowl of Frosted Mini Wheats and another bowl of Smart Start.

I went upstairs with the idea of either blogging or cleaning out my desk, but I watched Lost instead. After Lost was over (it was 10:00 by then) I went back downstairs and made the bottles. Back upstairs I brushed my teeth and turned on the news. We watched TV for a little while and then finally went to sleep around 10:45 p.m.

So there's the grind. If Ed had been home, he would have supervised the nebulizer treatment, and would have stayed with William while he bathed. I usually bathe the boys together, and then Ed gets William out while I give Seth his bottle and put him to bed. Ed will read one or two books to William, and then after I get Seth down, I'll read one or two more and do the whole lights out routine. While I'm doing that, Ed is usually cleaning up in the kitchen or getting his and my dinner together. After we eat, we both clean up, and then he pays bills or does work, or whatever else he has to do, while I get bottles cleaned, bottles and lunch made, and all the next day prep.

So that's our drill. I know I've written about it before, and I'm not sure why I feel compelled to write it down again. I think part of me wants validation that what I'm doing is hard. And that I'm doing a pretty good job. (I know you all know it is hard, and I also know I don't have it nearly as hard as many many many other people.) Maybe I want validation because there's always this nagging feeling that I could and should be doing better. I should be feeding my kids healthier food--organic, not processed, homemade. I should be more organized so that I can play with the kids more when we get home, rather than scrambling to get dinner on the table while trying to keep an eye on both of them. And I should manage my time better and be more productive after the kids go to sleep, so that I can actually do all the things I say I want to do.

But the thing is, I'm doing the best I can. And every day is a new opportunity to do better. And maybe I'll get there, and maybe I won't. I need to stop comparing myself to other people who seem to have it all together. In the big picture, I have it all together. I may be spread a little thin, but things are always changing. I will not be washing bottles and making bottles forever. The kids will not be commuting to and from work with me forever. They will not be this needy forever. And oh how I'll miss it when it's gone. So for now, the fact that the boys get fed, and bathed, and dressed, and that we stick to our basic routine every night is good enough. We read books and play with toys and play outside. We keep our house picked up, and "clean" for the most part. We see friends and family, we go to birthday parties, we run errands and do laundry.

We're not perfect, my life is not "ideal." But what is ideal? My ideal would only turn out to be fraught with issues anyway. Truthfully, I wasn't any more productive when I was single and didn't have kids and seemingly had all the time in the world. There were always things I wanted to do but never got around to doing. My house was not spotless and my clothes were not always clean and perfectly pressed. My limitations are my limitations, regardless of my circumstances. The difference is, now I am surrounded by the love, chaos, joy, dread, hilarity, frustration, and happiness that is family--my family. My kids are happy and thriving and my marriage is strong. I am securely employed and we are financially sound. That is all that matters. So mission accomplished. I feel validated. I'm doing a great job. I really am.